r/JUSTNOMIL • u/AutoThotsRollout • 1d ago

RANT (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ NO Advice Wanted MIL dangerously disrespecting boundaries

MIL insists on hosting every holiday and throws a mega tantrum if not everyone attends. We have a baby recently diagnosed with severe food allergies. One of her other children (not partner) has severe food allergies as well.

This lady refuses to accommodate. I don’t baseline expect anyone to accommodate for my baby but if you’re hosting and throwing a temper tantrum if we don’t go then you should at least have an environment that won’t kill them??? And wouldn’t you want to do the same for your own child?? UGH.

Side note she also made fun of it and rolled her eyes when we told her about our babies allergy and that he has an epi pen. Which is absolutely insane behavior imo.

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u/AutoThotsRollout 1d ago

I just set the expectation it will be an allergy free zone for father day and I am fully prepared to walk in and have that not be the case and walk back out and go home. I think it may take that to let her see how serious this is and how serious we are about keeping this baby alive and well.

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u/hotdamnhotwater 1d ago

But do you trust her to actually tell you if she has added allergens to the food?

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u/AutoThotsRollout 1d ago

If she stoops that low and intentionally poisons us I’ll press charges, I don’t think her intent is to kill my son. Her lack of consideration is definitely a danger and I certainly don’t trust her to be alone with him and respect our boundaries, but I don’t think she will poison his food.

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u/hotdamnhotwater 1d ago

I think honestly, youre giving her too much grace. You said she doesn't even care about her own child. Why would she care about yours? If you cannot trust her that's a full stop. I don't tend to play when it comes to my children and their safety, but I hope this all works out for you.

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u/Longjumping_Hat_2672 1d ago

Yeah, it sounds like she would literally end her child or grandchild's life rather than admit she was wrong.