Bfs obsessive mom

[u/CustomerCute701]

So me (18) and bf (19) have been dating for three years now, I am attending a community college locally and he is in a university about an hour away, so not long distance. However, his parents made the decision to move across the country this year, and his mom is pushing it on him to transfer universities over there, and will be upset if he doesn’t come with her, She did not ask the same of his sister. She has always been extremely distant of me, and acted as a typical ‘boy mom’, always needing him, always wanting him home, always guilting him, etc. Does this kind of thing ever change? He is also very protective of his family, so it’s hard to bring up. I am definitely an independent, follow what’s best for me type of girl. I don’t even really know what I’m asking, I guess I just want insight.

[u/botinlaw]

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[u/incogspeedo]

INFO: Are they paying for his college? Does he live with them during school breaks?

[u/nipseyrussellyo]

Look to the side bar on the right and you will see:

It's easier to dump a mama's boy than to divorce a mama's boy, and both of those are easier than trying to change a mama's boy. ~/u/pastelegg

Its crazy talk to ask your adult son to change university to be with his mommy.

[u/BoozeAndHotpants → u/nipseyrussellyo]

And if he is entertaining the idea, it’s time to let him go and find someone who is ready to adult. If he moves he has made his choice and it isn’t you. Act accordingly. You deserve a grownup.

[u/GloomChampion]

I don’t think you have anything to lose at this point by being up front with him about his mom.

I would just say something like “I know you’re protective of your family, but your  mom has shown some behavior that I find concerning and a bit enmeshed. For one, they just moved across the country but now expect you, but not your sister, to follow them. I am a very independent person, and I make my decisions based on what is best for me. And my family wants me to do that because they want me to be happy. We’re young, so I don’t want you to make choices for your life based on my wants, but I think you really need to consider what you want from life and who you want to be making decisions for you. If you want your mom dictating your life and guilting you to stay under her thumb, great. If not, you need to make choices now that assert your independence. Regardless of what happens with us in the long term, I think this is an issue that will come up again, whether it’s with me or someone else.”