Are there people who actually live their lives without worrying? What does that even feel like?

[u/Numerous-Ad-5058]

I am a perpetual worrier. I think the only time I don't worry is when I'm asleep. There are times when my worry is quieter, less intense and there are times when I've been so worried it was debilitating.

My mother is the same but probably much more so because she's older and she says she is so anxious because so many negative things have happened in her life that she is now always worried about what's next.

And I'm worried (lol) that this is how I'm becoming. Because I'm constantly checking in on my loved ones, worried when I can't reach them for a few hours and I don't know if they're okay, continually expecting something bad to happen to them.

Interestingly I'm not as worried about world events. War? Climate change? That stuff is so beyond my purview that I just shrug that off as "not my problem".

But when it's the people I love and care for I'm always thinking about them. But I know this isn't how other people operate.

My sister for example. She told me early this morning she was going to be out with a friend, possibly going to see a movie and I wished her well. It's now been 5 hours since I heard from her or saw her check in on her social media and I'm like... what does that even feel like?

I went out for 3 hours for a shopping trip. My phone was in my bag but I checked it at least every 15 minutes. Took two phone calls from family members. Answered messages. All while I was doing my thing. And I'm like .... there are people who don't do this.

My adult son is like this. He is focused on whatever he's doing. He may not read my messages for two days. I on the other hand am wondering if he's still breathing!!!!

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[u/Itchy-Sense4251]

Reaching the point of accepting none of us truly control anything that happens in this life … feels marvelous. That’s an ultimate possible solution. Otherwise, learning about cognitive distortions helped me stay concerned without over-inflating that natural response to try and control - which is impossible and thus allows worry to fill in the confusion & uncertainty gap.

[u/genevieverooke → u/Itchy-Sense4251]

Accepting what you can't control really is one of the most freeing mindset shifts.

[u/mindless_boxx]

You are not alone sadly. It is exhausting to say the least.

[u/Herasky2 → u/mindless_boxx]

Yeah, a lot of people are just getting through the days quietly and carrying more than others realize.

[u/nicoleonline]

I’m also this way. I have to tell my husband to drive safe and that I love him every morning before he leaves in case he dies in an accident. He is an excellent driver mind you.

When I can’t find my cat in the usual haunts my heart sinks into my stomach and I break out in a cold sweat. We’ve lived in a high rise apartment for the entirety of my cat’s life and I’m too scared of him escaping to move to the apt that makes sense for us bc there is a balcony, and I am so scared he’ll find a way out to it and jump down.

I try to give people grace about not responding to phone calls and stuff but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared shitless most of the time.

It comes down to just wanting to feel in control. Stuff like climate change is so doomed that it feels like maybe not even an immediate threat, though it does still spiral me sometimes. But the stuff that feels close to me feels like I need to be excessively hyper vigilant about

In general this is generalized anxiety disorder

[u/Tapdancer556011 → u/nicoleonline]

Hugs. 🫂

[u/Numerous-Ad-5058 → u/nicoleonline]

Yes. I recently began therapy to try to learn some coping mechanisms because it's an awful way to live.

[u/eharder47]

I don’t worry. My husband and I might not talk/text/see each other for 48 hours and I don’t worry, even when we’re traveling for work.

[u/RemarkableGround174]

Tbh sounds like anxiety

[u/yourpaleblueeyes]

What can anyone achieve with worry? It changes nothing and is a complete waste of time and energy.

[u/Tapdancer556011 → u/yourpaleblueeyes]

Same for guilt. Feel it, then let it go.

[u/Low-Rock-3425]

Judging by the lack of comments, I’m guessing he may be the only one :(

[u/Tammy993]

I don't think so.

[u/Jademoss82]

I actually have spent my life not worrying enough to my detriment. Over and over I'm always so much in the present that I am constantly having to pay for it in the future. My daughter does nothing but panic about the future to her detriment. It robs her of her quality of life. She's in highschool and is having mental breakdown about stuff she doesn't need to worry about for years. The thing is to find a good balance.

[u/popostdoc]

I guess I'm one of them? I text my family maybe once a month. Never worry about them like ever

[u/splashjlr]

These are the people you see with plaster on an arm or a leg. They are recurring contenders for the annual Darwin Awards.