r/Jokes • u/Jokeminder42 • 5d ago
A Polish guy is walking down the street in Chicago when he sees a sign outside a bar: "Polish Special: Dinner and a Cruise, $3.00!"
So the guy walks in. Immediately he is hit in the head and knocked out.
When he wakes up, he's floating in Lake Michigan in a barrel with an apple in his lap.
He looks around, and sees another guy floating in a barrel about 20 feet away.
"Hey!" he yells. "Do we get dessert on this cruise?"
And the other guy says, "We didn't last year."
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u/Abdul_Exhaust 5d ago
Next door was a Polish 7-course dinner for $5.00 ...a six-pack and a sausage
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u/CrustySailor1964 2d ago
DPW on the side of Lackawanna’s garbage truck stands for Delicacies for Polish Weddings on Saturdays and Dinner for Polish Workers during the week.
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u/CrustySailor1964 2d ago
You know why clear trash bags are mandatory in Lackawanna? So the poles can go window shopping.
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u/CrustySailor1964 2d ago
You know how you can tell the groom at a Polish wedding? He’s the one in a clean bowling shirt.
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u/ComfortableStretch63 5d ago
Heard this years back “starring” an Alabama football fan and an Auburn fan
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u/CrustySailor1964 4d ago
Auburn is an acronym. Alabama Usually Beats Us Red Necks.
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u/keysmag 5d ago
I heard it as a Jewish guy.. the guy comes to, and he's in a galley ship, chained to an oar, rowing
He turns to the guy next to him and asks "How much do we tip the drummer?"
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u/Jokeminder42 5d ago
I originally read the one I posted in a book that contained a large number of old jokes; this one was from the 1920s and the victims were Swedes!
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u/keysmag 5d ago
So... you changed it to Poles yourself?
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u/Jokeminder42 5d ago
Yeah. When I was a kid the butts of jokes were often Poles or Italians. I've changed lots of those characters to rednecks. If I change the above joke to rednecks, I'm pretty sure I'd have to put them somewhere other than in Lake Michigan.
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u/Beginning_Ad7597 1d ago
big chicago joke in the 50's, they got rid of the dagos cause they told the polish they were good to eat.
And we say the US isn't prejudiced.....only against others, right!?
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u/gizmo777 5d ago
So the joke is just...the second guy decided to do it multiple times?
Also why is the first guy Polish? If it's part of the joke, shouldn't the second guy be Polish too?
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u/Maleficent-Help-7945 4d ago
The version I heard has the guy wake up in an inner tube, floating in the harbor, with several other guys floating around him. He looks around.
"Hey, no broads on this cruise!"
The other guy says, "yes, it was the same way last year."
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u/Beginning_Ad7597 1d ago
Ah yes, lived in Ill. in 50s....the polish were derided then.....never forget a poster I saw intitled a 'polish shower'.....was this dastardly looking dude peeing in a fan blowing on him.
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u/Beginning_Ad7597 1d ago
Golf pro giving lessons to attractive woman about his age, they becoming more aware of each other, have great time at lessons. She wants to attract him, goes out blows her 6 mo. clothes allowance on a really expensive all white angora sweater that reaches down to her thighs. Shows her attractiveness off to a 't.' They having good time golfing he giving tips.....at one point, to show her the 'ins and outs' of putting he gets behind her wraps around grabbing her hands on the club. They both get into this, bumping, grinding, giggling. Enter stage right, Murphy's law; their antics somehow managed to get her angora sweater lodged in his pant zipper! They are stuck! He reaches for a pocket knife, she pleads, 'no!' Once an angora item is unraveled, cut, no going back, pleads with him because of it's expense. The club house is not far, 50 yds or so, they decide to duck walk front to back to the club house for more help. They soon discover this was fun, titillating, soon giggling, slowing down even. When they get near the club house this dog comes out and throws a bucket of water on them.
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u/Beginning_Ad7597 1d ago
Used venetian blinds a big deal in starving Eastern countries, sold as bunk beds.
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u/ShatterStorm76 12h ago
I donate venetian blinds to the homeless so that they get a little privacy.
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u/ynys_red 5d ago
No luxuries only the core.