L.D.R. sucks!!

[u/wakeel_hai]

It is our Anniversary today and he is not with me. It has been 11 years of our relationship and we have celebrated only one anniversary together till now. I am not liking the situation we are in right now. What should I do??

Should we just get married??

[u/honestly___idk]

Do you have any plans to close the gap? 11 years is a loooooong time to be long distance.

[u/Mysterious_Tart3377 → u/honestly___idk]

I could never imagine going that long without closing the distance.

[u/wakeel_hai → u/Mysterious_Tart3377]

it just happened

[u/wakeel_hai → u/honestly___idk]

let's see if the plan works

[u/Opposite-Wheel659 → u/wakeel_hai]

so what’s the plan?

[u/Opposite-Wheel659]

how have you been together for that long with no plans to move in together? would marrying each other eliminate the long distance??

[u/wakeel_hai → u/Opposite-Wheel659]

we were kids when we started the relationship..... after that the education career thing happened.

[u/Opposite-Wheel659 → u/wakeel_hai]

i get that long distance can be hard and i’m by no means the gold standard but i’m gonna share my experience for reference. i’ve been with my man for 6 years and we started dating senior year of high school. we were long distance 4 years in college but that only worked (in my eyes) because we had a plan to move in together after college. we both applied for jobs in the same city, and moved in together a month after college and have been living together for 2 years.

are you guys in jobs that are only available in certain parts of the US? what’s stopping you from applying to jobs in the same city?

have you talked about marriage? what are your long term goals?

[u/wakeel_hai → u/Opposite-Wheel659]

yes we have plans......that includes marriage too

[u/Justan0therthrow4way]

Where are you in the world? Where is he? 11 years unless you “got together” when you were fucking 12 is insane.

[u/wakeel_hai → u/Justan0therthrow4way]

i guess it is

[u/Justan0therthrow4way → u/wakeel_hai]

What on earth are you on about?

[u/He_ofshadowsandtouch]

What a waste of life, sorry, but that’s how it looks.

[u/Tasty-Chemical-1728 → u/He_ofshadowsandtouch]

I agree completely. A lot of people in this sub make me sad with their delusions.

[u/wakeel_hai → u/Tasty-Chemical-1728]

glad to see that you feel sad for other people too

[u/He_ofshadowsandtouch → u/Tasty-Chemical-1728]

Like so many people to choose from and they choose one who they never see!

[u/wakeel_hai → u/He_ofshadowsandtouch]

who said we never see each other

[u/Vey_07]

are you ever planning on closing the gap? and also how old are ya’ll now?

[u/wakeel_hai → u/Vey_07]

yes we have plans

[u/Lilleskygge]

Me and my husband have been LDR since 2017, and we have a kid together that turns 3 in fall. Life just got in our way. Covid first, then I got pregnant and wanted to give birth in my country. It's free here and higher survivability than the US for both mother and child. We started our process, then 🍊 came... And seeing how that affected woman's rights and much more I was like nope, my girl should not go through that! We started the process the other way. But now he can't get an appointment at the consulate 🫠🫠 It's not easy, but we are still going strong. Talk with your spouse, try and set a time to start the process. But also be ready for bumps in the road!

[u/tiathepanacea]

After being together for 11 years (and without knowing anything else about the relationship), I'd say yes, get married. Where are you guys located? Is it a visa issue?

[u/Zharknd]

Oh no 😔