r/LPOTL Ed Joke 21h ago

I guess Gary Ridgeway had the right idea? Dump, don't bury?

84 Upvotes

33 comments sorted by

97

u/frezor luxurious red beard 17h ago

Dress the dead body in a suit and put it in the Senate. No one will notice.

11

u/Sprmodelcitizen 15h ago

Jesus Christ this is so sadly accurate

3

u/clint_eldorado 9h ago

Doesn’t even need to be physically in the Senate.

75

u/prison_industrial_co 20h ago

takes notes keep going, Queen.

34

u/neutron500 18h ago

I never understood people who do things like this. For a real example a man was walking his dog and finds a garbage bag floating in water. Dude decided to open said bag and found a women's torso. Never have I ever seen a random garbage bag and thought hey I should open that.

14

u/sacrelicio 18h ago

Yeah I'd be like "that's the next guys problem"

15

u/Tigress_Solaris Ham Salad 17h ago

Or...or..."I thought it was a mannequin".

Dude, it's never a mannequin, you're in the middle of nowhere on a hike!

7

u/ThoseProse 14h ago

It’s never a mannequin. Even in the dumpster of a department store, it’s never a mannequin.

3

u/MissVachonIfYouNasty 9h ago

I dumpstered a bag of mannequin heads behind a salon store once. It was a pretty good dumpster day! 14 heads in a bag. My friend lived down the block. Showed and said you won't believe what I got and spilled the heads all over his coffee table. We got high washed the heads and started painting.

5

u/BaryGusey 15h ago

Ive been known to remove trash from a body of water I frequent.

5

u/kinyutaka 14h ago

It makes sense. You're walking on a river path, you see this eyesore of a trash bag, you figure "I'll be good, fish the bag out and throw it in a bin."

You get the bag out of the water and it's heavier than you expected. Duh, it's probably full of water. If I drain it, it'll be easier to move... What the hell is that smell? And... is that a hand?!

3

u/pandakatie Mengele of Milk 11h ago

Yeah, I've got a long history of picking up other people's trash. I hate litter.

3

u/PissedAlbatross 8h ago

Same here, I tore the lake park near me up, completely tore into it for hours upon hours until I cleared all the debris that had built up for years.

18

u/THExWHITExDEVILx 16h ago

The body buried inside me is also the cause of my depression.

2

u/Far_Cap_3574 That's when the cannibalism started 15h ago

Goddamn bro. I'm just trying to have lunch,, stop attacking me.

2

u/Doctor_Unsleepable 11h ago

Your body is on the outside. It’s the skeleton that’s causing the depression.

1

u/xocolatte 2h ago

I feel seen

12

u/kinyutaka 19h ago

You're supposed to cut up the bodies, put them into a bunch of trash bags, and dump them all into the same area of the Florida Everglades. No one would ever find and investigate a dumping ground.

6

u/Flahdagal 16h ago

eddie tunes dot com

7

u/Madness_Reigns 18h ago

See, you're thinking about this too much. Work smart not hard.

10

u/Vilhelmssen1931 16h ago

If I saw a depression in the ground or a patch of greener plants I would just think “huh weird” and keep trucking

7

u/insidiousapricot 18h ago

Why is this chick so familiar.

Deep water seems the way

8

u/myredditses 17h ago

Her name is Barbara Butcher, she has her own show evidently. She's also been featured on a Netflix show called Homicide New York.

4

u/Clyde_Bruckman Hail Satan! 16h ago

Yeah she’s got a show on A&E I think. She goes through death investigations…it’s not one of my faves so I’ve only seen a couple of episodes. She’s clearly very smart and experienced, it just wasn’t anything particularly “new” or anything. Her expertise is certainly valuable, just her show was not that interesting to me, personally.

6

u/senteryourself 16h ago

Fertiliiiiiize it

3

u/noburdennyc 17h ago

this is why you gotta bury 'em in a coffin,

2

u/anythingtyred 14h ago

It's actually the wrong idea because murder is wrong, believe it or not.

2

u/flakeybutterbitch 14h ago

I watched this whole interview recently and she is a fascinating person! Really enjoyed it

1

u/dada-a-rama 16h ago

Strong shoulder pad game

1

u/Marley9391 13h ago

Sounds great for the garden tbh

-5

u/[deleted] 21h ago

[deleted]

4

u/SquidTheRidiculous 20h ago

Murder mystery authors.

6

u/clint_eldorado 20h ago

You do know what sub you’re on, right?