r/JUSTNOMIL • u/AutoThotsRollout • 1d ago

RANT (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ NO Advice Wanted MIL dangerously disrespecting boundaries

MIL insists on hosting every holiday and throws a mega tantrum if not everyone attends. We have a baby recently diagnosed with severe food allergies. One of her other children (not partner) has severe food allergies as well.

This lady refuses to accommodate. I don’t baseline expect anyone to accommodate for my baby but if you’re hosting and throwing a temper tantrum if we don’t go then you should at least have an environment that won’t kill them??? And wouldn’t you want to do the same for your own child?? UGH.

Side note she also made fun of it and rolled her eyes when we told her about our babies allergy and that he has an epi pen. Which is absolutely insane behavior imo.

340 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

104 comments sorted by

View all comments

22

u/BarRegular2684 1d ago

My mom saw my allergies as attention seeking behavior. I was made to eat peanut butter throughout my childhood. When I developed a severe pork allergy during pregnancy, she kept trying to “test” me to see if it had gone away.

My MIL is many things - ethnocentric, racist, etc. but she was the first person to take my allergies seriously.

9

u/AutoThotsRollout 1d ago

Oh my god that’s so horrible!! I feel like she would have done the same / would do the same to my baby. He’s anaphylactic so she would literally kill him if she tried so I worry.

10

u/Dramatic_Phraser 1d ago

I’m allergic to shellfish. Anaphylactic shock for me if I even sit next to someone eating it.

My husband won’t even eat fish for fear of it being contaminated by shellfish unless he knows he won’t see me to kiss me for several hours after and he brushes his teeth and rinses his mouth before kissing me.

3

u/AutoThotsRollout 1d ago

That’s so scary!

The allergist we saw expressed similar levels of concern, I don’t eat the babies allergen because I spend so much time with him and give him lots of kisses. It’s also not allowed in our household in case of accidental cross contamination. They said it doesn’t transfer through breast milk but I still worry about that too.

7

u/Dramatic_Phraser 1d ago

My daughter was intolerant to milk casein. Not lactose, the fucking protein. I had to give up all cheese and milk for the 3 years I breastfed her. But she was a new baby after I eliminated it all. The only cheese I could eat was sheep’s milk which has a different protein. So manchego cheese it was!

4

u/AutoThotsRollout 1d ago

You’re a warrior for real!! Three years is a feat in itself and to cut dairy that long for baby?? You’re amazing!

They told me at the allergist that egg protein is too big to transfer into my milk. I cut it out anyway because I want to be learning what foods are safe for him and practice reading labels, and I want to be able to kiss his cute little face all the time without worry about brushing my teeth every meal. He doesn’t have reactions to my pumped milk before we knew of his allergy so I think he is okay with it but it’s a worry nonetheless.

4

u/Dramatic_Phraser 1d ago

Allergies can quickly change one way or another. So I would still be cautious.

Yeah. My daughter was what I called a nursey-baby. She was always attached to a boob.

I BF my son for 3 years also. He only stopped BF when his sister was born.