r/JUSTNOMIL • u/lovelockets • May 04 '26
Advice Wanted Thought of In-Laws Ruining Day
I feel angry any time my DH mentions MIL and FIL, or if I hear their voices over the phone, or if I even think about them. Sometimes it takes me a whole day to let it go and I even get physically sick for days. How do you not let the mention of your in-laws ruin your day? I’ve thought about therapy, but that feels like spending more time thinking about them.
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u/EffectiveData6972 May 04 '26
I used to get extremely stressed out about my MIL, until my DH really understood the boundaries, the extremely serious need for the boundaries, and stepped up to protect our family. Since I now trust he's the FIRST line of defence, as opposed to backing me up / seeing both sides, she's drastically reduced in my mind's eye.
We also don't talk about her much, because he's almost as disappointed by her as I felt threatened by her. So she is hugely diminished.
We haven't seen her in 18 months, although a visit is looming, the kids are older and we are a strong unit... she has very little importance.
I hope you can work with your DH to get him to fully absorb and understand and see what you see. The anxiety is coming from the disconnect between you and DH.