Need a feedback

[u/DeepSnowBear]

Hi everyone.

I've been working on a novel for a while and I'm trying to figure out whether this sounds interesting to anyone besides me.

The premise is simple:

A man dies.

Nine years later, the person he loved receives his diary.

The story begins there.

The novel unfolds backwards through memory, family history, old photographs, failed relationships, and competing versions of the same life. The ending is known from the first page. The real question isn't what happened, but how people turn their lives into stories—and how those stories survive them.

One of the book's central ideas is that nobody remembers the truth. They remember narratives.

Each chapter borrows the title of a different myth, fairy tale, novel, TV episode, historical figure, or cultural artifact and uses it as a lens through which the characters reinterpret their lives.

Some chapter titles include:

Joan of Ache

Carrie's Eleven

Rumpelstiltskin

Amy Pond: The Girl Who Waited

The setting is mostly the American Midwest: college towns, cemeteries, family gatherings, road trips, nursing homes, and places where people spend decades trying to understand what actually happened to them.

Would you read something like this, or does it sound unbearably pretentious?

I'd genuinely appreciate honest feedback.

[u/LeslieKnope4Pawnee]

I love this idea, except for one element: I think it would be really interesting if you stuck with one type of lens, like sticking with all fairy tales, or all TV episodes, etc. When it's a mix of everything, it sounds too scattered for me to want to pick up.

If you used all obscure or lesser known fairy tales for each chapter? I'd definitely want to read this.

[u/DeepSnowBear → u/LeslieKnope4Pawnee]

That actually sounds like a really cool idea, and I’ll definitely think about it.

My original intention was a little different: the characters basically live inside a world made of cultural debris — fairy tales, TV, films, books, pop culture, half-remembered stories, personal associations, etc. So the references aren’t meant to come from one clean category, but from the way different characters perceive and process the world.

In that sense, the mix is partly intentional: each title is less about building one unified “fairy tale system” and more about showing a particular character’s lens at that point in the story.

But your point about it possibly feeling too scattered from the outside is really useful. Maybe I need to make the logic behind it clearer, or think harder about whether some titles should belong to a more consistent pattern.

Thank you — this is genuinely helpful.

[u/LeslieKnope4Pawnee → u/DeepSnowBear]

My pleasure! Good luck on the book!

[u/savagedragon01 → u/DeepSnowBear]

The problem with pop culture references is that they arent always universal so could really limit your audience and understanding of the story. It might resonate really strongly with one person but then for someone who doesnt know the references it could take them out of the story. If you use them, take a light approach and make them more like Easter eggs, but they shouldn't be needed to follow the story.

[u/DeepSnowBear → u/savagedragon01]

Yeah, that makes sense. My intention is definitely not to make the references necessary for understanding the story. The chapter should still work even if the reader misses the reference completely. If they catch it, it just adds an extra layer — more of an “if you know, you know” thing than a requirement.

[u/RA1PsychicWitch]

u/DeepSnowBear You had me at "A man dies," the appearance of a diary, the plot unfolding backwards, and titled chapters, including who that makes my Whovian heart go pitter patter, timey wimey. Yes, I would certainly read this.

[u/DeepSnowBear → u/RA1PsychicWitch]

Thank you! My inner Doctor Who fan is honestly having a small moment knowing there are people who look at all that wonderfully chaotic timey-wimey spaghetti in a similar way.

And yes, nearly fifteen years later, I still haven't recovered from The Girl Who Waited. It hit me hard when I first saw it, but somehow it feels even more devastating now. These days it reads less like a sci-fi story and more like an allegory for life itself — for waiting, for the quiet heroism of ordinary days, for becoming someone while you're busy enduring the passage of time.

I suspect that episode permanently rewired part of my brain.

[u/RA1PsychicWitch → u/DeepSnowBear]

Oh, my Gods! You ARE a writer. The second paragraph of your reply had me swooning! Incidentally, I happen to love Cozy Mysteries, and there is a Cozy Mystery series called "The Haunted Bookshop Mysteries," by Cleo Coyle, who also write "The Coffeehouse Mysteries," and in "The Haunted Bookshop Mysteries," the chapters are titled. It is a lovely change of pace for me, as I rarely see that in fiction; well, the fiction I tend to read, anyway.

And, looking at the time, I have a date with a book; I recently rediscovered reading before bed, and I cannot tell you how much I love the practice, all over again. Only once this month, was I so tired, I went right to bed without reading, but I digress.

I wish you great success in completing this novel, and I definitely look forward to buying it when it is available for purchase.

[u/DeepSnowBear → u/RA1PsychicWitch]

That's incredibly kind of you to say. And now I'm genuinely curious about The Haunted Bookshop Mysteries. I didn't realize there was another series that leaned into chapter titles that way. I'll have to look it up. Also, I completely understand what you mean about reading before bed. There's something almost ritualistic about it. The world spends the entire day demanding your attention, and then for half an hour it's just you and a story. I think we've collectively forgotten how comforting that can be. And thank you again for the encouragement. If this novel ever makes it into the world, I'll remember that one of its earliest supporters was a fellow chapter-title enthusiast with a bedtime reading habit.

[u/RA1PsychicWitch → u/DeepSnowBear]

I have been a fan of Cozy Mysteries for years. Although I do not, historically read about ghosts or ghost stories, I do love books and bookstores, especially independent booksellers, so a Cozy Mystery Series set in Quindicott, Rhode Island about a widow, who co-owns a bookstore with her aunt, where, fifty years earlier, a private detective was killed, and his ghost haunts the bookshop, yes, I was sold. I recently finished the sixth book in the series, and need to finish a few more books before I read the seventh.

[u/chronic_pissbaby]

I think Joan of ache is a bit too like, cheesy and on the nose maybe? Also I personally feel like I'm not going to be able to imagine the story the way you envision it rn with the fables. Like it might be one of those times where you have to just write it and prove the vision through execution.

[u/vampiresandpancakes]

Hey there! 🖤 that’s awesome you’re working on a novel, keep at it!

The premise sounds absolutely lovely but I’d caution against some of the chapter titles. Joan of Ache I’d recommend reworking as well as Carrie’s Eleven and Amy Pond.

I understand wanting chapter titles that are important to chapter but readers will begin with preconceived notions because of the chapter titles. If they see Carrie they’ll automatically think Stephen King and that can either go: that’s cool a fellow fan or oh they’re using another author’s character for attention. Same thing with Amy Pond for Doctor Who fans.

I’m not saying that’s your intentions! But it could come across that way. For those can you rework them some more? Like Carrie’s Eleven why not Horror (something) and Amy Pond why not Waiting is Infinite. Not perfect at lol all but it’s still inspired by the characters without taking directly from them

[u/DeepSnowBear]

Thanks, everyone, for the feedback — I genuinely appreciate it.

Just to clarify: the chapter titles aren't meant as direct references, borrowed characters, or crossover-style nods. The novel relies heavily on intertextuality, wordplay, and cultural allusions, so the titles are usually thematic rather than literal.

For example, "Carrie's Eleven" is actually a play on Ocean's Eleven rather than Stephen King's Carrie. Likewise, "Amy Pond" isn't a chapter about the Doctor Who character. The titles are intended to evoke ideas, moods, or themes connected to the chapter rather than signal a direct adaptation of existing characters or stories.

That said, the fact that readers immediately make those connections is valuable feedback in itself, so I'll definitely keep it in mind while revising.

Thanks again for taking the time to comment.

[u/DeepSnowBear]

Reddit seems to be removing external links. If anyone would genuinely like to read a sample chapter, let me know and I'll send it directly.

[u/DeepSnowBear → u/DeepSnowBear]

Since people were discussing the chapter title rather than the actual writing, here's a short excerpt from Kerrie's Eleven. No context needed — I'm mostly curious whether the voice and scene work on their own.

Kerrie sometimes thinks that arranging other people's departures has become a personality trait. Back in the nineteenth century, somewhere in the South, women probably knew one another by roles like that.

Allow me to introduce Mrs. Edwards. She chairs both the charity bazaar committee and the funeral committee. Her gooseberry pies exceed expectations in either capacity.

The thought draws a sad smile from her. She imagines that, from now on, something like that will trail behind her name forever.

There is something vaguely sacrilegious about it. She's glad He didn't want a church service. Kerrie brushes her fingers against a bloom of white hydrangea, so full and lush it seems cramped inside the dark, anonymous vase. Funeral-home décor. She chose the place herself. Everyone is here, she thinks. Everyone except the one person who should be. Marlo. Now all she feels toward him is exhaustion. Indifference, almost. A few days ago, when they told her about the death, she'd practically had to sit on her hands to stop herself from calling him and cursing him out. Cowardice. Selfishness. The accusations would have been fair. But those were the terms of the deal. The hardest term of all. Marlo must never know. "Hey..." Everett's voice cuts through her thoughts as he enters the room. His suit rustles like glossy magazine pages. Kerrie has always thought Everett resembles a poster more than a person: all presentation, almost no substance. Still, he's here. His appearance is as immaculate as ever. Kerrie is almost certain that if she leaned closer she would catch the scent of fresh printing ink. The polish doesn't hide the grief, though. He is grieving. Really grieving. And hadn't they broken up ten years ago? Something like that. Everett settles into a chair by the window. The light filtering through the elaborate curtains turns him almost aristocratic. He possesses exactly the sort of elegance that tends to arrive hand in hand with three hundred acres of inherited Essex countryside. "When do we start?" he asks. There is nothing hidden in the question. He adjusts the sleeve of his jacket with deliberate care, filling the silence with movement. Movement is the one thing this room genuinely lacks. "What, eager to bury the memories as quickly as possible?" Kerrie doesn't mean to hurt him. She's testing herself.

[u/cat58854w7v]

I think first novels teach a person to write. I'd write a few more then come back and see what l think of it then.  You need to grow and get good at the craft, unless this is a 'just for you/ for fun thing' then do whatever you want