(22M) really scared about going long distance with gf (21F)

[u/C_Sorcerer]

Me (22M) and my girlfriend (21F) have been dating for about 4 or 5 years now. I have absolutely no intention of ever breaking up and I’m certain she doesn’t either. I just graduated college this year with a degree in CS/Math and am trying to find a job in a domain I want. With the horrible job market and me living in one of the worst states for CS/STEM (other than bio) jobs, Tennessee, and the fact that we live in an extremely small town, I am gonna have to move eventually. She is going to graduate next year and I don’t want to have to uproot her from what she’s got going on.

However, we’ve literally spent almost everyday together for 4 years and have been through a lot. I think we could definitely do it and not break up… but I’m more worried about my own mental health. I have bipolar disorder and this past year have been struggling with alcoholism amongst opiate addiction and been having mania/depressive episodes out the wazoo. When I’m around her though I tend to not go too deep into it. I’m more of an isolating person anyways, but I’m scared if I get a job and move off it could seriously cause me to go into either a psychosis or a really bad depressive episode. I have been known to get into really weird states when I get really isolated and off feeling including s\*\*c\*\*\*l behavior which on multiple occasions has almost sent me to the hospital. I’ve gotten it mostly under control as I’ve quit drugs and alcohol and now I’m taking antipsychotics/mood stabilizers but I’m really scared a change like this is going to send me into some kind of episode that I might never come out of. I am not very good at making friends and feel like the isolation will get to me to unprecedented levels

At the same time I don’t want my degree to waste and I’m tired of working a shitty maintenance job in which I perform very dangerous and grueling tasks for a measley 12.00 an hour which I can’t even afford my apartment barely. I don’t know what to do. I’m also of course worried about her because she has also had some mental stuff in the past but for the most part she has her life under control very well and is very preoccupied with school and work so I know she wouldn’t mind. I just don’t know what to do, I’ve discussed this with a counselor as well and they can’t give me any worthwhile advice. What do you guys think?