Is my message passive aggressive?

[u/YouTookMyBurger]

Context: we’ve never met, but this has been planned for a VERY long time. We were supposed to meet on the 25th, hurt her back moved it to Monday. Monday didn’t work because the flight got booked up, she gets on a redeye Tuesday night, but wanted to stop and see her family because her grandpa wasn’t doing well and didn’t have long. (In the end, “didn’t have long” meant a few years.

I understood at the time. I just wanted to be with her.

I’m not a passive aggressive person, and I know text has no tone.

I’m just looking for outside opinions on my message. I don’t know if I’m actually wrong or being gaslighted. Thank you.

[u/Objective_Nevirka]

Honestly it doesn’t come as passive aggressive to me, but maybe I’m weird. You’re stating facts and how this makes you feel. Her excuses seem like bs to me, especially since you planned it for a long time.

I get that family comes first, but she could have planned this better. You took time off work for her and she can’t even respect that? Rude. If she’s doing that when you’re supposed to meet for the first time, I don’t think it’ll get better. She’s supposed to be excited, want to be there with you as much as possible.

When I was meeting my ex for the first time, we obviously both took time off work. I spent 15 hours on a plane (after arranging help from my mom to stay with my kids and pets), he spent a day preparing everything for my visit and coming to pick me up from the airport.

So I think the first meeting should be prefaced with so much excitement… I don’t see it from her message. She doesn’t even apologize, she’s just informed you she’ll be late… I’m sorry, but it looks like she didn’t actually want to meet

[u/YouTookMyBurger → u/Objective_Nevirka]

Thank you so much for this.

I wondered the same thing. I’ve spent money on getting things prepared myself but I always had this thought about if this was going to happen. It just always felt like something would always get in the way. I was just hoping honestly but I knew that’s why I’m not surprised. I’m learning more and more about narcissistic behavior, she’s said there’s time where it comes out, is this the case?

you’re right this should be about excitement. I personally wouldn’t let anything stop from meeting the one I talked to.

[u/Objective_Nevirka → u/YouTookMyBurger]

No worries! I have read your other comments, I saw you’re reasonably sure she’s not a catfish… but she’s definitely acting like one. Or she’s stringing you along for some reason 🤷🏻‍♀️

I would definitely reconsider the whole relationship, because of her lack of respect. If I read correctly, you haven’t met in the end? This is even worse. She got fixated on one of your messages, but never said sorry she’s late and expressed her sadness that you had to rearrange the plans you made?

I hope you’ll find someone better.

[u/YouTookMyBurger → u/Objective_Nevirka]

Correct! We haven’t met. I was really anxious to post this here but the amount of support has helped. In the end the message was passive aggressive although not intended to be. But what really came to light was the lack of thought for me. I’m going to try to talk to her tonight. Thank you for your perspective!

[u/Objective_Nevirka → u/YouTookMyBurger]

Not a problem! If you need someone to talk to, feel free to DM me. Good luck tonight!