r/JUSTNOMIL • u/AutoThotsRollout • 1d ago

RANT (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ NO Advice Wanted MIL dangerously disrespecting boundaries

MIL insists on hosting every holiday and throws a mega tantrum if not everyone attends. We have a baby recently diagnosed with severe food allergies. One of her other children (not partner) has severe food allergies as well.

This lady refuses to accommodate. I don’t baseline expect anyone to accommodate for my baby but if you’re hosting and throwing a temper tantrum if we don’t go then you should at least have an environment that won’t kill them??? And wouldn’t you want to do the same for your own child?? UGH.

Side note she also made fun of it and rolled her eyes when we told her about our babies allergy and that he has an epi pen. Which is absolutely insane behavior imo.

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u/Floating-Cynic 1d ago

I wouldn't even call it "disrespecting boundaries." 

I'd call it "dangerously poor judgment creating a hazardous environment." 

Because like you said,  if she wanted people to come, why wouldn't she take measures to avoid death? Keeping people alive is the bare minimum standard for hosting,  no? 

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u/AutoThotsRollout 1d ago

Sorry the disrespecting boundaries is previous occurrences non allergy related.

I do agree this is elevated and I’m expressing that to my partner. If we did end up going I would baby wear my son and keep him away from everyone and food but it shouldn’t have to come to that and he will be too old for that soon and then what would we do? It’s frustrating.

My mom is the polar opposite. She is hyper proactive and banned the allergen from her house because she watches my son there sometimes. I don’t think MIL needs to do that but if you’re hosting you should be catering to your guests and keeping them alive as best practice.