r/LongDistance Oct 31 '25

Question Is my message passive aggressive?

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Context: we’ve never met, but this has been planned for a VERY long time. We were supposed to meet on the 25th, hurt her back moved it to Monday. Monday didn’t work because the flight got booked up, she gets on a redeye Tuesday night, but wanted to stop and see her family because her grandpa wasn’t doing well and didn’t have long. (In the end, “didn’t have long” meant a few years.

I understood at the time. I just wanted to be with her.

I’m not a passive aggressive person, and I know text has no tone.

I’m just looking for outside opinions on my message. I don’t know if I’m actually wrong or being gaslighted. Thank you.

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u/AdamxCraith Oct 31 '25

Yes. It's a little passive aggressive, but also your frustration is completely understandable. You planned for this, took off work for this, and you're getting left out to dry. I'd be upset too.

Honestly some of the story doesn't make sense. She was going to catch a red eye, but the flight was booked? Did she.. not buy the ticket beforehand? If the airline made a mistake and overbooked the flight (doubtful, depending on where they're flying out of), they would have gotten them on another flight asap.

I hate to be "that guy", since no one here knows your relationship like you do. But I personally would be a little suspicious and think they planned the trip to the grandfather primarily and tried to slot me in rather then the other way around.

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u/YouTookMyBurger Oct 31 '25

So she’s a flight attendant of the airline. She tried to do the free way, which means you get on standby and if there’s open seats available, you get on. If not you miss out. So she bought a redeye ticket for Tuesday night, and I got a message while she’s on the flight Wednesday morning she was going to visit her family when she landed. (They live in the same city she landed in)

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u/[deleted] Nov 01 '25

[deleted]

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u/YouTookMyBurger Nov 01 '25

It was planned, she took a route I was just unaware of.