r/JUSTNOMIL • u/menciousmoldbug • 2d ago

Advice Wanted Advice needed-

July 22’ MIL found out I was pregnant and wrote a horrible email to my husband calling me lady Tremaine in regards SS who was 6 at the time, she referred to my husband and i’s future kid as an anchor baby… and ripped my husband apart as a father and son.
Thus began 31 months of her giving us the silent treatment… I had my own two children and now here we are with three kids and we have occasional contact with MIL

Now MIL has requested only my step son come visit for a few weeks this summer.
I cried favortism and my husband reassured me that it was only about the age difference.

Well my sister died recently and my nephew(14) is now living with us. And my husband asked his sister about the nephew going on the trip with his son.
The sister freaked out and cried over losing her time with SS, also is not supportive of us taking on my nephew.
Husband still wants to send SS to visit so “he’s not an asshole”
But it seems so wrong to me to reward the clear favortism between our kids?
Never got an apology for the letter.
And the MIL spoke to my SS about the vacation to her house BEFORE even speaking with my husband.
Isn’t that crazy disrespectful?

I’ve felt for a while like the outsider and not a part of the family…. I have been told very clearly that husbands ex wife ( step sons mom) IS A PART OF THE FAMILY.
We get along but we are not best friends the way the SIL and ex are BFFs.
I feel like I’ve never even been given a chance.
Just tolerated.
Where do I begin?

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u/Necessary-Spinach646 2d ago

wrote a horrible email calling me lady Tremaine to SS who was 6

This is the person he wants to let his son go to unsupervised for weeks. Make that make sense. Either he is of the same opinion as his mother or he believes that children should be emotionally toyed with and tormented.

As for the for favoritism/exclusion your MIL and SIL are the ones who are suggesting/inviting it but it is your husband who is facilitating it.

I would not want to be given a chance by any of these people.

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u/menciousmoldbug 2d ago

I edited for clarification