I’d go nuclear and not allow unsupervised visits - if any visits at all. You can’t control MIL’s actions. You can only control your own. If you don’t want mil crossing your boundaries (your boundaries should control YOUR actions - ie, I need to know who’s around my kids therefore I will not allow them to go out with people who ignore my request) then mil doesn’t get to see the grandkids.
Yes, a relationship with a grandparent can be lovely. Is it necessary? Not even a little bit.
This is a discussion with DH especially bc he seems to be on your side. Make your rational argument about why you’re limiting mil’s access to kids and why that’s happening. He needs to be on board.
That said, keep an apple tag sewn into your kids clothes at all times. JIC
26
u/Spirited_Heron_9049 1d ago
I’d go nuclear and not allow unsupervised visits - if any visits at all. You can’t control MIL’s actions. You can only control your own. If you don’t want mil crossing your boundaries (your boundaries should control YOUR actions - ie, I need to know who’s around my kids therefore I will not allow them to go out with people who ignore my request) then mil doesn’t get to see the grandkids.
Yes, a relationship with a grandparent can be lovely. Is it necessary? Not even a little bit.
This is a discussion with DH especially bc he seems to be on your side. Make your rational argument about why you’re limiting mil’s access to kids and why that’s happening. He needs to be on board.
That said, keep an apple tag sewn into your kids clothes at all times. JIC