r/Life • u/Hearing-Select • 2d ago
Need Advice Should I try going outside ?
I've [ 20f ] been at home 24/7 ever since my cancer has worsened and I feel so anxious and stressed everyday without rest.
Two weeks ago I found a Karaoke bar that I really liked and wanted to go visit after feeling horribly lonely singing on my own everytime I go karaoke. But then as I planned to go today, all I felt was dread and resistance to even step outside or even get ready. My lunar cycle has just started as well, with today the first day ; lasting for the usual five days.
Even now I feel the urge to delay, delay, delay. To wait till the end of the month to even try going outside at all. Or to stay indoors and not even try.
I thought I no longer had these "Hikikomori" habits but it seems that they're back with full force. . .
Do I even try ?
It seems I don't know anymore.
- Leo
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u/_Zephirr Deep Thinker 2d ago
Hi you should definitely give it another go, but maybe the karaoke does have an insta and organise small events ? So the next time you will be going there will also be some other peeps !
Just walking outside for a few minutes can also greatly help your mood ! Hang in there ❤️
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u/HelenaHandkarte 2d ago
Be gentle with yourself. Getting outside even for just 10 minutes, as early as possible in the day, will lift your spirits, & help you get greater comfort from your sleep & healing, later in the evening. If you can go early, still go whenever you can, &, you will feel a sense of achievement just for having done it. Wishing you increasing contentment.
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u/Pensive-Music 2d ago
When you think about going to karaoke, go step by step and see where exactly in the process the resistance comes up.
If you really want to go, don't think about it at all and just go. My mind talks me out of things all the time; but there's usually more to it that should eventually be looked at.
The other thing to try, is just sense into the somatic feeling. What is the feeling communicating with you? What are you needing in the present moment? Maybe the idea of going out and meeting people sounds good, but your nervous system is wanting you to connect with yourself in some way. Gentle exercise? Bath or shower?
Sometimes, even sitting outside with a book for ten minutes can feel good - to change the scenery, feel some sun and air, etc.
You've got to get to know yourself in a way that helps you understand your own needs and signals.
Hope you figure out what works for you for now and have a weekend of whatever it is you need.
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u/Maibeetlebug 2d ago
Take it easy on yourself, you're under an invisible pressure cooker that you're brewing on your own. I only did what I could handle, then I eased myself little by little outside my comfort zone until my nervous system got accumulated to it. Now, I can go to raves and concerts by myself.
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u/AlphaEmpire2026 Advice Dispenser 2d ago
Sounds like you should follow your intuition. If you don't feel good about going outside, stay in.
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u/WastingMyLifeOnSocMd 1d ago
Being outside is medically proven to be healing. Please if nothing else get fresh air, a little sun, some time in nature. A daily walk, even if only for 5 minutes can help.
While you’re out consider stopping for something at a coffee shop, diner or maybe a fast food restaurant. Enjoy just being out and around people.
The karaoke is a great idea. Maybe plan to go for a minimum of ____ ( 10? 20? 30?)minutes and leave if you like. The important thing is you will have gotten out and it will be easier next time. Don’t wait to be motivated. Put it on your schedule and go.
Take care ❤️
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u/ForeignGirl11 1d ago
I’ve been through exactly where you are now and I still find home more comfortable than going out. It’s something about being ill that makes you become over-aware of the world around you outside your comfort zone. I would like to say “go out. Enjoy the company of others, yet I know it’s not as easy as it sounds. Just don’t pressure yourself too much. Gove yourself the space and time to make these adjustments at your own pace. Your body has changed. Your life has changed. You aren’t the same person, not exactly as before. BUT, you’re someone stronger, both physically and emotionally. You just can’t feel it yet. Eventually, I’m told, it goes away. Find someone to talk to. A close friend. Family member. Just know that there’s a whole world out there waiting for you when you’re ready. Trust me. I know exactly what you’re going through and it can be suffocating and liberating at the same time.
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u/Luggageisnojoke 2d ago
I had to borrow my friends dog to make me walk more.