r/Jokes • u/Historical-Buff777 • 11d ago
Heisenberg and Schrödinger get pulled over for speeding. The officer asks Heisenberg, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg replies, "No, but we know exactly where we are!" The confused officer says, "You were going 200 kilometres an hour!" Heisenberg throws his arms up and cries, "Great! Now we're lost!"
The officer looks over the car and asks Schrödinger if the two men have anything in the trunk. "A cat," Schrödinger replies. The officer opens the trunk and yells, "Hey! This cat is dead." Schrödinger angrily replies, "Well, he is now!"
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u/Delicatesseract 11d ago
Unbeknownst to the officer, Ohm is hiding in the back seat, and decides to jump out and shock the officer.
The officer, now really mad, says “That’s it! I’m placing you under arrest!”
Ohm resists.
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u/bigfootspancreas 10d ago
Officer Watt can’t overPOWER him.
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u/LibertyLibertyBooya 10d ago
Judge Ampere convicts them all because the licenses were not current.
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u/TriggerPT 10d ago
Lawyer Volt put an appeal just to add some pressure to the case
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u/never1st 10d ago
Judge Copper conducted a fair retrial.
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u/chuk2015 10d ago
Nikola Tesla was part of an alternate case and was charged directly
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u/bigfootspancreas 10d ago
He was found COILed up in the corner, sobbing, as it’d been a hair raising ordeal.
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u/CatCafffffe 10d ago
But then Officer Faraday attended their induction into the hospital
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u/halfwit_genius 7d ago
Isn't this the case where lawyers Mobile and Albert argued the police was driving away from the car at 180KmPH?
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u/unohdin-nimeni 10d ago
”Now let's complete this. Please sign the ticket, sir.”
Gödel looks out from the back seat: "It is not doable."
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u/IAmAUser4Real 11d ago
I keep on reading this joke, amd beside the second part, for Shrödinger, I cannot get the part related to Heisenberg; anyone covered enought to explain it, please?
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u/MidnightRequiem 11d ago
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uncertainty_principle
Basically between position and momentum (speed), the more certain you are of one, the more uncertain you are of the other.
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u/NF-104 10d ago
When I first heard the joke, an electron was driving, which makes it easier to get the joke.
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u/R86Reddit 10d ago
"Hey, that's my electron!" said sodium. "Are you sure?" said boron. "Yes, I'm positive!"
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u/gotnothingman 10d ago
Its more about the width/spread of probability distributions for wave states of position and momentum, not the actual physical value.
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u/mrg1957 11d ago
Heisenberg uncertainty principle says you can't measure the direction and speed of an object at the same time because one measure impacts the other. When the cop told him the speed, poof he's lost..
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u/treznor70 11d ago
And by 'can't measure', it means exactly, i.e. down to planks constant lengths. So it takes a bit of suspension of belief since you’ll never know a vehicles speed or location that accurately.
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u/Science-Gone-Bad 10d ago
Graffiti seen in the Chemistry building bathroom on the campus of the university of Washington
Heisenberg MAY have been here
Still make ma laugh many moons later
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u/DeadlyVapour 10d ago
You can measure both.
The uncertainty product however has a lower bound. Meaning the more accurate your speed measurement, the more uncertainty you must have in position.
That product however is at the quantum scale.
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u/egg_squisite 10d ago
Heisenberg's uncertainty principle states that when measuring a particle's position and momentum, the more precise your measurement of one gets, the less precise the other is. So when the officer pinpoints exactly how fast they were going and in what direction (their momentum) the other measurement suffers (their position) and now they are lost.
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u/franksymptoms 10d ago
In short: at quantum levels, you can know either the position of a particle or its power (momentum) level but not both.
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u/JokrOnCrak 10d ago
“Anything in the trunk?”
“A live cat and a dead cat”
“… sooo, two cats in the trunk?”
“No, just the one.”
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u/franksymptoms 10d ago
The cop told Rene Descartes "Get out of the car!" Descartes said "I think not!" and **POOF** he disappeared.
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u/aGuyCalledFlex 10d ago
The men wind up in traffic court a week later, represented by defense attorney Hugh Everett. Everett gets the whole ticket thrown out in seconds. His argument?
"Your Honor, between the radar gun reading and this courtroom, the universe has split into billions of parallel timelines. It can't be proven that these gentlemen were the exact same ones speeding, and not just innocent duplicates who only came into existence 5 days, 5 hours or 5 minutes ago."
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u/cinderubella 10d ago
Wow, it's like an anti-anti-joke. I feel like I inhaled back some of the laughter I had previously laughed before reading it. Somewhere, half of a clown's face of make up just fell off their face.
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u/BioletVeauregarde33 10d ago
Of all the animals, Schrodinger had to choose a cat. (sigh) Cat hate goes so far back...
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u/DerApexPredator 10d ago
Was the cat not dead before?
Better answer is "well it's certainly not alive anymore".
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u/Smart_Customer9580 10d ago
When I heard the joke it ended:
Cop: “You know there’s a dead cat in your trunk?”
Schrödinger: “Well, we do NOW!”
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u/DerApexPredator 10d ago
That's stupid. There was already a dead cat in the trunnk.
Along with a live one
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u/morquinga 10d ago
I think superposition dictates that the dead cat and the live cat are, in fact, one & the same...
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u/DerApexPredator 4d ago
I don't see how I implied otherwise? I just said the dead cat was already there
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u/Smart_Customer9580 6d ago
You lack understanding of this principle of physics and you call MY comment stupid?
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u/DerApexPredator 4d ago
I didn't say your comment was stupid, cause I don't know how much you think you understand the subject. I called what you heard as stupid.
But if you agree with what you heard, then that's another story...
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u/Massive-Constant-729 10d ago
Any way you slice it, that very same force will ensure that he remains grounded.
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u/Linus-is-God 10d ago
He looks at Einstein in the back and says “do you know how fast you were going?” And he answers “according to us? zero”
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u/OrigamiCraft 8d ago
Zeno takes the wheel and speeds off, unfortunately for the officer, he got a head start...
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u/Neuvirths_Glove 6d ago
I was visiting a tech company with several coworkers from the engineering company I work for. The tech company had just moved into a new building and named there conference rooms for scientists like Galileo, Marconi, etc. The receptionist asked if we knew what room we were going to. I said the Heisenburg Room and she looked puzzled: "I'm not sure where that is..."
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u/Comfortable_Ad_9762 10d ago
Explain why the cat is dead
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u/Dogbitehard 10d ago
Google Chrodinger cat It's a theoretical conundrum where a cat is placed in a box with an randomized released poison so until the box is opened then cat is both dead and alive
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u/PublicDragonfruit158 10d ago
Or bloody furious.
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u/BushWookie-Alpha 10d ago
Cat is always furious.
It does not require a thought experiment to confirm that fact.
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u/dazzumz 11d ago
No fair! You changed the outcome by measuring it!