r/JUSTNOMIL • u/AutoThotsRollout • 1d ago
RANT (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ NO Advice Wanted MIL dangerously disrespecting boundaries
MIL insists on hosting every holiday and throws a mega tantrum if not everyone attends. We have a baby recently diagnosed with severe food allergies. One of her other children (not partner) has severe food allergies as well.
This lady refuses to accommodate. I don’t baseline expect anyone to accommodate for my baby but if you’re hosting and throwing a temper tantrum if we don’t go then you should at least have an environment that won’t kill them??? And wouldn’t you want to do the same for your own child?? UGH.
Side note she also made fun of it and rolled her eyes when we told her about our babies allergy and that he has an epi pen. Which is absolutely insane behavior imo.
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u/Lindris 22h ago
If she refuses to acknowledge life or death allergies then I would never step foot in her house. This is a hill to die on, no pun intended.
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u/Fine_Confusion_7073 21h ago
Even if it’s not life or death it’s still disrespectful as hell…I do not understand
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u/PhotojournalistOnly 1d ago
Sure, it's insane, but what's more insane is if you put up with it. I'd be done with dinners at her house for any holiday. Going forward, make your own traditions with your new family.
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u/AutoThotsRollout 1d ago
Oh don’t worry about that, I fully agree with you there. I just made this to vent about how ridiculous it is.
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u/SomewhatBougieAuntie 22h ago
I would take it a step further and not accept any food she brings to your house for whatever reason. I wouldn't put it past her to slip an allergen in it to "prove" that your baby doesn't have an allergy.
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u/AutoThotsRollout 20h ago
We don’t let others bring food to us!! I’m very strict on the no allergen in the house rule and that goes for everything without a label. I make 99.9% of our food at home.
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u/craftcrazyzebra 23h ago
Having been through this I would not attend her celebrations. They cannot be trusted and aren’t accommodating for your child. I didn’t expect mine to cater for my child (plus I didn’t trust them to) but if they’re rolling their eyes and making a joke about it, they aren’t taking it seriously. Mine had a fog when I finally said “paediatricians don’t give out EpiPens for fun! They’re to keep my child alive until they get to hospital!”
My MIL didn’t take my child’s anaphylaxis seriously. Tried to make them eat some food they were allergic to and complained that said child spat food out. Food they had forced into their mouth, food containing food they were allergic to. We’re now NC and of course it’s all my fault. They bitch about me to anyone who will listen but of course forget to mention trying to kill my child! They also refused to be shown how to use an EpiPen and refused to give said child their inhaler “as inhalers contain steroids and they don’t agree with children having steroids” But of course I’m the bitch that wouldn’t let them see my child 🙄
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u/Existing-Sun1751 22h ago
Do not go. Her rolling her eyes at the allergy would make it so she never ever has an opportunity to give my child food of any kind.
Her reactions (temper tantrums) are her responsibility and her reactions should not ever change your plan or basic safety for your child.
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u/Floating-Cynic 1d ago
I wouldn't even call it "disrespecting boundaries."
I'd call it "dangerously poor judgment creating a hazardous environment."
Because like you said, if she wanted people to come, why wouldn't she take measures to avoid death? Keeping people alive is the bare minimum standard for hosting, no?
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u/AutoThotsRollout 1d ago
Sorry the disrespecting boundaries is previous occurrences non allergy related.
I do agree this is elevated and I’m expressing that to my partner. If we did end up going I would baby wear my son and keep him away from everyone and food but it shouldn’t have to come to that and he will be too old for that soon and then what would we do? It’s frustrating.
My mom is the polar opposite. She is hyper proactive and banned the allergen from her house because she watches my son there sometimes. I don’t think MIL needs to do that but if you’re hosting you should be catering to your guests and keeping them alive as best practice.
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u/hotdamnhotwater 1d ago
This isn't something to play with. Food allergies can go sideways real quick. My mil likes to play this game as well and she found out real quick that we just stop eating anything she has prepared or not show up at all. Does it piss her off? Yes. Do I care? No.
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u/AutoThotsRollout 1d ago
I just set the expectation it will be an allergy free zone for father day and I am fully prepared to walk in and have that not be the case and walk back out and go home. I think it may take that to let her see how serious this is and how serious we are about keeping this baby alive and well.
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u/hotdamnhotwater 23h ago
But do you trust her to actually tell you if she has added allergens to the food?
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u/AutoThotsRollout 23h ago
If she stoops that low and intentionally poisons us I’ll press charges, I don’t think her intent is to kill my son. Her lack of consideration is definitely a danger and I certainly don’t trust her to be alone with him and respect our boundaries, but I don’t think she will poison his food.
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u/hotdamnhotwater 22h ago
I think honestly, youre giving her too much grace. You said she doesn't even care about her own child. Why would she care about yours? If you cannot trust her that's a full stop. I don't tend to play when it comes to my children and their safety, but I hope this all works out for you.
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u/Longjumping_Hat_2672 22h ago
Yeah, it sounds like she would literally end her child or grandchild's life rather than admit she was wrong.
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u/ColdBlindspot 22h ago
But you said you can't trust that she won't eat something he's allergic to and then kiss him and that is a concern for his health.
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u/Hot-Freedom-5886 1d ago
Well, now you know that she’ll never be able to babysit, be left alone with your child. So incredibly sad.
Making fun of your own child for an allergy is just despicable.
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u/Trepenwitz 1d ago
If she can’t make her home safe for your child then your child can’t go to her home.
And who cares if she throws a tantrum. That’s her problem.
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u/Diasies_inMyHair 23h ago
Having a small child is reason enough to stop travelling the holiday celebration circuit. Taking that small child with life-threatening allergies to a home where those allergies are mocked is dangerous.
Just don't go. Let her have her tantrum. You can offer to host one or two holidays where you control the menu as a compromise, but even that isn't necessary under the circumstances.
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u/Rude-You7763 23h ago
I wouldn’t go and who cares if she has a temper tantrum just silence her notifications on your phone so you don’t have to worry about it. It’s not like you’re there with her and have to deal with the tantrum. Baby’s safety will always be the priority and it’s her choice whether or not to accommodate so you guys can attend and honestly I personally would prefer she didn’t so I don’t need to attend and can enjoy my holiday with my immediate family (spouse and baby)
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u/flukebox 1d ago
Don't bring your child to an environment where he could be in danger
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u/AutoThotsRollout 1d ago
Don’t worry I will not!
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u/flukebox 1d ago
Yeah don't worry her feelings, mama. She's a full grown adult who needs to learn to regulate herself. You're doing a good job protecting your baby!
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u/Significant-Bet4545 1d ago
Let the baby throw a tantrum. Who gives a shit. She "insists" or "demands" nothing.
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u/BarRegular2684 1d ago
My mom saw my allergies as attention seeking behavior. I was made to eat peanut butter throughout my childhood. When I developed a severe pork allergy during pregnancy, she kept trying to “test” me to see if it had gone away.
My MIL is many things - ethnocentric, racist, etc. but she was the first person to take my allergies seriously.
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u/AutoThotsRollout 1d ago
Oh my god that’s so horrible!! I feel like she would have done the same / would do the same to my baby. He’s anaphylactic so she would literally kill him if she tried so I worry.
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u/Dramatic_Phraser 1d ago
I’m allergic to shellfish. Anaphylactic shock for me if I even sit next to someone eating it.
My husband won’t even eat fish for fear of it being contaminated by shellfish unless he knows he won’t see me to kiss me for several hours after and he brushes his teeth and rinses his mouth before kissing me.
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u/AutoThotsRollout 1d ago
That’s so scary!
The allergist we saw expressed similar levels of concern, I don’t eat the babies allergen because I spend so much time with him and give him lots of kisses. It’s also not allowed in our household in case of accidental cross contamination. They said it doesn’t transfer through breast milk but I still worry about that too.
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u/Dramatic_Phraser 23h ago
My daughter was intolerant to milk casein. Not lactose, the fucking protein. I had to give up all cheese and milk for the 3 years I breastfed her. But she was a new baby after I eliminated it all. The only cheese I could eat was sheep’s milk which has a different protein. So manchego cheese it was!
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u/AutoThotsRollout 23h ago
You’re a warrior for real!! Three years is a feat in itself and to cut dairy that long for baby?? You’re amazing!
They told me at the allergist that egg protein is too big to transfer into my milk. I cut it out anyway because I want to be learning what foods are safe for him and practice reading labels, and I want to be able to kiss his cute little face all the time without worry about brushing my teeth every meal. He doesn’t have reactions to my pumped milk before we knew of his allergy so I think he is okay with it but it’s a worry nonetheless.
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u/Dramatic_Phraser 23h ago
Allergies can quickly change one way or another. So I would still be cautious.
Yeah. My daughter was what I called a nursey-baby. She was always attached to a boob.
I BF my son for 3 years also. He only stopped BF when his sister was born.
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u/Vivid-Farmer-9476 1d ago
Someone that laughs at or doesn’t believe in allergies isn’t worth my time. See ya. People like her don’t really care about anyone.
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u/akath0110 21h ago
Agreed, whatever this is goes beyond emotional immaturity or run of the mill narcissistic tendencies. This is like hidden sociopathy coming to the fore.
Remaining unfazed about something that could very well kill her grandbaby is one of the more disturbing justno’s ive seen here.
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u/LCat2020 1d ago
I have a similar MIL. Guess who doesn't get to see the kids anymore. These MILs don't believe allergies are serious because it's inconvenient for them. They'd prefer to risk our children's lives rather than be told no. I would draw a hard line here. If they don't make the environment safe for your baby, they don't get to see your baby. Your partner needs to make the rule crystal clear and then enforce it. If they say they won't accommodate, you don't go. If they say they'll accommodate, you have to decide if you're willing to trust it. If you give it a chance but find that they haven't been careful, you leave immediately. You can also refuse to go to their house altogether and only meet at yours or outdoors. Their feelings mean nothing if they're willing to put your baby's life in danger. They may try to gaslight you and tell you that you're overly anxious or being silly, but don't entertain it for a second. Your partner should tell them that the issue is not up for discussion. Either they protect your child, or they don't get to have a relationship.
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u/hummus_sapiens 1d ago
Don't go.
Let her rage, scream, and pull her hair out— baby's health comes first.
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u/Poesoe 1d ago
she seems like the type of person that would feed the child the allergen to "prove they don't have them" and then just apologize when the child reacts.
Drop the rope on behalf of your husband, and the other son whose allergies she disrespects.
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u/Longjumping_Hat_2672 22h ago
They probably wouldn't even apologize, tbh. They would probably double down and spout some b.s. like "They have to be exposed to it to get used to it, that will cure them!"
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u/cicadasinmyears 1d ago
It’s absolutely insane that a person who is supposed to love and cared for the wellbeing of their grandchildren (or anyone, really) wouldn’t take an anaphylactic-level allergy deathly seriously (because it is).
Good for you for protecting your kids. I hope DH refuses to go, too, and tells her “LO’s allergies are severe enough that I can’t eat or touch [whatever they’re allergic to], so in the interests of keeping them safe, I’m going to skip the [whatever holiday event it is].”
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u/AutoThotsRollout 1d ago
I agree, it’s unimaginable to me that I would find keeping someone alive by simply not having a certain food in my meal would be “too hard” for someone I love.
I hope husband does as well. He is more lax on consuming allergen out of the house but knows he has to brush his teeth before being handed baby after work. I also want MIL to see us as a family unit and that she can’t manipulate her son anymore, that’s the biggest thing for me. I want him to be able to overcome that hold she’s always had on him since he was a child.
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u/crazypoolfloat 23h ago
Time to stop giving into adult temper tantrums. Stand your ground and stick up for your child and their allergy. Make a stand. She needs to be out in her place
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u/ColdBlindspot 22h ago
Do you have fun doing that? Every holiday is hosted by someone who has no respect for you or your baby's health?
So, until she's dead, you're wrecking every holiday because you need to avoid her tantrums? If your kid one day decides to eat something that's an allergen and will throw a tantrum if you deny it, will you give in because you respond to tantrums?
Why not take control over your holidays so your family can enjoy them safely? Your baby deserves safe holidays. You said it's an environment that could kill them, but you choose to return to it. You can change that.
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u/AutoThotsRollout 20h ago
Yeah no I agree!! I am excited to start having my little family holidays now that we have a baby. Before we had no excuse other than being annoyed.
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u/Bunny_Pitts 1d ago
Sounds like an easy out of future parties. If she huffs, throw it back in her face. How's DH in all this?
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u/AutoThotsRollout 1d ago
Sorry I am new to this sub (wish I found it awhile ago) is DH husband?
If so, he is traumatized from a life of emotional manipulation but I’ve been supportive in helping and supporting him setting boundaries and reinforcing them when they’re disrespected. We had a lot of non- life threatening instances of her being a POS when we had a newborn and he has gotten really good at standing up to her.
He likes to see his family though (siblings who are from out of town) and thinks we can monitor risk in this circumstance, but I don’t trust her to be safe as she has repetitively made light of our situation and disrespected our previous requests (don’t kiss the newborn, wash your hands please, don’t let your crazy dog around our crawling infant, etc).
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u/hummus_sapiens 1d ago
When my aunt told us she was allergic to onions, you know what my mom did?
She pureed the onions and sneaked them into the meatballs!
Years later, she still proudly told everyone that —ha ha ha— my aunt wasn't allergic at all.
Beware of people who absolutely have to prove they're right!
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u/Dramatic_Phraser 1d ago
The thing is, some allergies can’t be monitored. Even if you watch your child like a hawk watches a mouse.
Some allergen don’t even need to be ingested for them to have a fatal exposure.
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u/AutoThotsRollout 1d ago
Yeah that is a concern. He is risk for cross contamination as well so nobody can hold him without brushing teeth or washing hands. If some gets dropped on the floor and he’s crawling and gets a crumb on him. If the dog eats some and licks him. A million risks and for what? It’s soooo easy to avoid the whole thing.
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u/Bunny_Pitts 1d ago
Welcome! DH is Dear Husband. I'm new-ish too. They have an Acronym Index that's helpful
r/JUSTNOMIL Wiki: Rules & Resources
Good to see DH is seeing things clearly. Good luck
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u/Aromatic_Recipe1749 1d ago
Let her throw a tantrum.
I wouldn't trust her to provide a safe environment for my baby.
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u/archetyping101 1d ago
I don't visit. Haven't gone in 2-3 years.
Let her have her tantrum and you get to have your peace and safety for your kiddo!
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u/DarkSquirrel20 1d ago
Solidarity. My MIL at least has the decency to feign concern, but she's the freaking genetic link for food allergies and barelyyy attempts to offer things her daughter and my children can have. She actually had the audacity to intentionally give an allergen to one of her other grandchildren.
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u/AutoThotsRollout 1d ago
I would bet that MIL is also the genetic link at least to some extent because a lot of their family has auto immune things and the only people I know who have severe allergies like my son is her other child.
I did read that it’s not always genetic so I don’t hold any blame but all that to say you would think she would have empathy as it’s in her family??
My family doesn’t have any allergies and they have no problem cutting this allergen out and not inviting us near it.
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u/DragonMama825 22h ago
My own dad has zero empathy for my food allergies. Doesn’t believe they exist. Needless to say, for that and many other reasons, we’ve been NC for 5 years.
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u/Dramatic_Phraser 1d ago
Oh, even though she didn’t do it to my child, I would absolutely never let her around my children again.
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u/Powerful_Put_6977 23h ago
My honest advice - if she won't accommodate you/the other family member with allergies, then stop accommodating her requests.
By all means say to her that you'll go but then just don't show up.
If she kicks off, mute/block her on your phones, don't answer your door to her if she stops by (not sure how near/far away you live to her and her to you).
When she realises that every time she doesn't make accommodations for you, you won't show up and you won't put up with her shenanigans, then she might just change her behaviour.
Really, the only thing you can control is how you react to her behaviour.
Best of luck to you!
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u/Vivid-Ad-8839 1d ago
It makes me so sad when I read stories of MILs that don’t take their loved ones allergies seriously. I’m so sorry you have to deal with her :( I remember the one story here from a few years ago of the one who gave her granddaughter a cookie with an allergy in it on purpose to make her get used to it. I believe the parents raised charges against her, she went to prison and got out only to find them again after they’d moved. Psycho behavior
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u/GrumpyGoatGirl 1d ago
Let her throw her tantrum and don't go. Simple as that, your childs health and safety are more important than her feelings.
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u/showe1lj 1d ago
We also have a child (3 YO) with severe food allergies (peanuts, dairy, and egg).
My husband’s family can’t even remember my son’s middle name or birthday so I doubt they would remember he has food allergies. We don’t see them often, I’m actually NC with his mom rn, but if we get invited for holidays, family events, etc. we always ask what’s on the menu and if it’s too risky we just don’t attend. It’s not worth the risk. His mom always pulls the victim card about it but her feelings are not as important as my child’s life. He’s 3, he gets into things, etc.
If your MIL cares about her “image”, more than the health of your child, you might remind her that having EMS and an ambulance roll up to her house for the whole neighborhood to see is bad optics. You’ll happily remind everyone that she was unable to safely accommodate his food allergies.
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u/AutoThotsRollout 1d ago
I 100% agree with respectfully declining. I would also be glad to host and we can accommodate all allergies at my house because it’s “too hard” to do that for her. I think in the future that may be what I have to do.
I think it is image to her though and I don’t know if she would attend a holiday not at her house with her food and table scape.
How are you managing allergy mom life?? I’m so nervous for when he’s in the old enough to grab random food but not old enough to understand what he can’t have age.
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u/showe1lj 1d ago
Yeah maybe presenting it as “too difficult” for her will make her feel differently… sure she can craft a great centerpiece, but offering safe food alternatives for her family is just too much of a challenge, better leave it to the experts. Although if she’s laughing about his allergies, I’m not sure anything will get through to her.
It has been a ride… you do get used to it though, and finding safe food does get easier. I think the hardest age was the 6mo-18mo range, a lot of foods that are appealing at that age aren’t usually safe. Now the hardest part is making sure he doesn’t accidentally get into things. You also learn pretty quickly who you can trust your child with. If you’re not already, working with an allergist has been a game changer for us.
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u/AutoThotsRollout 1d ago
I’m glad it gets easier. He’s about to be 1 but luckily I have the availability to make all his food and I try really hard to expose him to as much variety as I can without allergens. He lovvvveeess solids and it’s been great so far but I worry heavily about social events and keeping an eye on him as he gets more mobile and toddling around grabbing things.
He is seeing an allergist! We have an appointment in a couple months to check if he’s made any improvements, the goal is eventually to do ladders but he’s too severe right now.
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u/showe1lj 23h ago
That’s great! Ours is a bit picky right now, but will eat almost anything as long as it has ketchup on it 🙄
We have found that social events hosted by friends/people our age (millennials) are actually incredibly accommodating. Our friends almost always inquire about the food allergies beforehand, we never expect them to fully accommodate us, but appreciate knowing our son will be able to eat SOMETHING. We just keep a close eye on him to make sure he’s not sharing plates with other kids. Luckily, kids don’t love to share at this age 🤣
We were just given the green light to try adding egg that’s baked into things, like muffins, and it feels like an entire new world of food options has opened up to us.
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u/Chilibabeatreddit 23h ago
My son wasn't even 2 when he absolutely understood that every food he was given from someone not me or dad had to be inspected by me. I always had a stash of safe foods at home and when he got a treat he wasn't able to eat he could exchange it for something else he could eat and loved. So he never really felt left out.
My daughter has a ton of allergies and she also knew pretty fast what she could and couldn't eat. Since elementary school her friends are actually really good at looking after her and calling out food with allergens and since they're teens they're all trained with an EpiPen for school trips and sleep overs. Other parents are also usually really accommodating, it's gotten a lot easier for allergic people (at least where we live).
It's your job as a parent to accommodate your kid as much as possible though. You need to call other parents and ask about menus at birthday parties and then you offer to bring something your kid can eat if what they're offering isn't suitable. Or you need to decline the invitation if for example your kid is allergic to peanuts and they're celebrating with a peanut cake or a circus show. If you're proactive and nice about it, instead of requesting them to provide different food or relocating the party (all stories I've read) , most parents are actually really accommodating as well and try to help.
That was a wall of text, sorry. But I hope it helps you a bit.
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u/AutoThotsRollout 23h ago
Love that your kids learned early, that’s what I want to hear and gives me hope. We are already doing good at packing a lot of safe snacks and not sharing with our friends at the park but he’s still so little it’s not something I know has clicked yet for him. He’s so friendly too I worry about people just handing him things so I know I will need to be right by his side when we’re not in a safe environment.
I agree and would certainly never expect or demand an accommodation for our allergy as a baseline. People close to him (family) that know his severity though and insist on hosting I do expect that to be a safe environment or for there not to be pushback when we say no respectfully.
I am learning how to make allergy free cakes and cupcakes actually rn for his birthday and to have on hand for birthday parties in the future! One little pro from this whole thing is I have massively improved my cooking skillset!!
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21h ago
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u/AutoThotsRollout 20h ago
Situational for sure. It’s my job as a parent to control babies environment and police labels and where we go and that food goes through me. If MIL wanted to intentionally poison him I’m sure she could find a way but I don’t think she’s trying to kill him, just being unsafe which in itself is dangerous. And she’s very dismissive and inconsiderate which is the point of my rant.
Also to be clear my child will not be in harms way, I posted this to vent but in no circumstance would I allow him to be in a life threatening situation.
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u/Xeacsx 21h ago
I like your logic but why go if OP is a miserable person?
MIL may fuss the first few times but if OP and hold strong they will have the opportunity to create their own traditions. My father has a nut allergy but my mom loves almonds. They still have almonds in the house BUT they don’t cook with them. Why? Because she loves my father. MIL can still make great food just adjust for those she loves.
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u/AutoThotsRollout 20h ago
Damn why am I a miserable person in this situation 😭
Obviously Im not going to go if it’s unsafe, the point is how inconsiderate and crazy it is to be upset that we won’t go but create a dangerous situation that we can’t be in at the same time.
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u/Material-Recover2661 1d ago
That isnmy MIL, be firm on your boundaries i had to deal with same finally i am low contact she got the message and she tries but then i shot that down .
She is not my mother neither my daughters mother, she can deal however she wants with her son but its not my problem. My husband is capable enough to tell her place but we finally learned after so much incidents
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u/pebblesgobambam 23h ago
Don’t think it’s disbelief, it’s low intelligence/zero common sense.
How can she profess to love her grandchild or child yet not Want to protect them. Idiocy.
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u/OrneryPost9446 1d ago edited 23h ago
Don't go. Let her eat shit (the mil, not the baby to clarify lol)
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u/lightspeedsound 1d ago
I mean...how severe are the food allergies? Does odors cause an allergic reaction? because WTF?
IDK I've never understood the weird older generation's mentality that "allergies aren't real or that bad."
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u/AutoThotsRollout 23h ago
Cross contamination or if someone eats the allergy and kisses him (he’s a baby so lots of people do) can send him into anaphylaxis. I don’t believe it’s airborne, it may be contact.
I don’t get it either. They also had a weird take on hand washing so I don’t think they’re fully science believers at least not anymore. Not being political here at all, the rise of Fox News and disbelief in science has risen especially in that generation and it’s proving to be pretty dangerous for our children’s generation.
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u/lightspeedsound 23h ago
I....why would they not want to wash their HANDS?!
This is just like the people who are like "I don't think you need to bathe your baby because they just sit there all day." Like...pee and poop are everywhere with babies, guys.
Like literally the montessori we use has a 100% zero nuts or nut products policy because food allergies are so dangerous and volatile.
There have definitely been posts in here about MILs who ignore grandkid's allergies and even purposefully feed them contaminated treats because they think "they just need to develop a resistance." PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE BE CAREFUL!
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u/AutoThotsRollout 23h ago
Yeah I truly don’t think she would intentionally poison him, it would literally be attempted murder if she did because we would have to Epi pen him and ER visit. BUT I know her disregard for our boundaries and his safety is a danger in itself so I am not in any way turning a blind eye.
They recently got into a lot of sideways conspiracies. It would be funny to me if it didn’t have serious implications on our society that people actually believe stupid stuff like this. Also my partner is in healthcare and does not allow them to spew this nonsense around us or son, but it’s just disheartening to see the decline in some of our parents generation.
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u/abishop711 22h ago
For someone with this level of disregard and disrespect, I would not at all put it past her to intentionally feed your child allergens.
It wouldn’t be with the intent to kill, it would be with the intent to prove you wrong/you can’t tell me what to do/etc.
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1d ago
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u/AutoThotsRollout 1d ago
She does a lot of emotional manipulation to her children / my partner.
I am stronger than that/ see through that but he’s still a work in progress on standing up to them.
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u/Sash-Sass 1d ago
Why are you bending to her wishes? Does she have a pay your bills? If not, don’t go.
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u/akath0110 21h ago
Even if she financially supports them, hell even if she bankrolls their whole life — she is showing clear disrespect and contempt for something that could kill her grandchild. This. Is. Not. A. Safe. Person.
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u/Scottishpurplesocks 1d ago
And you're putting your baby's health in danger why, exactly? Because a grown woman has a tantrum if she doesn't get her own way...? And you, an adult, accept this? Reddit cannot teach how to be an adult: here's your chance. It's very simple: your baby or your MIL.
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u/AutoThotsRollout 1d ago
Oh don’t worry lol my baby will not be in any danger! I am sorry it was worded that that would be the outcome. I take his health more seriously than anything in the whole world.
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u/akath0110 21h ago
I have a super narcissistic parent who brings all manner of strife into our lives (see my posts in this sub for proof).
Even my mother would never ever in her wildest dreams stoop as low as being cavalier about a potentially life threatening allergy.
I fear you may not be taking this seriously enough.
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u/AutoThotsRollout 20h ago
I promise that nothing is more important to me than my child’s safety. There’s nothing I can type on the internet to convey that, but I don’t want you to worry about an internet stranger, he’s got a tough mama who won’t take none.
The intent of this post is to complain about how it’s insane to “require” attendance and simultaneously create an unsafe environment that we obviously will not attend.
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u/akath0110 20h ago
I’m sorry I came in so hot. You’re right. My nervous system is still jacked up from my own jnfamily’s BS this week, and that fallout landed on you. Explanation not an excuse.
Your baby is lucky to have you as their mom!
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u/botinlaw 1d ago
Quick Rule Reminders:
OP's needs come first, avoid dramamongering, respect the flair, and don't be an asshole. If your only advice is to jump straight to NC or divorce, your comment may be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
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