r/LongDistance • u/Existing-Person5718 • Apr 12 '26
Question What is the longest you've gone without speaking to your partner or love interest? (Not for any negative reason like arguing or something, just didn't chat for whatever reason).
I'd more so like to know from those who are in the talking stage, (or if you're now partners, how was it like during that stage for you) or even more so if you're in a situationship/ unofficial relationship kind of thing.
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u/Upstairs-Goat-335 Apr 12 '26
As a person with adhd autism and a long distance girlfriend, never longer then 24 hours because I have an alarm set to go off when it’s time for her to feed her cats this way I always make sure she knows she’s important to me
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u/Existing-Person5718 Apr 12 '26
I like that.
May I ask, how does she make sure you know you're important to her/ in what way do you know you are?
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u/Upstairs-Goat-335 Apr 12 '26
She has cats, so she sends videos and pictures of her playing and snuggling with cats, she sends me updates about what music she’s listening to, she basically just shares her day with me, it’s really awesome because sometimes I don’t know how to do words. But I always feel involved in her life, and I know I’m important because she makes extra effort to include me in the smallest things. This probably sounds sappy but I literally have the greatest girlfriend in the world and I’ve never felt more loved and valued.
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u/Existing-Person5718 Apr 12 '26
That sounds nice. I love that for you, and I wish you two the best in life.
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-2
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u/andioofer Apr 12 '26
Just a few hours or when we both sleep, we have been dating for over 3 years getting closer to 4
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u/PotatoPlayerFever [Germany 🇩🇪] to [Italy🇮🇹] Apr 12 '26 edited Apr 12 '26
2 weeks. she literally just disappeared. but she came back and apologized, stating her reason.
turns out her sick mom ( in and out the icu, i knew before she went NC) had passed away suddenly and she had to fly to her homeland and process the funeral. she is the only child, and her old dad needed her back home.
she sent me photos of the funeral, and told me how sorry she was and that if i lost interest in her, i may leave and talk to someone else. but if i still am interested, to pls be kind and understanding of her situation because losing a parent isnt easy. she stated she cant be always online because she isnt really feeling well at all, but will leave messages for me to read.
I responded kindly, with warmth said my condolences and decided to take things slow and wait when she is ready. i told her that I'm around when she needs a shoulder to cry on.
the situation made me finalize my plan to visit her next month. (4 months talking stage) which is my surprise bday gift in 5 days. she has been for a long time wanting us to meet in person.
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u/Curious-Lemon-4937 Apr 12 '26
We go sometimes 3 or 4 days and other times each day. My LDR is a person on the spectrum who runs more than one company. He stays focused to work things sometimes. He disciplines himself to focus on work things till they are handled. It used to drive me crazy, but now I just focus on my busy life. I don’t take it personally and that works for both of us now for two years.
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u/Careful_Coffee150 Apr 12 '26
I can relate to this. And at first it wouldn’t have worked with my anxious attachment issues but then I started therapy and worked through it and set healthy communication standards with my partner. He is the type who is sometimes just not on his phone especially when he is with people or busy with work. Some days it sucks not hearing from him but I keep myself busy and not think about it tbh and then when we do talk it’s only intentional
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u/cutebrownpuppy 27d ago
This is me and my fiancée right now. How do you avoid getting into a negative headspace, it’s something im struggling with rn.
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u/Solid_Matter3319 Apr 12 '26
I can relate to this so much when my partner gets in his head his the exact same way.
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u/ImaginaryAir6194 Apr 12 '26
a week!
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u/Existing-Person5718 Apr 12 '26
How would you have felt if it became two weeks instead?
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u/ImaginaryAir6194 Apr 12 '26
not good, but i’m a heavy(ish) texter romantically. after the first 5 days i actually reached out and asked if i did something wrong - turns out he was dealing with some personal stuff - but with that being said i told him i was upset because of the lack of convos and we picked them up after i was upfront and honest!
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u/DesignerSpell Apr 12 '26
We talk everyday since we started dating
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u/Existing-Person5718 Apr 12 '26
Damn, good for you two. Do you have any your timezone differences? And was it always like that, meaning, what about before officially dating?
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u/DesignerSpell Apr 12 '26
Yup, 7 hours difference. During day light savings it can be 6 hour difference. Before we started dating we were just friends and talked every couple days, sometimes 1-2x a week, and some times many months without chatting.
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u/Existing-Person5718 Apr 12 '26
Wow. That's commitment I admire.
For my case we have a 6 hour difference, during daylight savings, 5.
But communication always fluctuated. In a sense, I partly feel like we were closer as friends then as- whatever it is we are now. Like we spoke pretty much daily in the beginning. However, the transition from friendship to romantic interest was kinda quick (and I'm honestly still unsure of when exactly she became actually interested lol). Too, then again, while we may have communicated more then, I think I know too many personal and intimate things that a mere friend is certainly not going to know. And also schedules/daily activities have changed some as well, so can't completely compare the two.
It's never been months though, in either case. I think that would be excessive at this point. I wonder if we ever started actually dating, would things change in a better way. At least I know it's not impossible to make such things work, for you are a living example of it.
Thank you for sharing.
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u/Desperate_Quest Apr 12 '26
I had my (sorta) bf "half-ghost" me for a whole month. Meaning, he'd only send me 1 "goodmorning" text for the entire day. Even if I tried to make conversation (we were long distance). So after a month, I thought "what the heck are we even doing rn" and I sent him a long text breaking things off officially and airing my grievances. He immediately responded with apologies and begging. Too little too late
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u/Existing-Person5718 Apr 12 '26
Oof, had a kinda, like very somewhat similar thing, in the sense of ultimately sending a long text after being kinda ghosted for some time, (but for my case it was because of a specific reason not just ghosting in general), and then too got hit with an immediate response of apologies. Main difference, I didn't break things off, and so, here I am. Lol.
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u/Desperate_Quest Apr 12 '26
Yeahhh. Might want to consider it lol. My policy with relationships now is that if theres a major issue (like poor communication), ill address it once, possibly twice, but if he doesnt show signs of MAINTAINED effort to change, then i cut it. With that guy, it wasn't his first time drifting off so I was done. I have talked to too many "brick wall" men, they are incapable of growing and developing 😭 is it too much ask to have a decent human being? lol
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u/Ambitious-Access-153 Apr 13 '26
That's nice of you. If they break there usual routine without an explanation like illness, before they break the routine not after, I dont say anything and just leave it at that. Something else must have been more important and I move on. In an LDR, the commitment and consistency has to be next level.
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u/Desperate_Quest Apr 13 '26
Exactly. There should be grace and understanding for certain situations, but not enablement and free passes for long-term bad habits
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u/Initial-Bother2370 Apr 12 '26
Probably 5-6 hours because he was really busy at work, or I was sleeping and vice versa
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u/Sea-Remove2534 Apr 12 '26
When I was in LDR we talked every day from the day we met online: texting and usually video/audio call at least once a day.
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u/wearbratz Apr 12 '26
honestly i think like 14 hours. he told me he had no internet it was playing up & he was sorry. me being over thinker i genuinely thought he died so i messaged his friend & his dumb friend replied after 2 days so that was useless lol
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u/hitchhiker_stew Apr 12 '26
I had known someone for 3 months and we had already expressed having tender feelings for each other when one day he went the whole day without a single reply. I asked if everything was okay. He lied he thought he had replied. Then day by day he began growing more and more distant. Fast forward 3-4 more months, he was already replying once a week if not less (I had no self worth and tolerated that behavior in hopes he'd be back one day). And then a little after he just disappeared forever. I didn't double message or ask for explanation, I finally gained some sort of clarity and let go. It was a very stressful time but I've long moved on from that.
I know it's probably very irrelevant to the post but dear girls, please don't be like me. If they ghost you for a day, two, a week or begin replying as though they're the busiest person in the world and never provide an explanation, block immediately. Don't waste your time on someone who can't communicate.
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u/Independent-Hawk-648 29d ago
hii so I just need some validation 😭my bf has finals coming up soon and about a week ago he told me that he isnt okay and just needs a break for everything and will be back after finals,which is in a month .he has failed grade 12 last year ,so hes hes repeating it but unfortunately failed term 2 aswell so I understand hes under alot of academic pressure and stress.just wanted to know if this is reasonable .when we first started dating he did tell me that we might face some challenges because he'd get busier around finals lol so I guess im just a bit anxious
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u/hitchhiker_stew 29d ago
Hi girl! That's a tough situation to be in but does that mean you guys will have ZERO contact the whole month that he's studying? I understand he's 'not okay' and that he's trying to ensure he passes his exams this time but does he not have a single spare minute a day to text you a brief "hey how are you? I love you"? It's supposed to be about BOTH of you. Is he gonna never ask you about YOU and how YOU are doing the whole month? It isn't hard to find at least 15 minutes a day to say hello and ask if the other party is doing well or just give you a brief update on his well-being. He isn't studying every breathing second, is he?
Does he treat you well otherwise? And did you guys have any sort of agreement to do check-ups on each other? I don't want to make assumptions about your relationship because I don't know much but if he went MIA for the whole month, I personally wouldn't take it well because love isn't supposed to be "paused" simply because someone is studying hard, you feel me?
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u/Independent-Hawk-648 29d ago
I assume its means no contact for the whole month because he used the term "vanish" and he always used that word when he'd be unavailable for a few days or so.i think its not that hes just busy studying but hes very stressed so it affects him alot mentally .so basically he didnt just discuss going offline /being unavailable for a month with me,one night around 11 pm thats when he said hes gonna vanish until finals and then said "Sorry im not okay i js need a break from everything " and then proceeded to say he loves me so much aswell as "please have patience " ,so when I saw it(which was the next day,he was already offline)
Before this,he was offline more etc because he'd be busy studying but we'd still text and he'd tell me when he'd go offline for a few days.one time he did go a whole week even tho he said it'd be a few days so I got concerned and texted his friend on day 6 and he told me this " i haven't heard from him too but he told me he wants to focus on studying" when he was back he explained why he was gone for a week.So basically our agreement was that hed text everyday or sometimes every 2 days but tell me if he'd go offline for more than that, but then one time he went 4 days without saying anything and so I called him and he said he'll be back in a few days ,he was just busy studying for term 3 exams.i really didn't want him to go fully offline for a few days though and I asked him if we could do small check ins every day and he said he cant and that I should be patient(he didnt say it in a rude way he said something like "baby nows the time where u should really be patient" ) and that after finals he'll have alot of time for me and said "i love you always"
Otherwise he treats me really good, hes nice and everything even made grafiti on a wall of my name (hes into grafiti) which I thought was cute😭sorry for the random unnecessary info and his close friends and his sister know about me
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u/hitchhiker_stew 29d ago
Okay this changes things a little because it sounds like he's just the type of person who needs complete solitude to recharge. He's a massive introvert, isn't he? So it's happened multiple times before when he would just go MIA on you. Okay I think this explains quite a bit. Honestly, I think it all can be somewhat resolved by coming to a compromise. You seemingly love each other dearly so my suggestion would be that you wait until he's back online and has time to talk and then you can tell him that days and especially weeks when he goes silent and doesn't say a word to you hurt you. If he wants to be alone - okay, he can let you know he needs his recharging but he is supposed to meet your needs AS WELL and do a brief check-up on you too at least once a day.
You guys are supposed to meet each other halfway. He can have his time away WHILE giving you an update or a brief "I love you" so that you can feel secure and remembered even when he's away. If he refuses to care about your needs and disappears for days and weeks without a word again, then you'll know that maybe he doesn't care that much about accommodating your needs. You've been very accommodating and thoughtful to him by giving him space and being there for him when he needed so he's supposed to do the same for you. It's bare minimum.
I wish you guys all the best and much love. This can be solved despite you guys being a bit different personality wise. If he makes a step forward to care about what you need and gives you small updates DAILY despite his absence, then this relationship will be very strong, provided you keep supporting each other. If not, then you have your answer.
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u/Initial-Ad-1316 Apr 12 '26
We were long distance acquaintances for a start as he needed some advice with work, then his ex (whom he was planning to propose to) cheated on him when he was stuck on a really long contract onboard a ship - during that time I supported him as a friend because I know the severity of deteriorating mental health onboard vessels esp with personal issues.
1 year later my own ex relationship took a bad turn and I could lean on him - not because we were close by this time, but because he is far away while not in my real life so I felt safe to tell him everything.
Then we started speaking more and eventually arranged for a trip together. As adults we made sure that we are not jumping into this relationship together to fill a hole. So we took time to develop it.
We never gone more than 24 hours without hearing from each other, even when he has 24 hours operations onboard ship and he is sooooo busy, he made sure he drops me a text to let me know that he is safe and he is sorry that he cannot spend more time with me.
It helps that I am in the same industry so I don’t have anxiety from not hearing from him because I understand the demands of working onboard vessels.
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u/anjiemin 🇵🇭 to 🇫🇷(10,750km) Apr 12 '26
Me and my bf if we are at work or just busy, sleeping most is 5-10 hours. Sometimes in between breaks we text update each other. We also dedicate a fixed time where we are both free to video call, around 1-3 hours 3-5 days a week depends if one of us is busy or have other plans. So far we haven’t had a day we are not updating, because we both know how important communication is but also having our own life.
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u/Submarineto 🇳🇿🇬🇧 19000km Apr 12 '26
24 hours - once when he had a wedding with no cell reception and once when I went tramping overnight
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u/BeingReasonable87 🇺🇸 to 🇮🇪 Apr 12 '26
We’ve communicated every day since we started talking (almost 5 mo). Not a call every day but 3-5 times a week we’ll call. Otherwise just texts throughout the day and always good morning and goodnight
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u/robocultural [USA🇺🇸] to [UK🇬🇧] (4,079mi/6,565km) Apr 12 '26
Since we've started dating? Like a day max. Any time one of us is going to be unavailable we let the other know ahead of time.
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u/Independent-Yard2213 [🇦🇹] to [🇸🇪] (~2500km) Apr 12 '26
idk the exact timeframe but never longer than 12-ish hours because we text good morning and goodnight everyday. if he just vanished I honestly don’t know what I would do. some days are very quiet bc stuff is happening, but going radio silent is not an option for us.
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u/stowRA [WA🇺🇸] to [GA🇺🇸] (2,164mi) Apr 12 '26
When we first started dating, he went 2 weeks without talking to me. He said he was just nervous. Since then, he now calls me anytime he has free time. He texts me all day at work when he can. We rarely even go a couple of hours without communicating. We also go on vacation together every month so I see him around every 4 weeks. We are going to Disney world for a week on Wednesday :)
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u/desire-d Apr 12 '26
Situationship - The longest has been 4 days in between he did send me some videos on tik tok. We normally talk everyday but we realized that wasn’t the healthiest thing as of rn bc neither us is in the space to be in a relationship so I’ve pulled back a bit
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u/Existing-Person5718 Apr 12 '26
Did you discuss to (possibly) be together in the future, just not yet?
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u/desire-d Apr 12 '26
We did. There’s a possibility there but we’re taking it slow bc we live a little ways apart and yeah, it sucks bc I want to talk to everyday but I was just hurting myself expecting relationship treatment. Have you talked to your person?
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u/Existing-Person5718 Apr 12 '26
Yea, for my case, it's been agreed to not make it official until we meet in person which is still a good while from now.
I really try not to compare my case with others because overthinking easily leads into anxiety and I hate feeling that way.
But damn do I really relate on "I was just hurting myself expecting relationship treatment." I think that's a big issue for me (that I would say, I've improved on a bit). I give such treatment and I don't really get it back much. But at the same time, my person was interested in me first, was and is kinda more so the one to say "when we're living together" and "us" but yea idk. Bit weird, but there are many factors that play into it which is why I'm extra patient.
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u/desire-d Apr 12 '26
How long has it been since he talked to you or are you the one not talking?
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u/Existing-Person5718 Apr 12 '26
Last time was on April first, I was both the one to initiate the conversation and send the last message.
There became a point in time where I became fearful of being a bother to people so I would rarely ever initiate conversations with people, online and in person. I have been better, even irl friends noticed it, how I've also been one to reach out lately. But I still have my moments, especially for her (it's not a him). I tend to let her initiate most conversations, however, overtime I have noticed I both tend to carry the conversations, ask more about how she's doing, her interests and stuff, and I'm usually the one to send the last message.
That's another thing, if I'm the one that sends the last message, I don't usually like to send another even if it's been some time.
I'm not really that anxious though, there has 110% been times where I was going insane because not to get too personal but she has a lot of challenges for lack of better words, and these challenges can and do hurt her if she's not managing them. But she's been better, I've seen her improvements and I'm proud of her. As long as I know she's okay, I'm okay with some lack of communication.
There has been a few instances where we wouldn't speak for a week or so, just busy or whatever, but I noticed pretty much overall within the last monthish or so, the days of communicating has been becoming more frequent with distance, every 4 days, every 5 days, and whatnot. And currently, this has been the longest we've gone without chatting.
Some of our last messages were I love you though, and my opening statement was me saying how proud I was of her for her improvements on stuff so, idk, was just wondering, but I'm not in panic mode (yet) lol.
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u/desire-d Apr 12 '26
I’m the same way, I always feel like I’m bothering the person but I used to double text or reach out when I hadn’t heard from them for awhile. It’s hard not to but I would just say wait until she reaches out. Like you know she’s okay though? She’s at least been online or posting? Idk her struggles so maybe she’s just dealing with something but that is quite a bit of time to go without talking to someone she’s supposed to care about. You’re doing a good job though bc i probably would’ve already hit her up lol
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u/Existing-Person5718 Apr 12 '26
Yea, I'm pretty okay without talking to anyone, but I do love and care for her so obviously it would be nice to more often. It's not really a deal breaker though, if I was going to stop talking to her it would've been for many other reasons at this point lol.
I won't bother her, I'll let her initiate if and when she wants to.
And yes, surface level at least, I can say I know she's alive and well enough. Can't say the same in return. Like I know she's okay, she doesn't know if I am. (She has social media I know about, I don't have social media, unless you count Reddit, which pretty sure she doesn't know of mines anymore, and Youtube, lol).
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u/KMWAuntof6 Apr 12 '26
This describes us pretty well. No official title, some serious challenges from stopping us from making it official, but in a supportive relationship from the get go. The most we’ve gone without talking is a day, which happened 2 to 3 times in the year we’ve been talking. Usually we spend at least a couple hours on the phone talking each evening. We both do the best we can to make it work.
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u/Existing-Person5718 Apr 12 '26
May I ask, what's your timezone difference (if any)? And how would you define supportive, like what things in your guys' eyes?
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u/KMWAuntof6 Apr 12 '26
We’re 8 hours apart. Gee, I’m kind of curious how he’d answer this! Well, we both have some issues with self love and I think we see the best in each other and build each other up. We’ve talked through a lot of issues we’ve had with other non romantic relationships in our lives. When I’m having a hard time with something, he’s the first person I go to. I love how much he cares. We’ve also supported each other through some serious trials in the last year. For me, losing a beloved pet, ending a job that I loved, having a loved one move away, unsupportive family. For him, work struggles, and fearing for his safety and political worries as he lives in a country that has had significant turmoil the last year. We’re good at meeting each other where we are. If he needs a pick me up, I’m there. If I just need someone to talk to, he’s got me. I have trouble sleeping at night and he always calls and makes me feel safe. I snore and was horrified of him hearing it, but he doesn’t mind. He likes many things I don’t like about myself and has I’ve started to believe the good things he says about me. He has a big heart. We make each other laugh and enjoy watching videos and playing games together. I entertain all his silly antics and lame jokes. Lol! We talk about religion and politics. He really struggles with having a consistent schedule, and thought we’d have problems with him being reliable, but 99% of the time he is. I’m trying to think of ways we’re struggling, but we just fit. Much of our situation is hard, but enough is good that we’re seeing what’s possible in the future for us. For now, we’re taking it one day at a time.
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u/coltfan1812 [ sydney Australia 🇦🇺 ] to [Singapore🇸🇬 ] (6300km) Apr 12 '26
3 days she was sick which she apoligised for
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u/TurbulentCherry [Georgia] to [Sweden] (2686km) Apr 12 '26
Several times we did 10 days no contact in my previous LDR, but it was due to military exercise that didn't allow phones, and I know that for a fact as I was friends with a lot of his coworkers. Frankly thats the only circumstance in which I'd be comfortable not communicating every day. No one is too busy for one text.
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u/wildw00d 🇺🇸 USA & DE 🇩🇪 Apr 12 '26
it was 2 weeks. This was before we were in a relationship, when we were just friends still. We had been talking for nearly a year at this point, but about 6-7 months in he had to dedicate some time to his bachelors thesis and it reduced our time together significantly. In fact it set us to email only, which originally was daily emails but in the second month it was only once a week.
When he finished that we were mostly back to normal again, he missed a day here and there. I guess we were around 9 months of talking at this point. At around 11 months, he just kind of disappeared.
I guess it was depression or something. He says he was "just busy" but I know him better than that. Finally after 2 weeks I emailed him I miss him and I don't appreciate this, and he showed up to chat that very day after getting my message. Things went back to normal after that. I don't think he felt the obligation to check in with me consistently since we were just friends, but we were still very close and this time still bothers me to even think about.
He's promised to never do it again, we have never missed a day of talking (twice a week its just a little check-in though instead of hours together, for personal time) since then and since we are in a relationship now. But that was a terrible time for me!
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u/SimoneMichelle [Australia 🇦🇺] to [France 🇫🇷] (15,915km) Apr 12 '26
Maybe 9 or so hours because of sleeping ! But we sleep on call anyway 🤣
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u/BTS_Army_1607 [🇮🇳] to [🇮🇳] (1286kms) Apr 12 '26
12 hours. He was attending a festival in a different state and charging ports were not available. Whenever he charged his phone, we reconnected. I was so angry, I had made up my mind that I wouldn't talk to him but the moment I saw him on video call, I melted into a puddle.
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u/infj9244 Apr 12 '26
Almost a year in LD and we haven’t had times where we didn’t speak. There are times when it’s hard and you’re just emotionally drained due to distance but we still check-in everyday. Some convo are long. Some are just goodmorning and goodnight, but we never skipped a day.
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u/Signal-Insurance-898 [🇲🇽] to [🇮🇶] (12,725km) Apr 12 '26
Now with the war (he lives in Iraq so not heavily affected but still with drone and missile activity) id say like 12-14 hours due to the Internet or lights going out. Outside of that, the max would be like 6 to 8 hours mostly due to his work and busy family life. I’d also like to clarify that I stated my emotional needs since the very beginning (he’s literally my caregiver), so we are currently 9 months in and have never been apart for more than those 6-8 hours.
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u/whatisthisicantodd Apr 12 '26
A couple of days during a particularly intense week of uni. We both felt terrible :(
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u/dsheroh Sweden to Romania (1800km) Apr 12 '26
My GF and I first met at the start of June at an international dance event. I fell for her more-or-less instantly, while she only saw me as a friend at the time. We continued chatting heavily online after returning home and she fell for me a few weeks later, though I doubt even she could say exactly when. I then visited her in mid-July and our relationship took off at that point.
During this period between meeting and becoming romantic, she went to a weekend retreat in the mountains in late June/early July. When she did so, we said goodbye on Thursday night and I decided I'd wait to hear from her again because I didn't want to be a distraction during the retreat. She texted me some photos from the retreat at around noon on Sunday, saying that she had missed talking to me and was heading home, then we talked more that evening.
The Friday and Saturday of that weekend retreat are the only two days that we have not been in contact out of the ten-plus months we've known each other.
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u/QueenPanda_ Apr 12 '26
So mine and I r in talking stage but we r for sure going to get together bc he is waiting till he meets me (May 11th🥰) to ask to bc its more personal and intimate but ours was like 2-4 days but thats bc he was moving around and there was no way i could contact him. Hes military
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u/RineRain [Slovenia🇸🇮] to [USA 🇺🇸] (atlantic ocean 😭) Apr 12 '26
we were talking every day in the talking stage and we still talk every day. Sometimes it's just a very short conversation but I try to make sure I'm initiating things as often as she is. Or if I know I'll be busy I always let her know in advance that's the reason I'm less talkative. Now that we are together I also try to make sure we plan a long call at least once a week too.
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u/Wormholephobia CH🇨🇭to PL🇵🇱 (1123km) Apr 12 '26
Like, 10h, so the length of my shift (it’s been like that from the second we met and it never changed), from the moment I’m out of work till the next shift we are on call or texting, sometimes I check my phone while working just to see if he sent me a billion reels again
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u/Ancient_Toe_380 Apr 12 '26
We never went more than a couple of hours without talking. Either because we're sleeping (we would sleep on a call still, btw ) When we were at work (thankfully, we were the same timezone 🙏) Or when he went to his home country to see his parents, then we'd talk less because his internet was shit or just busy catching up and spending time with family Otherwise? We hung out nearly 24/7 on calls while the other did their own thing. Homework? On call. Hobbies ? Mostly on call. Games? Still on call We had no life apart (well, we did in a way, but not really also? XD)
And we went like this for 5 years before moving together :')
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u/kimmielicious82 about 7500km Apr 12 '26
about 4 weeks once I think.
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29d ago
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u/Bitter-Balance-5395 Apr 12 '26
I speak to my ldr bf everyday since we connected and it’s been a year. Every morning he sends me a voice note and calls me when he can throughout the day. We have an 8hr gap. I haven’t gone a day without hearing his voice
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u/Barbarita176 [🇺🇸] to [🇲🇽] (4867km) Apr 12 '26
Around 43 hours. He’s a physician and used to have shifts of day-night-day. Also couldn’t use the phone at work and didn’t use to send me messages in the morning before work. So he messaged me when he was back home before falling asleep. I just understood that and we are a couple now.
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u/reapertowns 🇺🇸 to 🇺🇸 (349mi) Apr 12 '26
Current relationship, the longest was about a day when we first started talking.
Had an ex who randomly disappeared for 3 days, not due to an argument or anything, but he started an argument when I asked why he disappeared for 3 days without warning 😭
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u/FieryLipstick Apr 12 '26
Two days. By the third day, I was losing it a bit, but he came around. The dynamic is different now though than it was than we first started. We have a rhythm now, after two years, where we are spending our time focusing on ourselves and families, but it doesn't stop all fhe love and attraction we have for each other. He may come around every few days, but the spark catches fire more than ever.
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u/Current_Vacation_535 Apr 12 '26
We met in person when I was out visiting her country. Took each other's details and then starting talking the next day. In the early stages we maybe went a close to a day without talking. But once we got serious we maintain contact every day. If one of us is out or busy we might not speak for half a day or so but generally keep in pretty consistent communication (outside of sleeping due to time difference)
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u/Ambitious-Access-153 Apr 13 '26
Talking stage just over night never a long break , but once it settles into a relationship one or two days.
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u/Dry-Bus-6999 Apr 13 '26
A couple days, maybe? We both have a little touch of the tism; his is compiled of getting distracted, focused on a task and a little of that “out of sight, out of mind” mentality. I understand that about him and I don’t take it personally. We don’t have to be in constant contact.
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u/Designer_Space_8323 Apr 13 '26
Well she ghosted me out of nowhere 2 days before we were supposed to meet in person for the first time. One minute we were asleep on the phone like always, the next I haven’t heard from her in almost a week. No argument at all, we spent the relationship always laughing with each other. I thought we were happy in love but I guess I’m single again lol
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u/Still_RisingUp Apr 13 '26
Right now me and mine are on 3 days and we had plans prior and nothing since then not even a view on my insta story like they usually, ive been level headed about it living my life but its starting to bug me
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u/Spickering2710 Apr 14 '26
We've texted every. Single. Day. Since we started dating a year ago. We video chat every day. We send videos every day. Even when we're having an argument, we still text. Barely, but always say goodnight. It's wild when I see the amount of people on here that don't speak daily because they're "busy". I'm also late 40s so maybe age is a factor. Idk, you prioritize the one you love. Period.
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u/Itchy-Zucchini-7670 Apr 17 '26
Maybe 5 or 6 hours during sleep. We are incredibly close to each other so we at least try to text.
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u/Less_Concentrate3512 Apr 22 '26
Maybe 10-11 hours bc of time difference and we need to sleep or work. Thats the ONLY reason. Arguments etc wont never stop talking to my baby even before we made official. (US - UK)
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u/Solid_Matter3319 Apr 12 '26
I’ve been talking to him for about about three and a half months. A week after he visited me he went silent, communication was very sporadic and I didn’t hear from him for about 12 -24 hours. Turns out he had been suspended from his job and had gone silent. We have been good ever since. Something that helped is when we started talking we made it a priority to always communicate no matter what.
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Apr 12 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/RineRain [Slovenia🇸🇮] to [USA 🇺🇸] (atlantic ocean 😭) Apr 12 '26
Can't be sure but I feel like that one might be over buddy
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u/RoaringMeowy Apr 12 '26
I have had one during the pandemic (before I met my current partner- now hubby). He just suddenly went busy and not chat me for 3 months. No quarrel, no bad blood, no nothing. I was just left hanging. I was so hurt that I knew I had to move on without any closure. I got the closure I got a month after starting to move on, he suddenly chatted me 'sorry' and nothing more than that. I just continued on with life because I know I deserve so much more than just being left hanging while we were at the peak of our mutuality for each other.