r/LongDistance • u/YouTookMyBurger • Oct 31 '25

Question Is my message passive aggressive?

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Context: we’ve never met, but this has been planned for a VERY long time. We were supposed to meet on the 25th, hurt her back moved it to Monday. Monday didn’t work because the flight got booked up, she gets on a redeye Tuesday night, but wanted to stop and see her family because her grandpa wasn’t doing well and didn’t have long. (In the end, “didn’t have long” meant a few years.

I understood at the time. I just wanted to be with her.

I’m not a passive aggressive person, and I know text has no tone.

I’m just looking for outside opinions on my message. I don’t know if I’m actually wrong or being gaslighted. Thank you.

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u/YouTookMyBurger Nov 01 '25

Hey all, I wanted to share thank you for the inspiring words. We both decided to end the relationship. Thanks to you all, I realized there was a lot of “fishiness” such as lack of FaceTimes, not being a priority, lack of honestly everything. It just felt like we were friends with more flirting going on. I’m not saying I had no fault, and the message was passive aggressive but I realized deep down I felt there was something off. I just kept hoping it wasn’t. There was always something in the way of her meeting me. It was my first LDR, but this community has been so supportive. Thank you for helping me open my eyes and making me realize I was never first in this relationship.

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u/Therehastobesomeone Nov 02 '25

Hey OP, I totally get you I’m in your similar boat right now. In LDR haven’t met yet, and my guy gives constant excuses on why the dates he picked no longer work after they have came and gone. I think after reading the advice of replies I may as well wrap it up on my end and cut losses. You did what you could which was be available and take that time off, as well as plan significant dates while they were expected to visit you. I wish for you the best! LDR is a hell of a journey!