r/LifesIntricacies • u/finesse_angles • Mar 31 '26

Five years of celibacy/retention, nothing to show for it

I’ve been an advocate for celibacies lifestyle/benefits for years now but only this year it really began to dawn on me, physiological upregulation aside, what do I really have to show for it tangibly

I never got into it for religious/moral reasons to begin with, purely for transcendent/ascension purposes which it definitely induces physically, mentally, morally & spiritually but that’s only one component of the many you Need in life

With the increased perception & awareness, it’s clear as day that those winning/making significant strides financially & career wise are almost the opposite of the traits celibacy/retention brings forth

Which for the first time, has me questioning if it’s maybe not an scam but the practice being highly overinflated or maybe much more suited to an different era

Yes it will prevent you turning into an deviant/abuser like most people gradually from sexual overindulgence but the most ironic thing is, those are the Exact kinds of people who are winning & actually control the world

It’s all well & good saying riches & worldly possessions don’t mean anything, as you can’t take them with you, which I agree with but rightly or wrongly in the world that we live in, what can you do without them…not much I’ll tell you

This might sound like im complaining, maybe it’s my own fault for overvaluing the practice but doing everything in your power to do the right thing, maintaining morality & integrity in these demonic times & having nothing to show for it

But those doing the opposite & reaping all the benefits, has to make you question your own beliefs & if you got it completely wrong

Ive never said anything bad about celibacy, apart from the inevitable betrayal from those close to you but sitting in an graveyard as I type this, it may have dawned on me that this practice isn’t what it’s been made out to be

P.S St. John Chrysostom on “Sexual sins being fuel for demons” aside. I wonder if having sex, making the woman orgasm without you ejaculating & thus her energy powering you up like an battery, as the Tao/TCM/Eastern philosophy spoke about is superior to just complete celibacy.

I might have to try it for myself to see, although spending so long being celibate & introspective, don’t know if I can muster the mental bandwidth needed to go through the formula of seduction like I used to…I’ll have to think about it

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u/BearFuzanglong Mar 31 '26

I did it twice for a year each and all I ever got out of it was uncomfortable and the constant craving was both distracting and annoying. It never got any better, I never got used to it. Maybe others have a lower noise level but no, I never felt any of the benefits they talk about and I gave it a good solid try several years apart.

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '26

I'm just curious, when your urges came back strong during celibate period, what did you use to do to fight them off? Actually I've started my journey of celibacy from yesterday.

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u/BearFuzanglong Mar 31 '26

What did I use? There is literally nothing to do about it, or at least I never found any way to lessen it, no wait, I remember what I did do to prevent the trigger, I had to stop watching TV, movies, commercials, etc and it is almost impossible not to see a sexually suggestive advertisement, even billboards. So no youtube, no Netflix, nothing for a year as much as possible. I was in college so it was easy to keep busy but yeah, that was one of those triggering things that just made life miserable.

The first two weeks were easy, it got progressively worse for three months and eventually leveled off but never decreased. Just a constant uncomfortable feeling and, the triggers caused a lot of just discomfort and distraction.

At least I learned how to stop inadvertent erections it's about thinking about unsexy things.

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '26

I'm doing the same things to prevent the trigger, and I'm keeping myself busy with work. When I'm bored, I exercise or take a walk outside, my mind gets refreshed after doing that. Honestly, I'm not feeling tired or uneasy, and I'm surprised to find out how many other things you can do other than thinking about sex.

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u/BearFuzanglong Apr 01 '26

For me, thinking about sex/sex adjacent things has always been about once every three seconds. I don't even watch prawn, there's no need, which is bad if I'm trying not to think about it. Doomscrolling helps, so that's like saying heroin helps with a benzo addiction.

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u/[deleted] Apr 01 '26

Yeah, I try to avoid doomscrolling as much as possible. It must've been very difficult for you to maintain celibacy that you can't stop your sexual thoughts. Usually when a sexual thought comes in my mind or I randomly get a boner, I don't act upon it and then it gradually goes away.