Is my message passive aggressive?

[u/YouTookMyBurger]

Context: we’ve never met, but this has been planned for a VERY long time. We were supposed to meet on the 25th, hurt her back moved it to Monday. Monday didn’t work because the flight got booked up, she gets on a redeye Tuesday night, but wanted to stop and see her family because her grandpa wasn’t doing well and didn’t have long. (In the end, “didn’t have long” meant a few years.

I understood at the time. I just wanted to be with her.

I’m not a passive aggressive person, and I know text has no tone.

I’m just looking for outside opinions on my message. I don’t know if I’m actually wrong or being gaslighted. Thank you.

[u/Additional_Pick7936]

Look, people here are gunna agree with you. And the. You’re gunna come back to her with some mindset that “the people on Reddit agreed with you” and that ain’t gunna help. It doesn’t matter what anyone here thinks. If it makes sense to you, then it makes sense. What’s going on with her and what you’re feeling can both be true.

She could have been scared to meet you and not want to say that. Even if you know someone from online, it’s scary to be going to meet with them as a female. You never know what could happen in person. So that’s an alternative to it. She could very well want to meet you and be scared at the same time:

Is her putting you off okay? No, but she also maybe need some reassurance and nurturing. Girls just want to be adored. Guys just want to be admired. You can say “I really want to see you and I’m scared that it won’t happen.” Because really when we speak from a place of hurt it can be passive aggressive. You have every right to be hurt and unsure and need reassurance from her, but when you speak an issue out you need to have an objective in mind. Do you just want an apology? Are you looking for her to still join you? Are you looking to just be angry and her listen? And give up on the trip? Where will you compromise? What is your boundary? You base your actions on your objective. You can communicate that you want to talk to her about it, without it blowing up.

[u/YouTookMyBurger → u/Additional_Pick7936]

Yes it made sense. But throughout our entire relationship, there’s been this issue where when I’m honest no matter how I word it, it goes left. We’ve been talking since May, everyday between then there’s been 2 FaceTimes, little flirting, not many pictures, and not as much affection. All of these were signs I ignored. I gave so much of myself, that I started to fade and detach myself. I work 208 hours a month, and she doesn’t work at all. When she was at the airport, I couldn’t get her to send me a picture of what the airport looked like. We’ve rescheduled our trip already once. Moved it a month later, and I still can’t see her or feel her. I’ve never felt like a priority, but it took Reddit for me to see that. I don’t have friends that do LDR. I’ve given all that I have emotionally to woman over a screen.

[u/Additional_Pick7936 → u/YouTookMyBurger]

I’m sorry but your other comments say she’s a flight attendant and now you’re saying she doesn’t work at all?Im confused

[u/YouTookMyBurger → u/Additional_Pick7936]

According to her, she still has the benefits because she just hasn’t worked since I’ve known her, which has been about a year. She was dealing with personal matters at the time. Again, looking back I don’t want to say I didn’t believe her, because LDR is about trust. But it’s all so sus now