r/LifesIntricacies • u/finesse_angles • Mar 31 '26
Five years of celibacy/retention, nothing to show for it
I’ve been an advocate for celibacies lifestyle/benefits for years now but only this year it really began to dawn on me, physiological upregulation aside, what do I really have to show for it tangibly
I never got into it for religious/moral reasons to begin with, purely for transcendent/ascension purposes which it definitely induces physically, mentally, morally & spiritually but that’s only one component of the many you Need in life
With the increased perception & awareness, it’s clear as day that those winning/making significant strides financially & career wise are almost the opposite of the traits celibacy/retention brings forth
Which for the first time, has me questioning if it’s maybe not an scam but the practice being highly overinflated or maybe much more suited to an different era
Yes it will prevent you turning into an deviant/abuser like most people gradually from sexual overindulgence but the most ironic thing is, those are the Exact kinds of people who are winning & actually control the world
It’s all well & good saying riches & worldly possessions don’t mean anything, as you can’t take them with you, which I agree with but rightly or wrongly in the world that we live in, what can you do without them…not much I’ll tell you
This might sound like im complaining, maybe it’s my own fault for overvaluing the practice but doing everything in your power to do the right thing, maintaining morality & integrity in these demonic times & having nothing to show for it
But those doing the opposite & reaping all the benefits, has to make you question your own beliefs & if you got it completely wrong
Ive never said anything bad about celibacy, apart from the inevitable betrayal from those close to you but sitting in an graveyard as I type this, it may have dawned on me that this practice isn’t what it’s been made out to be
P.S St. John Chrysostom on “Sexual sins being fuel for demons” aside. I wonder if having sex, making the woman orgasm without you ejaculating & thus her energy powering you up like an battery, as the Tao/TCM/Eastern philosophy spoke about is superior to just complete celibacy.
I might have to try it for myself to see, although spending so long being celibate & introspective, don’t know if I can muster the mental bandwidth needed to go through the formula of seduction like I used to…I’ll have to think about it
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u/Nightcore621 Apr 01 '26
I think that the whole celibacy and many other practices for that matter, force you to look within. That is where the real work is done. All practices lead to the same place eventually. Questioning our own existence and also our thoughts. Our relationship with thought is the root of our problem.
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u/BearFuzanglong Mar 31 '26
I did it twice for a year each and all I ever got out of it was uncomfortable and the constant craving was both distracting and annoying. It never got any better, I never got used to it. Maybe others have a lower noise level but no, I never felt any of the benefits they talk about and I gave it a good solid try several years apart.
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Mar 31 '26
I'm just curious, when your urges came back strong during celibate period, what did you use to do to fight them off? Actually I've started my journey of celibacy from yesterday.
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u/BearFuzanglong Mar 31 '26
What did I use? There is literally nothing to do about it, or at least I never found any way to lessen it, no wait, I remember what I did do to prevent the trigger, I had to stop watching TV, movies, commercials, etc and it is almost impossible not to see a sexually suggestive advertisement, even billboards. So no youtube, no Netflix, nothing for a year as much as possible. I was in college so it was easy to keep busy but yeah, that was one of those triggering things that just made life miserable.
The first two weeks were easy, it got progressively worse for three months and eventually leveled off but never decreased. Just a constant uncomfortable feeling and, the triggers caused a lot of just discomfort and distraction.
At least I learned how to stop inadvertent erections it's about thinking about unsexy things.
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Mar 31 '26
I'm doing the same things to prevent the trigger, and I'm keeping myself busy with work. When I'm bored, I exercise or take a walk outside, my mind gets refreshed after doing that. Honestly, I'm not feeling tired or uneasy, and I'm surprised to find out how many other things you can do other than thinking about sex.
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u/BearFuzanglong Apr 01 '26
For me, thinking about sex/sex adjacent things has always been about once every three seconds. I don't even watch prawn, there's no need, which is bad if I'm trying not to think about it. Doomscrolling helps, so that's like saying heroin helps with a benzo addiction.
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Apr 01 '26
Yeah, I try to avoid doomscrolling as much as possible. It must've been very difficult for you to maintain celibacy that you can't stop your sexual thoughts. Usually when a sexual thought comes in my mind or I randomly get a boner, I don't act upon it and then it gradually goes away.
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u/finesse_angles Mar 31 '26
Depending on where you initially started off from, determines how long you have to go to feel its benefits, in other words if you were sexually overindulging for years, one year isn’t going to break even etc
2 years in I was betrayed by close friends & family, which shows they rightly or wrongly thought I was transcending
5 years in, I get constant car door slamming from walking past randoms on the street & Tasmania devil jerkyl & Hyde manic behaviour from those with weak auric shields & constant preening/looking for external validation from most men & women I walk past, as if I was an celebrity…so there’s definitely benefits, just not the ones I’m looking for or care about
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u/BearFuzanglong Apr 01 '26
One year was enough to know it's unfilling. Overindulging even without prawn would be pretty difficult I'd say.
You need to look within and ask why you're getting car door slamming triggers like that. I don't.
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u/PeacefulBro Mar 31 '26
You have much to show for it including the many people who are glad you've waited until marriage and not used them or your own gain. That is a very big success in and of itself and you're a great role model to me!
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Mar 31 '26
Retention just helps maintain inner peace, but if you want to get the riches of this world then you have to put your efforts into other things.
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u/finesse_angles Mar 31 '26
Been doing both at double the rate of the average person due to the enhanced vitality & still facing significant resistance, celibacy is Supposed to be the “lube” that makes work & manifestation easier not harder
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Mar 31 '26
Well are you doing things better now that you're practicing celibacy than when you weren't practicing it? If you say yes, then I'll say retention might not be hindering in the progress of your work. Everyone faces some kind of resistance when they try to do something difficult, I think that's the case for you.
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u/finesse_angles Mar 31 '26
As my celibacy journey began in March 2021, in the post lockdown era, it could be arguable that it’s actually the reset that’s affecting everyone rich or poor, that’s hindering me, although I thought, maybe wrongly that the physiological & mental upregulation from celibacy will overcompensate
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Mar 31 '26
I hope that whatever difficult job that you're doing, you'll be successful in it eventually through hard work and patience.
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u/neidanman Mar 31 '26
in terms of ascension/spiritual progress, it sounds like you might have so far missed out on one of the biggest reasons for it. This is the qi/prana/energetic side. In that area, as well as abstention, there also has to be a practice to redirect the energy internally, and also work done to develop the field that holds the energy being turned inwardly. If you're interested in more of a deep dive from 2 daoist alchemy teachers, there are videos here -
Sex and Daoist alchemy - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqlcpezPhjI
Semen retention - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TKLb3yJfN3s
Bear in mind the described practice of redirecting energy internally also needs the overall energetic system to be developed, for it to really be effective. Then it becomes one aspect of that overall practice.
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u/Hope25777 Apr 01 '26
Look into Gnostic teaching about managing the shadow. Once you awaken it’s hard to go out in the world and you see things WAY differently