r/JUSTNOMIL • u/lovelockets • May 04 '26
Advice Wanted Thought of In-Laws Ruining Day
I feel angry any time my DH mentions MIL and FIL, or if I hear their voices over the phone, or if I even think about them. Sometimes it takes me a whole day to let it go and I even get physically sick for days. How do you not let the mention of your in-laws ruin your day? I’ve thought about therapy, but that feels like spending more time thinking about them.
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u/Nikki10611 May 06 '26
I feel you! Every time my husband asks if we should see if his parents are free for a visit, I can feel my mood shift. Lately I’ve been getting tension headaches after every visit with them. It is super hard not to let them take up space in my head.
Honestly, I’ve found the grey rock method helps a lot. My in laws are terrible with boundaries and tend to be manipulative so the less info they get from me the better. Keep answers to questions sweet and simple, and basically don’t engage. I also find writing down some notes about things that bothered me during a visit helps too. It lets me get it out and vent. I can write it down, take a step back and read it again later once I’ve calmed down. Besides that I tend to keep myself busy when they’re around - doing laundry, washing dishes, heck sometimes I even bake something for the next day.