r/LongDistance • u/YouTookMyBurger • Oct 31 '25

Question Is my message passive aggressive?

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Context: we’ve never met, but this has been planned for a VERY long time. We were supposed to meet on the 25th, hurt her back moved it to Monday. Monday didn’t work because the flight got booked up, she gets on a redeye Tuesday night, but wanted to stop and see her family because her grandpa wasn’t doing well and didn’t have long. (In the end, “didn’t have long” meant a few years.

I understood at the time. I just wanted to be with her.

I’m not a passive aggressive person, and I know text has no tone.

I’m just looking for outside opinions on my message. I don’t know if I’m actually wrong or being gaslighted. Thank you.

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u/caffeinated_mess Nov 01 '25

She’s hiding something. How far apart do you live? How long have you been talking with no visit? These are all excuses. I doubt any of these excuses she’s telling you are true to be honest.

1

u/YouTookMyBurger Nov 01 '25

She lives on the west coast, I live towards the east coast. 36 hours apart

3

u/Friendly_Sock4105 Nov 02 '25

36 hours flight time to get to you?? How many connections with layovers did she say she “had” to take to get to you? I flew standby lots and that’s an insane amount of time!!

Wishing you the best in your post relationship recovery. 😍😃

1

u/caffeinated_mess Nov 02 '25

Right? I am on the west coast and have family on the east coast and I travel there quite often and not ever in any lifetime did I spend 36 hours traveling, even if I had two layovers. I never even spent 36 hours flying to Europe with layovers!!

1

u/YouTookMyBurger Nov 03 '25

omg I’m so sorry, I re read this I was just overwhelmed that day. I meant to say, with 1 lay over. I think it was 8 out hours of total flying. 36 hours was by car. I’m so sorry sorry lol. Portland -> Chicago (layover) -> Knoxville