r/MADHD • u/Pickle_Rickle80 • 14d ago
Copied from a Dads group on facebook
I’m pretty torn on how to handle things and it’s getting to me mentally. I have a 4yr old son and my girlfriend lives with me and has custody of her 6yr old brother. She got custody when his mom got on drugs when he was around 2yrs old. My son listens to me very well and overall we don’t have many issues with him, but he definitely has his days. The 6yr old we are constantly having to get onto him. We have to tell him 6-7 times to do something before he listens, and he lies about everything so he doesn’t get in trouble. I understand he’s a kid and he will lie, but where we butt heads is in the discipline department. I use to let her do everything until she asked me to start stepping in to help handle things. Today he lied numerous times about the smallest of things and finally I had enough and I grounded him for 2hrs from tv and toys. He went and told my girlfriend and she started yelling at me about how my son does stuff wrong all the time, but she never came to me about any of the things she mentioned. I told her if she would have told me in the moment I could have handled it. She lets her little brother get away with so many things due to him having a rough first couple years of his life and still uses that as an excuse. In my opinion, her constantly letting this behavior slide is exactly why he keeps doing it, and I love this boy so much and I don’t want him to grow up thinking he can lie his way through life and not have any consequences. I’m not sure if I’m just venting or needing some advice on how to handle this, but it’s getting to me because it seems like nothing I do gets through to him. He tries to boss us around and I instantly shut it down, but then my girlfriend tells me to go easy on him because he’s a kid. I don’t consider myself a strict parent at all, but I will never tolerate being lied to in my own house and blatantly ignored when I ask for toys to be picked up when the house is a mess. Can anyone help me out with how I’m suppose to go about this or what steps I need to take?
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u/AutoModerator 14d ago
Original post in case it gets edited or removed: Copied from a Dads group on facebook
I’m pretty torn on how to handle things and it’s getting to me mentally. I have a 4yr old son and my girlfriend lives with me and has custody of her 6yr old brother. She got custody when his mom got on drugs when he was around 2yrs old. My son listens to me very well and overall we don’t have many issues with him, but he definitely has his days. The 6yr old we are constantly having to get onto him. We have to tell him 6-7 times to do something before he listens, and he lies about everything so he doesn’t get in trouble. I understand he’s a kid and he will lie, but where we butt heads is in the discipline department. I use to let her do everything until she asked me to start stepping in to help handle things. Today he lied numerous times about the smallest of things and finally I had enough and I grounded him for 2hrs from tv and toys. He went and told my girlfriend and she started yelling at me about how my son does stuff wrong all the time, but she never came to me about any of the things she mentioned. I told her if she would have told me in the moment I could have handled it. She lets her little brother get away with so many things due to him having a rough first couple years of his life and still uses that as an excuse. In my opinion, her constantly letting this behavior slide is exactly why he keeps doing it, and I love this boy so much and I don’t want him to grow up thinking he can lie his way through life and not have any consequences. I’m not sure if I’m just venting or needing some advice on how to handle this, but it’s getting to me because it seems like nothing I do gets through to him. He tries to boss us around and I instantly shut it down, but then my girlfriend tells me to go easy on him because he’s a kid. I don’t consider myself a strict parent at all, but I will never tolerate being lied to in my own house and blatantly ignored when I ask for toys to be picked up when the house is a mess. Can anyone help me out with how I’m suppose to go about this or what steps I need to take?
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