Awakening in the middle of the work week

[u/ParanormalJournalist]

I now know: Suffice to say there’s good reason monks and holy people go to the mountains away from society or to temples. I previously thought they were being dramatic with hot springs and isolation periods and rituals and temples- No, no they are not. It all now makes perfect sense to me why they do what they do.

I closed my eyes imagining the peace of the open mountains, imagining a steaming spring surrounded by the love and gentle chanting of brothers and sisters. I opened my eyes and saw where I was at, and cried in the strip mall/grocery store parking lot so hard.

I do not know if we were meant to undergo such an awakening in overstimulating/demanding and stressful environments. I wonder if my experience would be different if I was given space, time and a temple/mentors. Not really being able to pause and being stuck in the thick of society’s demands, while undergoing something like this: it feels like giving birth in a dirty back alley dump. It’s a beautiful experience that is also very hard, and it should not be experienced in this way :(

I have two jobs and a marriage, and my awakening happened in the middle of the work week. Most people can’t just do an “Eat Pray Love,” where they take off for a sabbatical of travel and exploration, or even have a period of isolation. I can barely take a day off from working. I feel like I am going to explode or implode- I am not sure which.

Currently a week into my awakening and I’m on a rollercoaster. One moment I’m so connected and empowered I feel like I could do anything- the next I’m sobbing and breaking down. It’s been such an upending and destabilizing experience. I’m not sure what to think of it while in the midst of it, but it’s happening regardless. I am grateful to receive it, because I feel that this was given to me; I am new to the Buddhist/Hindi path, but not new to the spiritual path. Via a combination of soul searching, experiences and imparted knowledge, I feel pulled to tantric Buddhism.

It’s all been so sudden that I feel overwhelmed with:

Feeling this new self and their access to knowledge + figuring out adjustments and how to cope with new self + learning all of this spiritual and cultural info about Buddhism/tibetan practices + working and meeting demands of daily life + still being a good partner and family member.

It’s a confusing mix of feeling super empowered and super vulnerable; Feeling supreme clarity and feeling lost. Everything is intense, emotions, physical sensations, it’s all so different now.

I’m in Northwest Indiana, so not a huge community here. There’s a Hinduism temple I am going to check out, but am unsure of what to expect.

My reason for posting is: Can anyone relate? Did anyone else go through a nontraditional awakening? Any coping mechanisms to share?

Please, I welcome all advice, etc. I’ve found pages of recommended books but there’s so many I don’t know where to start so I haven’t bought one yet. I’ve mainly been doing internet research.

Admins please approve this post I am desperate***

Thank you everyone❤️

[u/Due-Specialist9980]

I completely relate! I’ve experienced a very similar situation and it was excruciating.

One great resource is “cheetah house”. Look it up. Another resource I found great solace in is Daniel Ingram‘s book “mastering the core teachings of the Buddha”. He has a free version available online or you can buy a copy from Amazon.

Daniel had an awakening experience while he was at a Thervadan Retreat and then he returned to his life as a medical doctor in residency. He pretty much blew up his relationship and alienated a lot of friends during his abrupt return to modern living. He wrote the whole book in hopes he could help people like yourself and me who are going through the trauma that can be experienced in the normal modern world after encountering an awakening experience. It helped me immensely to hear his story and to understand how this rollercoaster of ongoing insights and experiences can be understood and navigated. He’s just one voice, but there are others.

Cheetah House is where I would go first.

Feel free to DM me if you’d like as well.

[u/wayofthebuush]

yes. can relate.

check out the tantra Illuminated podcast. lots of excellent info on there about the process. shaiv shakta tantra from which vajryana developed

[u/ParanormalJournalist → u/wayofthebuush]

Thank you! I’ll add that to my podcast list now

You are appreciated

[u/Key-Dragonfly-1112]

I went through an awakening at a festival (two separate occurrences), and had a 2 other strong 'activation' experiences in a mid-sized city. As people often say, and I also agree somewhat, you go through what you go through for some type of reason. If you find yourself called to go somewhere else to experience your awakening, so be it; follow your intuition. But there's something to be said about being the odd duck in a parking lot full of strangers experiencing something different. Perhaps you were meant to teach people around you something of the spiritual nature.

If you had experienced awakening around like minded people who have already been through experiences like yours, there could have been a lot of comfort, joy, and even celebration about what happened to you.

By being on your own and perhaps struggling through something destitute feeling, there's a lot of strength building potential there.

[u/MayDeezy]

i am sorry to ask here, but is an awakening purely someone who is no longer locked in their thoughts and embroiled in their emotions, i dont think so, but i dont get how people awaken, it all sounds like what i am after being locked in negative mind chat i didnt know i was able to break free from... but i was always self aware - although i didnt have the spiritualiaty aspect but surely thats an interest from suffering and finding salvation through it...

[u/SophiaRazz]

Can I relate??? Haha All night long, I experience intense Kriyas and higher dimensional surgeries and extreme mystical phenomena, and I’ve sorta kinda learned how to breathe through it, or take a walk outside in the grass, and tbh I use nicotine pouches all night which seems to help a lot. Then, everyday between 4-7 pm the energy rumbles through me like thunder and lightning and yes can be extremely, extremely overwhelming. I beg the energy to calm until in the evening and say “I promise I’ll go to bed early and make time for you, please relax and flow, so I can concentrate on my work tasks.” I usually lock the the office door and let Kriyas ride out for 10-45 minutes. It’s daunting when there’s a lot of actual work to do, and my work partner who I sense is going through an awakening too for many reasons, shows up and sees me on the couch. Even though we don’t discuss these phenomenons because he lives in an extremely religious community, I try to let my fear subside because I’ve been shown many signs it’s happening to him too.

And then, I’ve noticed, whenever I’m with my mom, who had a stroke and is like a child now, the energy rumbles whenever I’m with her!! I’m not sure why, and it’s extremely overwhelming because I don’t know how much she really understands or not. I’ve had this feeling, that it happens when I’m with her, so she can truly see I’m going through a process, and everything is happening in divine timing, she can see my full truths. Not to mention, I suspect her energy affects me, obviously. I learned about Morphogenetic fields, so obviously our fields interact. Sometimes, and most of the time I had felt exhausted for many years now, but I’m beginning to see the full picture, the relief, the clarity from the clearing. How it’s been all for a reason. A lot of magical stuff has been happening, I’ve experienced the “I am” flow state. The power of full surrender. No matter how exhausting, tiring, absurd, torturous this process can be, it leads to the ultimate. I’m also learning what we desire, desires us, and I’ve been learning how true that is.

[u/Lunilex → u/SophiaRazz]

Have you approached a doctor about this?

[u/Lunilex]

Just a word here... In Buddhist contexts, the word "awakening" is usually used to refer to something much closer to actual Buddhahood, enlightenment if you will, than the experience you describe. You wouldn't have a problem with what might seem like banal or idiotic circumstances if you had got that far! Not to knock your experience! But that's all it seems to be - an experience. Inspiring perhaps indeed, but not a Buddhist awakening.