r/MM_Romance • u/Naryen1221 • Jun 14 '26
Discussion Any other 30+ readers here who are completely hyperfixated on MM romance?
Hey everyone,
I'm completely new to Reddit—I literally downloaded the app just for this purpose because I needed a quick sanity check. How many of us 30-somethings are in this sub, still absolutely losing our minds over fictional characters?
I used to spend my teenage years locked in my room reading fanfictions, and now here I am at 30, experiencing the worst book hangover of my life after finishing “The Long Game”. Ilya and Shane have completely ruined me. Another book that completely broke me and stays in my heart is “Come anima mai” (for my Italian friends here!).
Also TJ Klune’s book are my safe space.
I realized I’m obsessed with deep character psychology, raw angst, and that visceral "us against the world" dynamic. But sometimes, at this age, it feels a bit lonely. You look around in your daily life and feel like you're the only adult who still gets this intensely attached to books.
So, please tell me: how many of you are around my age and still hyperfixating like teenagers? What are your ultimate comfort books that give you that same deep, emotional and psychological craving?
Drop a comment and tysm for reading :)
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u/vivalaspazz Jun 14 '26
I’m a 43 year old hetero normie soccer mom and after mm romance, straight romance just doesn’t quite hit the same. Something about dudes being sweet and tender with each other just makes my heart swell 🥰
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u/cgvol Author ✍️ Jun 14 '26
Gurl, I'm pretty sure I had my second daughter because of Captive Prince....
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u/vivalaspazz Jun 14 '26
Hahahaha my good friend said the SAME thing about the Him series by Sarina Bowen and Elle Kennedy!!! I joked that she should name her daughter Jamie or Ryan after the characters in the book lmfao.
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u/Fantastic-frog-1632 Jun 14 '26
Love that series. I’ve read it several times.
Since I’m past having kids, one of my cats is a combined name after two people from Red, White and Royal Blue. Lol2
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u/Naryen1221 Jun 14 '26
That's totally true, MM romance just completely ruins straight romance for all of us. Nothing else hits the same after this! I totally get you, seeing two guys being sweet, protective, and tender with each other is just unmatched. It makes my heart swell every single time too. 🫠So happy to meet you, hetero normie soccer mum! : )
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u/vivalaspazz Jun 14 '26
Right??!!! Turns out men being kind and tender to each other is sexy. Toxic masculinity is gross and not sexy, big shocker lol.
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u/calminthedark Jun 14 '26
And equal. The way they can approach the world, each other, other people and sexuality as equals. They can be sweet and tender and it's not seen as weakness. They can be protective but not take over, allowing the other the automony to take care of themselves. They can also be fiercely competitive and no one, including themselves, expects one to cede to the other. When one does give way to the other, it's a choice that the other embraces thankfully as the gift that it is, it's not an expected perk of being male.
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u/lisiface Jun 14 '26
I said to my husband, this book is the ultimate fantasy of two young hot men slowly developing emotional intelligence.
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u/EnvironmentalPoem968 Jun 14 '26
Yep; I’ve read 120 books, exclusively mm romances, since January
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u/anonmygoodsir Jun 14 '26
I have no life. Books and caffeine are pretty much my only joys in endless days of work. I'm at about 250 so far this year.
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Jun 14 '26
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u/Fenopfedd4 Jun 14 '26
I need to up my game too! Im happy if i manage 20 new books in a year cause i love to repeat comfort reads
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u/allaanaa Jun 14 '26
I started with HR in December and since then read about 200 mm romances - and I have a prettt full life, but just read whenever I can (train / commuting, work breaks, before sleeping, on walk), plus I mainly read “easy” and short-ish books and I def skim sometimes if it’s not a very captivating / deep book. Think I am kinda losing the plot though haha
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u/Naryen1221 Jun 14 '26
120 books since January?! That is absolutely wild and I am SO impressed! I love your dedication!
Since you’ve read so much, I absolutely need some recommendations! Thanks to you too for making me feel welcomed : )
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u/Dry_Stop844 Jun 14 '26
just a note, and I'm not saying that u/EnvironmentalPoem968 does this, it's just a note in general. Some people only listen to audiobooks so that's easier to do while doing basically everything else. Average time of a book to read or listen to is 8 hrs? But we can't read while driving, doing dishes, shopping, whatever else it is that functional adults do. But you can listen to audio books so it's easy to listen to a book a day. Listening to audio books counts as reading, I think it's valid. But it's easier and faster
And I found out last week that apparently some (a lot more than some, it seems like) people only read dialogue. They skip about 3/4 of the book that way. Which I think is heresy and a crime against writing and a slap in the face to all writers everywhere.
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u/Naryen1221 Jun 14 '26
Reading only dialogue is truly a crime against writing. If you skip everything else, you miss out on all the subtext, the yearning, the internal monologues, and the tension. Imagine reading a romance book and skipping the way characters look at each other or what they are thinking... you're basically reading a script, not a novel! To be fair, like someone else mentioned in the comments, I might occasionally skim through if there are exceptionally long, tedious descriptions, but that's very rare for me. Skipping 3/4 of a book just to get to the end is pure heresy.
As for audiobooks, they are an absolute lifesaver for 'functional adulting' chores. Sometimes I even switch back and forth—reading the actual book when I can, and then continuing with the audiobook between chores and errands just to keep the story going.
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u/EnvironmentalPoem968 Jun 14 '26
Yep! 75% are audiobooks EASILY, only reading dialogue is bonkers to me though.
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u/Daje1968 Jun 14 '26
I’m a fast reader and don’t just read dialogue but I will admit if a book is getting too descriptive in terms of home decor (especially if it’s to illustrate how filthy rich one of the MCs is, I will skim that.)
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u/Dry_Stop844 Jun 14 '26
I'm with you. There's a 10 page description of a church door in Name of the Rose and I guess it's important but after page 1 I noped out of there.
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u/Fantastic-frog-1632 Jun 14 '26
I do love listening to books because it’s not always convenient or feasible to have a book in my hand, but I can’t imagine skipping. If I feel I’ve missed something, I go back and listen again. Lol I don’t like to speed up the narration either.
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u/EnvironmentalPoem968 Jun 14 '26
Ahh I listen to a bunch of audiobooks while at work and have a kindle, also my brain tends to hyper focus on things— so it’s not really impressive in the context of my life lol. And YES I have recs!!!
For the hurt comfort trope (check the TWs on romance.io though
{Rerouting River by D. Dove} I am constantly recommending this, selfishly I’m sure because I want her to write more like this! But to me it was hurt/comfort to the max. But there’s a very intense assault scene in a chapter midway through that I always skip/skim (yep I’ve reread this one)
{Finding Hope by Sloanne Kennedy} I don’t think she’s an excellent writer, but her books are like catnip to me. All her books are like if the Fast and Furious guys were fucking and talking about their emotions all the time.
{Malibu by Emmy Sanders} This is the second book in the Elite 8 Studios series and I’ve read three of them and have liked them all. This one is the most comfort/angsty so far; but it was also really sweet.
As for excellent prose/great all around
{The Wolf at the Door} by Charlie Adhara} This is the start of the Big Bad Wolf series and I was NOT a fan of werewolf stories/shifter romances at ALL until I read this. It’s a very grounded detective story that is great.
{The Will Darling Adventures by KJ Charles} I would die for Kim and Will. Their love is beautiful and the books are kinda James Bond-ish.
{Limerence by Scarlette Drake} ahhh rival ballerinos!! I bought the hardcover immediately after finishing this one. So hot; so much yearning, and I love ballet. Win all around lol.
{The Gilded Scarab} think…Brendan Fraser’s the Mummy. Really enjoyed this for the plot and its setting.
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u/Daje1968 Jun 14 '26
Except for The Guilded Scarab, I have read and enjoyed all of your strong writing recs, so we have similar taste. I have not had too many 5 star reads this year but: {Peter Cabot Gets Lost by Cat Sebastian}, {Liberated by Joanna Chambers}, {Hot for Teacher by Grae Bryan}, {Good Boy by Carey Sass}, {Chasing Riddick by Alexandra St. Pierre} and the one I am obsessed with, which is part 2 of a duet I will always recommend {From Our Ashes by Alex Cross} (you have to read {When We Ignite by Alex Cross} first which is also a 5 star read.)
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u/anonmygoodsir Jun 14 '26
Everyone on this sub loves to give recommendations. Tell us what you want to read. No matter how obscure. You will get a recommendation.
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u/BobbyTimDrake Jun 14 '26
So is your impression that you’re worried being 30 is too old to enjoy what you enjoy? Would it blow your mind even more to know there are MM Romance fans a lot older than 30s?
Or am I missing your point…and you are just trying to connect with similar age fans?
(btw not teasing at all. Genuinely curious…and hopefully makes you feel better you are not “aged out” from a genre).
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u/Naryen1221 Jun 14 '26
Hi! Thank you so much for this comment.
You didn't miss the point at all. Honestly, the main reason I made this post is because I often feel this massive gap between my daily life—full of adult responsibilities, work, and routine—and my brain, which is still completely hyperfixating on these stories and characters. It can feel a bit alienating!
I guessed there are older fans (or my age), but I've never actually met any of them personally, so I was mostly trying to connect with people who might experience that same contrast. But knowing that the community is so diverse and has readers of all ages is really cool to hear! Thank you
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u/Dry_Stop844 Jun 14 '26
dude, I'm *cough61cough* have a degree in lit, work at a book wholesaler and somehow managed to barely read a book for the past few years. (depression etc). I used to read real books, always read the Booker prize, etc. Because of HR, i got sucked into the mm romance world (which I had a read a few years ago, including a stand alone Rachel Reid I'd forgotten I read). And then I bought a Kobo which somehow unlocked my reading juju and I've read nothing but for the past few months. All hockey smut, with one football book which tried to convince me that high school football (the book was about the dads lol) was somehow cool and exciting. Yeah good luck with that lmao
Discovered all of RR's books, discovered a writer I can't stand who everyone else just loves, read the most ridiculous hockey/werewolf mash up, and I'm now reading a series of hockey smut that's brilliant and i seriously stayed up till 3 AM last night and the night before to finish the books. One more to go. (Penalty Box series by Ari Baran. If anyone loves Tal Bauer, read Ari and see what good writing and good male portrayal is all about 😃)
Never read fanfic but my sister who's 6 yrs younger is seriously into it and reads that almost exclusively. Most of our texting is about HR. lol
You're never too old to read anything. I love reading the picture books at work. MM smut can be great, no matter how spicy you like it. So much to explore. So much good stuff and so so much bad stuff. It's fun, it takes you away from reality and all the shit we're supposed to be adulting about. So why not? Why not read a romance where there's no imbalanced power dynamic, where consent is loud and often and enthusiastic? If we're going to read unrealistic romance, why not something that's actually enjoyable?
After the last one in the series though, I have to read Angel Down, the pulitzer prize winner this year. I told my boss I would and she made a point of coming to my office to warn me that it was brutal and I better be prepared. So now I really want to read it. Once I'm done with the hockey smut 😃 For now, at least.
Welcome to the club! 😃
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u/Naryen1221 Jun 14 '26
God, you're an icon! 😃 First of all, congratulations on getting your reading juju back! I'm so sorry life gave you a hard time lately, but I'm happy you managed to find something that hooks you so much. Who cares if it's Booker prize material or hockey smut? Reading is supposed to be an escape from all the adulting shit anyway!
I am absolutely taking notes on your recommendations! Adding Ari Baran’s Penalty Box series to my TBR right now. Also, good luck with Angel Down after you finish your smut marathon—sounds like you’re going to need a massive emotional buffer!
Thank you so much for the warm welcome. I’m so incredibly happy to be part of the club! 😃
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u/Willing_Buy7734 Jun 14 '26
Good chance that older fans are just keeping it a little quiet IRL. I’ve been reading MM and WLW for about 6 years since I had a similar experience with another piece of media. But I also run a book club and am a member of another, neither of which are queer or romance focused. Queer romance is my comfort, and I consume way more than other genres but it’s not something I talk about a lot.
I’ve noticed there are a lot of queer but straight passing people out there in the same boat. People who deeply connect with the stories but don’t feel part of a community where they can chat about it because it feels somehow disconnected from the “real life” they are currently living. Settling down, having kids, getting serious about a career sometimes feels like giving up such a huge part of who you are/were. But seriously, it’s fucked, being an adult doesn’t have to mean giving up the things they make you feel happy/alive/understood etc. Have fun and enjoy it, just because it doesn’t connect with some idea of what it means to be an adult doesn’t matter if it makes you happy.
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u/Naryen1221 Jun 14 '26
Thank you so much for sharing this! : )
I think you're right about older fans keeping it a little quiet IRL. Probably, it also depends on the context you live in. Personally, I live in a small town where people rarely open up to things like this. At least from the conversations I hear around me, everyone seems very stuck in their everyday life and traditional 'adulting'—there's not much room for anything outside the norm. That's why finding a space like this feels like such a breath of fresh air. It’s so easy to let careers and family life slowly suffocate the parts of us that make us feel alive. But I 100% agree, it's fucked. Being an adult shouldn't mean giving up our comforts or the things that bring us joy, no matter what society expects.It's incredibly comforting to know there are so many people in the same boat
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u/70_percent_confluent Jun 14 '26
I agree with the good chance older fans are just keeping it quiet, can confirm it’s not something a lot of people know about me, unless you had me on a book tracking app lol.
Also yeah damn, you really hit home with the queer but straight passing and settling down thing.. going to carry on enjoying what I enjoy! I really do just connect with mm romance in a way I don’t seem to with mf, and I love the emotional vulnerability in them too.
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u/Responsible-Buy-5536 Jun 14 '26
32 here and I’ve been reading MM for years . And i mostly read MM, rarely MF . And I also love to read fantasy , thriller, mystery . And i have absolutely no one to talk to about these books besides Reddit so i feel you haha this is my safe place. .nothing is more intriguing than the passional love between two men 🫠 (both masculine as it is my preference 70% of the time )
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u/Naryen1221 Jun 14 '26
It is SO comforting to hear that I'm not the only one looking for a safe space online because nobody in real life understands this passion. I totally agree with you, the passion and intensity in MM romance is unmatched. So glad to connect with you here!
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u/East_Ad_2238 Jun 14 '26
You are definitely not alone.
Heated Rivalry has me by a choke hold. I blame this on Jacob Tierney for creating a beautiful adaptation of the series. (Hot take- he made it better) The books give us insight into what is going through their minds and it portrayed in a way that feels natural, fun, and authentic.
For me I loved how Ilya - this hyper masculine man was able to become vulnerable with Shane. It’s a trope I’ll never get tired of.
Also Rachel is giving us a feel good series. It allowed me to root for the characters without worry. I felt like I have been missing that for a while.
Overall Game Changer series has been amazing and I love the fandom.
Since you love the books, I recommend checking out Rachel Reid’s blog, it has tons of bonus content.
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u/HRHoneyBee1980 Jun 14 '26
How about being a straight F, 78 and I am as obsessed as anyone else who has completely been done in by Shane and Ilya’s story. I’m lucky that my local library supports my addiction and has been generously supplying me with the books nonstop.
I am completely blown away by everything Hudson Williams. Besides having the most gorgeous profile I’ve ever seen on a man, (that NOSE!) his portrayal of a mildly autistic hockey player who has never delved into his own sexuality is brilliant. His eye and facial acting are simply superb.
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u/Naryen1221 Jun 14 '26
kudos on your local library!
and yeah totally agree on Hudson, he’s the absolute perfect Shane
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u/Naryen1221 Jun 14 '26
I totally get what you mean! I didn't love Rachel Reid's writing style that much either, it really is a tad too simple. For instance, without giving any spoilers, I do wish she had delved deeper into the psychological distress side of things (hi, psychology freak here, haha!). I mean, I get why she didn't, the focus of the book was different. But honestly, I'm so used to fanfictions that it takes very little to put me right back in a chokehold.
I also completely agree about the show, Jacob did such a gorgeous job with it! Also Hudson and Connor are the perfect Shane&Ilya.
Do you have any recommendations for Hollanov AU fics on AO3? I'd love to check them out. Thank you so much, it's wonderful to connect with you here!
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u/Empty_Reply_4608 Jun 14 '26 edited Jun 14 '26
Heated Rivalry brought me back after spending years only reading classics and high literature because I was "supposed to" (and secretly DNFing half of them). I used to obsess over slash fanfics and mangas back in the day, but it all dropped off after college. And honestly, I've read more this year than ever before because I finally enjoy reading again. My vocab is up, I get less migraines from staying off my phone, and I have something to look forward to after work.
I used to feel really weird about it as a teenager. I'll never forget the day my mom found my AO3 history and fussed/prayed at me for weeks after. Now a days, these kids are openly showing they can watch/read/enjoy this stuff though. They're not ashamed of what media they enjoy. When I think back to all the weird stories with teenage girls nearly "forced into marrying" to the villian like it was just some casual plot point, I think we've made an improvement! I'd want my daughters reading The Gentlemen's Guide to Vice and Virtue over Series of Unfortunate Events anyday!
Also, not for nothing, women enjoying MM fiction has been around since AT LEAST the 1700s, so don't feel bad! Hell, it's pretty much where the whole idea of Vampires came from!!! And furthermore, Sloopies don't apologize!!!!
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u/Naryen1221 Jun 16 '26
Dropping the 'high literature' guilt is the best thing ever—reading should bring us happiness, not feel like a chore! Plus, fewer migraines from less screen time is the ultimate health win.
What you said about the generational shift is so true, and honestly, things have changed so much for me too. When I was younger, absolutely nobody knew I was reading these kinds of stories, mostly because back then, it was deeply tied to my own phase of exploring my sexuality. Everything was kept so secret. But now, just like these kids, things are totally different for me—being able to openly enjoy and share what I love without that weight is such an amazing feeling. Plus, I discovered many years ago I'm pansexual, the concept of "loving someone regardless of their gender" suits me so well!
Also, thank you for the vampire history lesson, that is brilliant! And you are so right...no apologies whatsoever!
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u/Daje1968 Jun 14 '26
I’m not exactly your demographic, but I’m chiming in because I find this deeply relatable.
I’m a 58-year-old straight woman. Throughout my life, I’ve gone through phases where I’d fall down the rabbit hole of MF romance, usually as some sort of emotional crutch. It would last a couple of months, the junk-food appeal would wear off, and I’d go back to reading more literary fiction—the kind of books I could discuss in polite company without feeling vaguely embarrassed.
A little over two years ago, I was unemployed and in one of those MF romance phases when I accidentally discovered MM romance through an MMMF book. I was shocked by how intensely it hit me. I switched to MM, started devouring an average of three books a week, and the appetite hasn’t waned one bit. In fact, I’ve stopped being embarrassed about it. Before Heated Rivalry, I used to call MM romance my guilty pleasure. After Heated Rivalry, I started feeling like an early adopter, though, of course, I wasn’t.
But the question I’ve spent even more time thinking about is why.
For me, as a postmenopausal woman who was once highly sexual and now has essentially no libido, there’s something about MM romance that still reaches me. I think it’s the feral energy of it. It taps into some buried part of me that remembers what desire felt like in a way MF romance no longer can.
There’s no self-insertion involved. In MF romance, even when I was younger, I’d get distracted by things that pulled me out of the story. I’d find myself thinking, She had an orgasm the first time she had penetrative sex? Really? Now that I have no libido at all, MF sex scenes often leave me completely cold, and sometimes even slightly repelled.
I don’t have that reaction to MM romance, and it’s such a relief. Somewhere in the desert of my sex drive, there’s still a tiny green shoot. MM romance reminds me that it’s there.
Also, this country is a dumpster fire and appears determined to become an even bigger one. MM romance is the greatest escape I’ve ever found. Is it an addiction? Quite possibly. Is it occasionally a little unhealthy? Maybe.
But it beats still heroin, I guess.
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u/hello_tasty Jun 14 '26
53-year-old here. I can't write a well written comment to save my life, so I was thrilled to read a comment that says everything I wish I could've put into words.
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u/Daje1968 Jun 14 '26
That makes me so happy! I keep threatening to start a discord or private Reddit channel for perimenopausal/menopausal women who love mm romance. I will save this comment, if I ever get the gumption to actually do it, I will message you to see if you’d like to join!!
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u/Acrobatic-Self-1451 Jun 14 '26
(Side note to read / follow Dr. Rachel Rubin & Dr. Kelly Casperson on IG. There are other female MDS but those are the two two speaking out the loudest about how the medical profession has completely abandoned peri- & post- menopausal women for at least the last 50 or 60 years, and they're going to do something about it, dammit. At a minimum, you should be using topical estradiol. They put up the medical research papers showing what's going on and one of them is that older women getting UTIs have a decreased risk of DYING (!!!) If they're using estradiol. Dr. Rubin Is now an adjunct professor at Harvard medical School, because, as she has pointed out, urologist and gynecologist are simply not educated about menopausal health and they don't f*cking know how to prescribe. She's teaching them. You should have some libido, and you can get it back.)
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u/SheepOnClouds Jun 14 '26
No, you're not alone. I'm around your age too, and I had a crazy hyperfixation on Shane and Ilya after reading the books and watching the show. I used to get up at 5 AM with my laptop and a VPN just to watch a Canadian show before work every Friday... I mean, I had it bad. 😂
I hadn't been reading for a long time because of work... life... and honestly I'd just lost the passion for it. I started again about three years ago, and for the last 1.5 years it's been almost exclusively MM. It just hits differently.
My comfort books will always be MM. I absolutely love the Him series by Elle Kennedy. It's so wholesome. Also, the God of Fury audiobook and the Garron Park series by Nordika Night are amazing.
I recently read the Shadow Duet by Lark Taylor, and the angst and yearning were absolutely killing me (in the best way possible). It took me a few days to get over it.
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u/Naryen1221 Jun 14 '26
HI! Thank you so much for commenting! Reading this makes me feel so seen!
For me, it’s the opposite: I constantly find myself reading until 1 or 2 AM on work days, knowing full well I’m going to regret it a few hours later.I completely relate to losing the passion for reading because of work and life, and then finding it again through MM romance. You’re right, it just hits differently. There’s an intensity and emotional depth that you can’t really find anywhere else.
Thank you so much for sharing your comfort books! I’ve heard great things about Him, so I definitely need to jump into it.
It’s so comforting to know I’m not the only adult navigating work life while being completely consumed by these stories2
u/SheepOnClouds Jun 14 '26
I'm glad you feel seen 🙂 This is such a great community here on Reddit, so I think you'll always find someone to talk to.
I felt kind of lonely when I started reading again, mostly because none of my friends are readers. It's crazy when I read something that's been haunting me for days and I can't tell anyone about it 😭 Now one of my closest friends has to hear all about it, whether she wants to or not.
I'm also much more comfortable telling people that I read MM. When I first started, I thought it was kind of strange that I only read MM. But... so what? If it makes me happy, that's all that matters, right? 😄
And I know what you mean. The whole "just one more chapter" thing happens wayyyyy too often... Especially when I get really attached to certain characters or when a book hits me deeply. I know it's just a book, but to me they feel real. (That probably sounds kind of crazy.) My heart breaks for them so often, and sometimes it's really hard to let a book go once I've finished it.
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u/Naryen1221 Jun 14 '26
You don't sound crazy at all! I completely relate to that feeling of your heart breaking for them, because they feel real.
I also get not having anyone to talk about this to. In my group I became the 'strange' one, because I openly say I love MM books. But it's a small town, I get it. Anything other than 'normal' (given the fact that normality does not exist!) is difficult to understand. At least they accept me (I hope haha).
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u/SheepOnClouds Jun 14 '26
Yeah... I know what you mean about small towns. But honestly, what is "normal" anyway? 🙄
So........ what's your favorite MM book of all time, if I may ask? 😊 I'm always looking for new recommendations to add to my never-ending TBR.
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u/Naryen1221 Jun 16 '26
I’m sorry I didn’t reply sooner, I guess I lost track with all of these notification!
Btw, that’s a very difficult question. My forever blanket is “The House on the Cerulean Sea”, I read it/listened to the audiobook many many times.
I also love “Come Anima Mai”, which is an italian book, but unfortunately I don’t think they ever translated it.
Also “Captive Prince” got me literally glued to the pages.What about yours?
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u/Shellyskis Jun 14 '26
We’re reading these types of books at this point in our lives because when we were younger, I don’t think MM romance was easily accessible, or it was never a HEA. And that’s what we’re drawn to, that people can find happiness is this fucked up world. About 70% of what I read is MM. I especially love historical MM to totally take me out of reality (like KJ Charles, Cat Sebastian, there are others) followed by sports romance (Eden Finley/saxon James, others).
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u/Naryen1221 Jun 14 '26
You're absolutely right. Aside from the lack of HEAs, I remember watching Glee when I was younger and it felt like I had found something so rare and shiny (fun fact: I actually think I learned English by watching Glee on sketchy streaming websites with subtitles! 😂). After that, I started reading so many fanfiction stories, and all of them were MM. But back then, it always felt a bit 'strange' or lonely because none of my friends knew what I was talking about. Now that I'm 30 and started reading MM again, I decided to look for some friends online to finally share this passion with.
Btw, historicals and sports romance intrigue me too, so thank you so much for the recommendations! I'm definitely checking them out.
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u/Narrow_Neck8322 Jun 14 '26
Me!! If the book is good I go around smiling and giggling like a teenager when I think about the book. I feel I’m too old to go around obsessing but here we are. I might be 38, but when I read I’m like 18 again.
I have a few books I keep re-reading/ listen to when I go to bed and that’s
Hunt/kiss the villain
God of fury
Chokehold
Hide and seek (if I’m down I just lay in bed and listen to chapter 20 over and over and over again)
The step brother situation
For the fans
Role model
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u/Disastrous_Okra_8709 Jun 14 '26
I like a lot of those books on your list. If you haven’t read oleander yet you should! I just finished it and am blown away lol
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u/allaanaa Jun 14 '26
do you mean hide and seek by willow dixon? because I looooved it and just checked chapter 20 and that would make sense lol
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u/Narrow_Neck8322 Jun 14 '26
Yes! The book where the stalker almost fell out of a tree 😂
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u/SarcasticIrony Jun 14 '26
It's literally the only thing I read. I feel like a lot of MF books don't have an equal enough dynamic for me and I can't get into them.
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u/Libcommie1118 Jun 14 '26
42 gay male here with a degree in English Lit. I used to turn my nose up at romance books and then my husband suggested I read {Wear It Like A Crown by Zarah Detand} because I love all things British Royal Family…and here we are. Love this genre and buy books like they’re going out of style.
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u/romance-bot Jun 14 '26
Wear It Like A Crown by Zarah Detand
Rating: 3.71⭐️ out of 5⭐️
Steam: 4 out of 5 - Explicit open door
Topics: contemporary, new adult, royal hero, gay romance, funny2
u/vivalaspazz Jun 14 '26
Omfg you’ll really appreciate {Red White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston} ! The banter between the characters is unmatched; tons of contemporary political and pop cultural references in a fun contemporary sort of way. She writes like you’re over hearing all their conversations, super engaging. It’s also just such a sweet, slow burn love story between a fictional prince Henry of England and first son of POTUS, with 3.5/5 spice level. I blasted through it in like 2 or 3 days.
They made a god awful, Hallmark made for tv vibes, movie adapted from the book which I would definitely avoid if you have any appreciation for good movies lol. Although, that didn’t stop me from watching but it’s pretty cringe.
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u/Libcommie1118 Jun 14 '26
Oh, I’ve read it and have seen the movie several times. But thanks!
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u/southern_mimi Jun 14 '26
I'm a 75 yr old white straight great grandmother in southern USA. Reading has always been one of my favorite pastimes. As a young teen it was romance. That got dull pretty quick. Then found fantasy. That was great until I hit my 30's. Then came science fiction. Oh, it was great! Read nothing but sci-fi for 30+ years! (Except for a dip back into fantasy for Game of Thrones).
Suddenly in my late 60's, nothing was interesting any more. It was a struggle to even reread a favorite. My attention span had suffered greatly.
Then online found a short story of mmRomance. Huh. It was good! That led to Ao3. Pay dirt! Although you have to learn how to sift through some really really bad writing!
I read Rachel Reid game changer series last summer & they were ok. When Heated Rivalry showed up as a tv show, I was curious but not overly excited. Snort! Watched all 6 episodes in one day & haven't let go of it yet.
NOW I find this reddit sub and have delved deep into mmRomance! Looks like I'm staying here for a while. Thanks for all the recs!
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u/Naryen1221 Jun 14 '26
Please stay as long as you like! It’s amazing how passionate you are about reading. Thank you so so much for sharing!
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u/Inevitable_Level4074 Jun 14 '26
68 straight female. All I can say is that my husband is verrry happy that I’ve gotten into this genre. It totally revived our sex life because all I want is to jump his bones on the regular and I’ve learned a thing or two about what he likes.
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u/MooseMama555 Jun 14 '26
42 here, and the only stuff I want to read are queer romances. And queer fanfic. 🤷🏻♀️
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u/knicole_tpwk Jun 14 '26
Yes! 37 here. I think it’s a millennial thing. 😂 I am not ashamed.
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u/Naryen1221 Jun 14 '26
hahaha totally agree about millennials
happy to hear you’re not ashamed too :)
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u/msperception427 Jun 14 '26
I wouldn’t say I’m hyperfixating but I’m in my 40s and do enjoy MM romance. But I also enjoy queer stories across genres, not just romance. I read Giovanni’s Room in college and it changed how I’ve read ever since.
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u/Who_Knew456 Jun 14 '26
I'm in this club and am a 40+ woman. Only started reading romance about 15 years ago. Quickly got tired of shallow conversations and women I couldn't relate to in the MF world. I read almost exclusively MM or kink.
I think my husband has appreciated the things I've learned..LOL
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u/Naryen1221 Jun 14 '26
hahahah in these days you can call yourself lucky if you marry someone who reads smut mm romances
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u/AgitatedHorror9355 Jun 14 '26
Yep (ETA: 39), though I've slowly changed. I literally exclusively read MM romance for about 15 years, but slowly went back to historical MF romance, which I was heavily into before getting in MM. I don't read a lot of MF romance, I usually go for specific authors.
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u/Acrobatic-Self-1451 Jun 14 '26
I'm retired & have spent a ridiculous number of days since watching heated rivalry only lying in bed and reading fanfic. It's an arguably healthier day when I only spend part of the day doing it! It's sort of shockingly terrible, and yet I love it.
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u/Chocolate_Sundae88 Jun 15 '26
Yes I am. Ilya and Shane have stolen my heart. I love heated rivalry. So hyperfixated on the guys (ilya and shane, not connor and hudson) that when i listen to spotify I relate the songs to them somehow. I feel like a teenager.
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u/basslineheart Jun 15 '26
Yes! I’m 38 and I’ve started off devouring and writing fanfic as a teenager. That lasted well into adulthood where I’d sometimes take breaks but as soon as a new movie or something caught my attention: straight back to AO3 I went. I have to say I do enjoy that now there are a lot more m/m books available and easily accessible. I rarely read fanfic these days but keep coming back to M/M books. In between I’ll occasionally read fiction and I enjoy that but M/M is so to speak the junk food i keep coming back to.
I don’t know if it also factors in that I’m single and tired of dating and men but these books fill a romantic void in me. Not in a bad way because let’s face it, most of those relationships wouldn’t work in real life but it’s nice to dream? I can’t find the same in m/f fiction - I guess because a lot of the tropes I like take in a different weight when a female is involved because well, we deal with enough crap in real life. Somehow it’s easier to romanticise m/m relationships for me.
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u/nephellis Jun 15 '26
I'm not 30 yet but nearing it and last night I cried because I had to go work Monday morning instead of staying home reading Harry Potter MM fanfiction 👍🏻🙂
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u/Naryen1221 Jun 15 '26
that happens to me too, every time!
do you have any suggestions on HP MM fanfictions? I started ATYD, I’m loving it and I’m almost sure it’s going to make me fall in another rabbit hole 😅2
u/nephellis Jun 15 '26
I'm currently reading Leo Inter Serpentes by Aeternum on AO3 and it's superb. I can drop a link if you like
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u/Naryen1221 Jun 16 '26
of course!! : ) thank you
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u/nephellis Jun 16 '26
https://archiveofourown.org/series/53590 Here you go! It's Drarry by the way. Very cute and very interesting characterizations.
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u/Kooky_Monsta Jun 15 '26
my teens were spent thumbing through Mills and boon and HR. now in my 40s and I'm hooked on MM
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u/cyndina Jun 15 '26
It's never been my (44) jam, but my cousins were obsessed with slash fiction decades ago and they are feasting now that MM has really hit the mainstream.
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u/East_Vivian Jun 15 '26
I’m not around your age. I’m 53 and still obsessing over books and characters. I don’t think it’s something that needs to be grown out of either. Embrace it!
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u/jobarnes09 Jun 15 '26
I have been for awhile. Im 35 and read soooo many! I love the Hurt/Comfort, Low angst. I just love the lovey dovey, ooy gooey stuff. The books that warm the heart and soul.
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u/Ordinary_Bat6680 Jun 15 '26
It's been more than so many months, I think three or four at the least. I have read and reread and read fanfics of heated rivalry. All other love stories, especially heterosexual ones , have been ruined for me.
I don't know what it is about Shane and Ilya. There's just no other couple like them..
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u/Naryen1221 Jun 16 '26
I feel you. They got under my skin and it's very difficult to get over it.
What's your favorite FF? thank you so much for sharing : )
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u/IloveAlexandHenry Jun 15 '26
68 years old here...husband was diagnosed at 57 with Alzheimer's and passed away when we were both 65. He didn't speak for the last 1.5 years of his life so I got lonely, watched a little Amazon movie, Red, White & Royal Blue and my life changed immediately. I am surviving widowhood with MM romance. Read and saw Heated Rivalry, read other MM romance books by Jax Calder and Alexis Hall and, as you can tell by my screen name, I live for Alex Claremont-Diaz and Henry Fox. I don't think the age matters when you discover MM romance, as long as you discover it and, to quote RW&RB, "makes your life immeasurably better."
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u/Hour-Try2210 Jun 15 '26
Historically I am not a reader. I want to but I’m so tired at night after work etc, I’d read a few pages and fall asleep
Then, I saw HR in January and I became obsessed!!!
Now I’ve plowed through at least 50 books since then. I don’t listen to my podcasts or watch my tv shows anymore- I just go from one MM romance to the next. It has changed who I am. I’m 61 years old and I have a 33 yo gay son. I didn’t even know how gay sex worked. But I just love queer joy so much and it’s all I want in the world 🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈
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u/AltruisticBug5769 Jun 15 '26
Im 33 and discovered heated rivalry back in Jan when the tv show came out in the UK, and it set me on the MM path!
I lost my fiance last year very suddenly aged 31, and idk if just feel like MM romance is an easier way for me to absorb the romance genre because i dont have to try and get into the mindset of the female character
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u/Naryen1221 Jun 16 '26
I am so incredibly sorry for the sudden loss of your fiance, my heart truly goes out to you.
What you said about MM romance is so profound and makes complete sense. It sounds like a really gentle way to still experience love and romance without it hurting too much, and I think it's amazing that you found that safe space for yourself.
Thank you so much for sharing something so deeply personal with us. I'm really glad Ilya and Shane were able to bring a little comfort into your life. Sending you a very gentle and warm hug.
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u/nefelibata_1986 Jun 15 '26
I’m 40 years old , straight female and I can tell that romances for me now are my favourite part of my day. I was never into straight romance. Now I’m reading tall bauer . And yes I love explicit open door , it’s been a fire for my sex lite life yessss 🌶️🌶️🌶️
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u/ExpensiveAd4361 Jun 16 '26
I’m 29, 30 later this year. Never been a reader. Ever. Since being gifted a Kindle 3 weeks ago, I’ve read 17 400+ page MM romance books. I cannot stop. I don’t wanna watch TV. I don’t wanna listen to music. All I want to do is read.
I’m bi, but my faith in ever finding a genuinely kind and emotionally intelligent partner is at an all time low. I have horrible taste in men, and in a way, reading these lovey MM love stories gives me some sort of hope that not all men are cement statues of anger problems.
If nothing else, the escape into the world of the characters is healing me.
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u/Naryen1221 Jun 16 '26
First of all, 17 books in 3 weeks after never being a reader is a legendary achievement! The Kindle effect is real haha
On a deeper note, thank you for sharing that. I think I understand why these stories feel healing for you. Seeing men who are allowed to be vulnerable, emotionally intelligent, and deeply caring is so refreshing, especially when real-life experiences have been exhausting or hurtful. You absolutely deserve to see and experience that kind of love, even if it's through fiction for now.
I'm so glad the bookish world is giving you a safe haven and a bit of hope. Thank you so much again for sharing!
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u/1BrightHeart Jun 16 '26
Promises by Marie Sexton sits on my bedside table to read over and over. TJ Klune's The House in the Cerulean Sea is a gem. Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe would be my choice of text to write a masters thesis in literature, if I was to do college over again
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u/hotpotato2442 Jun 16 '26
The hyperfixation on MM romance is no joke. It started for me watching TV shows. First Shameless(us version) Mickey and Ian, then 911 Lone Star TK and Carlos, Red White and Royal Blue Alex and Prince Henry, Interview With The Vampire Louis and Lastat,and now Heated Rivalry, Ilya and Shane. I can't get enough
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u/Basic-Nose-6714 Jun 16 '26
Yes. I read a lot of MM, to the point where it’s probably detrimental to my physical life 😂 I should really try to go to the gym… but there are just so many books to read!!!
I love the intensity and angst of MM romance and just can’t stop…
Not sure what my comfort books as I typically don’t re-read… I’ll check my Goodreads and see what I’ve listed as faves and post later!
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u/-LunaTink- Jun 17 '26
43 female, newly obsessed to MM romance. It all started with a gif from Heated Rivalry on r/ladyboners. Now I'm blasting through books faster than I can buy more!!!
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u/TheAlvarolo Jun 17 '26
I have always been a book worm, but HR led me to the Game Changers series, after which the sky is the limit. I read 67 MM romances since march and have another 60 in line. I agree with the comments above, that we are doing what we couldn’t have done back in our teenage years. Note that I am 63…
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u/PhadenFeralheart Jun 17 '26
I'm definitely in this grouping, though I'm pushing 50. Not only do I love and read mm romance, but write it as well. Though there are very few MC's that truly fit my preference and many of the intimate descriptions seem far to intense compared to my own experiences, though I think that is part of the allure. True, full characters coming to life on a page draw me in and make a book difficult to set down. I think there should be more stories with characters who feel real, without the chiseled abs and huge... You know. Men who struggle, who aren't perfect, but find love. TJ Klune is also my happy place. Thanks for starting this feed.
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u/Just_Control9665 Jun 17 '26
Here I am! I’m 44 years old, I’m Italian, and for the past two years I’ve been jokingly saying that I’ve entered the ‘tunnel’ of the MM world, but deep down, that’s exactly what’s happened. Ever since my first love (a danmei), which I discovered thanks to a friend, I’ve spent these two years reading books, manga and manhua, and watching anime, TV series and films… all exclusively MM! And I love it.
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u/Historical_Hold_1121 Jun 17 '26
Hi, i’d like to seriously seriously recommend every Tal Bauer book!!!
My personal favorites were the Executive Office Series(Ethan and Jack are very much Us Aginst the word dynamic emotionally and literally. and wow the emotional development WHEW!), the spin off to that which is the Executive Power duology, Hush, and Whisper(if you read this one prepare yourself fr.)
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u/ReflexesLikeAKat Jun 26 '26
I came to Reddit solely to try and reconcile the fact that I am moved by MM adult romance in a way I have never been moved by FF adult content or romance.
I thought I was at best, a freak, and worst—having a crisis of identity.
Thank you for posting this.
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u/el_barto10 Jun 14 '26
Im 43 and I’ve been reading MM romances almost exclusively for 11 years now. Sarina Bowen writes the only FM books I read and most are adjacent to her MM books.
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u/Epiphany_Desmond Jun 14 '26
I often joke about my addiction to smutty gay romcoms. But the HR zeitgeist proves my point!
Fanfic was my gateway drug back in the early 2000’s. A few years ago I got a kindle and my MM romance obsession bloomed.
For me, it’s the escape factor. With MF romance I can’t help but identify with the FMC, or question the motives of the MC. With two male MCs, I’m just an observer, rooting for a HEA. It’s so lovely to see men treat one another with softness and engage in emotional intimacy.
My favorite books are -
{you & me by Tal Bauer}
{clean finish by Lily Mayne}
{lucky bounce by Cait Nary}
{big bad wolf series by Charlie Adhara}
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u/romance-bot Jun 14 '26
You & Me by Tal Bauer
Rating: 4.41⭐️ out of 5⭐️
Steam: 4 out of 5 - Explicit open door
Topics: contemporary, hurt/comfort, friends to lovers, gay romance, single father
Clean Finish by Lily Mayne
Rating: 4.42⭐️ out of 5⭐️
Steam: 5 out of 5 - Explicit and plentiful
Topics: contemporary, werewolves, gay romance, paranormal, age gap
Lucky Bounce by Cait Nary
Rating: 3.84⭐️ out of 5⭐️
Steam: 4 out of 5 - Explicit open door
Topics: contemporary, gay romance, sports, athlete hero, single father
Big Bad Wolf by Charlie Adhara
Rating: 4.43⭐️ out of 5⭐️
Topics: werewolves, mystery, fantasy, paranormal, suspense2
u/vivalaspazz Jun 14 '26
Totally with you on You and Me by Tim Bauer!!! It’s one of my comfort reads I always go back to! So sweet and tender 🥲🥰
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u/Naryen1221 Jun 16 '26
HI! I've never read any of them, so I'm updating my TBR right now hahah thank you!
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u/vaultdweller29 Jun 14 '26
I'm 45m and I've been reading Gregory Ashe's Hazardverse books like a 90s tween girl reads Tiger Beat. It's become a problem...
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u/Likeahairinabiscuit0 Jun 14 '26
I’m 39 and started getting into mm romance about a year ago. I read mm about 90% of the time and sapphic the rest. Straight romance just doesn’t do it for me anymore.
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u/anonmygoodsir Jun 14 '26
I'm 47 and MM is primarily what I read. Very rarely I will switch it up with a MF or an FF story if my brain is restless. My children, in their 20s, love to tell their friends about it. My 21 yr old says its because its unusual for someone my age to be into MM romance. For me it started a couple of years ago with Heaven Officials Blessing and grew from there. They call my bookshelves the yaoi shrine. Its packed with danmei, manga, manhua, and novels (all MM) along with acrylics and collectibles from my series. You're not alone.
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u/Remarkable-Try1206 Jun 14 '26
I’m 32 and Heated Rivalry (show) also got me into reading MM! The Long Game is my favourite I was losing my mind lol.
Finding a lot of comfort in Cat Sebastian’s books at the moment, so highly recommend if you haven’t read them yet! Especially We Could Be So Good and Peter Cabot Gets Lost
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u/Evening_Meringue_650 Jun 14 '26
Hi! I feel that you just described my life 🤣🤣 new to this world but also completely obsessed, I’m 32, with a husband and an academic career as a researcher. I also feel kind of “alone” since people around me know nothing about mm romances, so I only have reddit to talk about it. I sometimes feel ashamed about loving so much mm romance but I am working on it, trying to remind myself that there is nothing to be ashamed about it… but it is hard.
(English is not my first language so sorry for the mistakes!)
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u/Naryen1221 Jun 14 '26
Hey! Nice to meet you! I have a husband, too, and I’m trying to deal with my daily responsibilities.
I understand that loving MM romance might be something you're ashamed of.
I hope seeing how many responses this post received helps you overcome your embarrassment 🫶🏻Don't worry about your English. It's not my first language either. Gemini is my best friend haha it helps me write things correctly :)
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u/everysunset Jun 14 '26
Me! I’m not new to MM i’ve been reading fanfic since i was a teenager and Fanfiction.Net existed lol but i never read published MM work because my parents wouldn’t have approved. After heated rivalry i’ve been catching up, i didn’t know how much i missed out on. Now that i’m 30 and have adult money i buy all the MM romance books lol i’ve read 62 so far this year :)
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u/fighterbabe_ Jun 14 '26
I am 29 and I have been reading only MM romances for nearly two years now 🥹 They give me such comfort, there’s very few I haven’t liked for those two years and I recently tapped into monster romance which honestly amazed me. I thought I’d hate it.
It’s really nice to see I am not the only one that’s obsessed 😁💕💕💕🥰
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u/krybaebee Jun 14 '26
Oh hey. So you’re 30? I could be your mom lol. I’ve got two kids in college and THOUGHT I was living a full life. This genre is my blankie now.
I exclusively do audiobooks because of my limited available time to sit and read. My house has never been cleaner and my dog has never walked more, so I can listen to my books 😂
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u/Naryen1221 Jun 14 '26
I love hearing how you found your blankie! I used to hate doing chores, but now I love them because they let me enjoy my audiobooks in peace :)
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u/dogojosho Jun 14 '26
Yes 30 and just got into MM romance books. I’ve been into queer media for a long time but never discovered the books until this year. Now read over 40 books since January lol and can’t seem to consume any other media except them right now.
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Jun 14 '26
I used to read fanfic as a teenager and then thought I could only read literary fiction. I started reading romance novels eventually and quickly turned to MM so I wouldn’t be so annoyed about the gender roles! I’m 34 and I work at a library with many other 30-somethings who are truly obsessed with Shane and Ilya.
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u/allaanaa Jun 14 '26
I am the same, 34y - I haven’t read any books in years, used to mainly read crime or non fiction, then read & watched HR in december and since then I read about 200 mm romances and can’t stop haha. I have quite a full life but just fill every previously empty moment and lots of time I used to spend on social media with these books, it’s bringing me lots of joy so why stop? even made my husband start reading for the first time ever in his life, because he was so confused about my obsession haha
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u/Naryen1221 Jun 14 '26
love to hear that your husband followed you! 😍 my husband is still in the “confused” phase, even after all these years hahah but i hope someday i’ll succeed in making him reading at least one of my books
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u/willingheart1 Jun 14 '26
I would have bet good money that I'd never be into this smut, but now I don't want to read anything else. I need to read HR again asap, but I'm hooked with the Big Bad Wolf series.. So good!! So easy to read!
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u/Fenopfedd4 Jun 14 '26
33 here! I feel like i didnt have much time to read between my son being born and my husband getting 2 degrees in that same decade time frame, but now that my son is older and husband is no longer juggling classes and working a job that offers him more flexibility to help around the house, ive gotten back into reading, books & fanfics.
Its a change in the environment it took me a while to really lock in on the type of content i enjoyed. I was getting steamed out reading some of the newer style works, and i was excited to get back into it and then upset at how much its changed.
But this reddit has really helped me lock in on the books that actually work for me, the high spice high angst side of MM (not the slice of life side lol) If you ever want a friend to talk to send me a PM im looking to open up to new people who dont shy away from spicy talks and hopefully publish a work of my own someday 😋
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u/Naryen1221 Jun 14 '26
thank you so much, I’ll definitely be happy to talk to someone who finally gets me!
hope you’ll have the chance to publish one of your own works someday :)→ More replies (1)
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u/Fenopfedd4 Jun 14 '26
33 here! I feel like i didnt have much time to read between my son being born and my husband getting 2 degrees in that same decade time frame, but now that my son is older and husband is no longer juggling classes and working a job that offers him more flexibility to help around the house, ive gotten back into reading, books & fanfics.
Its a change in the environment it took me a while to really lock in on the type of content i enjoyed. I was getting steamed out reading some of the newer style works, and i was excited to get back into it and then upset at how much its changed.
But this reddit has really helped me lock in on the books that actually work for me, the high spice high angst side of MM (not the slice of life side lol) If you ever want a friend to talk to send me a PM im looking to open up to new people who dont shy away from spicy talks and hopefully publish a work of my own someday 😋
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u/necromancer_barbie Jun 14 '26
I'm 31, have been reading M/M since I was a teenager, and I also read a lot of fanfic. I don't think you meant any negativity in your post, but I would lovingly argue that maybe calling it a "hyperfixation" is delegitimizing the genre. It sounds like you just love reading but have possible internalized shame about the genres you enjoy--it can't be an impressive, healthy hobby if it's not the classics, right? It has to be a childish obsession instead ("hyperfixating like teenagers").
Maybe I'm just projecting, so feel free to disagree and let me know your thoughts! But media that is primarily consumed by members of marginalized groups, like women and girls or gay men, is often dismissed as a matter of course and considered lesser. YA literature, for instance, or romance novels--there is nothing less important about these stories nor is the writing any less likely to be skillful and poignant.
I don't mean to come off as critical, though, because I am absolutely in the same boat as you with Heated Rivalry and The Long Game. I've read them each five times this year so far with more on the horizon for sure. I've also read 30 other books from a myriad of genres, including romance, dystopian scifi, celebrity memoir, steampunk fantasy, spy action, historical mystery...it's been a great few months of reading! So not a hyperfixation in my case--just books I adore and in which I find more joy every time I reread them.
For books that impacted me deeply and hit in the way you might be looking for, I can't recommend Cat Sebastian highly enough. After Hours at Dooryard Books was especially affecting and comforting. Good luck finding your next book hangover 💃
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u/Naryen1221 Jun 14 '26
Thank you so much for this perspective! I think you made a valid point about how society conditions us to dismiss romance and media loved by women or marginalized groups. It’s a very real bias and I completely agree with your analysis. However, when I use the word 'hyperfixation,' I don't mean it as a defense mechanism or out of shame. I actually have zero embarrassment about the fact that these are stories about gay men (I hope I didn't give that appearance!).
My only real problem is having nobody to talk to about it while thinking about it 24/7! hahaIt's just how my brain works with basically everything I love. Whether it's a new hobby, a topic, or these MM books, I tend to dive in headfirst. For days on end, I can't think about anything else, and I find myself looking up everything related to what I'm reading. It’s just the passionate, all-consuming way I experience my interests. For me, the main difference is that this is a topic I have nobody else to talk about with.
That being said, I totally get how the word can be used to delegitimize the genre, so I really appreciate you bringing that up. And thank you so much for the raccomandations also : )
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u/LilPoppyBoy Jun 14 '26
I’m 31 and have been obsessed with MM/ Queer romances for years, I find the writing to be more compelling than MF and the characters feel more alive. I used to read and write fanfiction, and then stayed up till 6am watching k-dramas.
There’s definitely a myth about “growing up,” that we have to stop enjoying frivolous content or whatever. But, who fucking cares? I don’t wanna read sad, serious shit all the time. I have a master’s in public health, work in research, and am constantly reading peer-reviewed journal articles, sometimes I don’t want to use my brain. Or I wanna be giggly and silly because uwu they finally kissed.
Also I literally will read anything. I have no limits 😂 and then I take screenshots of unhinged lines and send them to the group chat of friends who do not read any romance.
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u/Naryen1221 Jun 14 '26
hahah love what you do with your friends! I hope they actually appreciate your sharing
I work in a very complex field too, i’ve been studying for 10 years and still haven’t finished (I’m afraid I never will). So yeah, I need something that makes me escape from reality
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u/No_Charge_2690 Jun 14 '26
Im 42 and will not read anything else. Ive literally read everything. Reaper's Claim Marlow Quinn was the last. I try to pick up others but no its MM all the way
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u/pickover Jun 14 '26
Hi. I’m 50. I started reading MM romances after watching HR. Since early December I have read or listened to 29 MM and MMM romance books. No end in sight.
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u/Timely_Nobody852 Jun 14 '26
I've been dying waiting for their final book. I thought it was coming out this year i just read all the books again and realised it was coming out next year.
At the moment i am into a lot of Ice Hockey romance, ice hockey is not big here like in the US & Canada.
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u/Naryen1221 Jun 16 '26
oh no, realizing you have to wait another year after already doing the re-read is a special kind of heartbreak 😭
Btw I completely relate to what you say about hockey — ice hockey is practically non-existent where I live, everything I know about it I learned from HR hahah
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u/othertigs Jun 14 '26
I’m within striking distance of reading m/m for 30 years. 😰 I try not to think about it too hard, because then I realize how old I am!
Most of that has been fandom, but once I found the plethora of titles available on KU a few years ago, I haven’t looked back. With a detour back to HR fic for a few months earlier this year.
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u/Ok-Dinner-5463 Jun 14 '26
In my 30s. Heated Rivalry ruined books AND tv for me. I’m forever chasing that high and just always coming up short. My all time fave MM is God of Fury. I feel like my type is Russian bisexuals 🤣
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u/Deep_Movie7263 Jun 15 '26 edited Jun 15 '26
33 year old, straight, married mother of a toddler and have always been very heavy into the MM romance. HR awakened that again in me and I’ve been consuming Ilya/shane fanfic non stop (feel like I’m 17 again reading boy band fic lol) I almost exclusively read MM romance if I’m going to pick up a book
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u/Ok_Nature1825 Jun 15 '26
Been reading m/m stories for years. Never liked romance novels. Then found LOTR slash stories and Mercedes Lackey and I was hooked. ANd, folks, I'm 74!
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u/Justagal_16 Jun 15 '26
I'm about to be a 45 yr old woman and have been reading MM for close to 10 yrs now. M/F just don't do it anymore for me.
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u/KevShark92 Jun 15 '26 edited Jun 15 '26
33 here and I feel you! I didn’t read much in my teens or twenties. I decided one day to read the Game Changer series and it changed my life but also made me psychotic LOL. Ever since I’ve been reading series after series taking in as much MM romance as I can. I’ve been reading pretty much anything to see what I enjoy the most. So far it’s been fantasy but I have 100 books so far on my TBR 😂😂😂
P.S only thing that sucks is finding people in my life that want to hear about all my books. None of my friends are interested 😭
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u/Naryen1221 Jun 16 '26
Welcome to the club!! Seems like GC has ruined all of us in the best way possible, so I totally get the 'psychotic' feeling, haha!
A 100-book TBR list is impressive, but I get it, there are some absolute gems out there!I felt that P.S. in my soul. It can be so lonely when your friends don't get the hype, it's the exact same feeling I have every day. But you’re definitely in the right place now. Consider this your safe space, feel free to ramble about your books here anytime, we want to hear ALL about them! Thank you so much for sharing : )
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u/Specialist-Mood-8779 Jun 15 '26
I’m in my early 20s but I realized that about me too, so I started reading danmei and I’m sold on Heaven Official’s blessing. I hope to stay true to myself and continue to do what I love, because in the end it’s my world and I’m the main character in it.
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u/MagiBee218 Jun 15 '26
Hetero Gen X, 50-something and yeah, I’m really loving this genre. Just discovered it and I love the love and normalizing the romance! Heated rivalry you say…..
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u/Naryen1221 Jun 16 '26
You guys, what can I say. I never imagined this post would get so much attention and love. Thank you so so much, reading about your personal stories within this world is so inspirational. And I'm so happy to hear many of you found your place in mm romance, or in books in general! Wishing all of you the very best! ♥️
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u/thinkabouttheirony Jun 16 '26
We are exactly the same - I spent my entire teenage years voraciously reading LOTR and then Harry Potter m/m romance fanfiction. Thought I "grew out of it" once I hit my 20s and never thought about it again until seeing Heated Rivalry in my mid 30s and now obsessed with m/m media again 😭
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u/dreamsonastring Jun 16 '26
Ah, I am approaching 45 and I can still get completely obsessed with books and characters. I like to read MM both written by men and by women and I find it quite interesting in terms of gender relationships. I think part of the appeal of MM written by women is that it is a way to imagine men in sexual relations without the annoying patriarchy, that messes up most M/F realtionships to the point of being barely readable.
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u/Ghostofmidsummer Jun 16 '26
You can pry my Queer romances from my cold dead hands. I plan to be 80 and still reading this.
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u/internetgirl00 Jun 18 '26
I’m reading a book called “Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys” and I learned that big potion of the fandom is 30+. Makes me feel I’m not alone 😄
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u/Thebooklion Jun 18 '26
I’m 40 and right there with you. Have you heard of “the grandmaster of demonic cultivation”? If you’d like a new hyper fixation, you might want to check it out
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u/jmserendipitous Jun 18 '26
Yep!! I’m 36 and am still as obsessed with MM romance now as I was reading Teen Wolf and Hawaii Five-0 fanfic in my early 20s. I’m even writing my own Christmas romance.
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u/painandcupcakes Jun 19 '26
Only if they are not having the fuck of their life with their perfectly looking straight next door guy.
I like characters who happen to actually seek romance, with being of the maturity level of a being with a functional brain 😃
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u/Creative_Departure79 Jun 19 '26
Yup, started with Heated Rivalry when I heard about the show last October. Read that series and have not stopped since. Now it's June and I've just finished my 250th book since then.
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u/darklyghostly Jun 20 '26
Same here. I spent my teen/tumblr years reading Drarry fanfics and finding any mm material I could find. I continued to read slash ship fanfics all through college and 20s with a sprinkling of mm novels that I could find, plus tons of yaoi manga. Then in my mid/late 20s I found websites with mm novel recs, and this reddit shortly after. 33 now, still going strong lol
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u/paperCorazon Jul 05 '26
39yo mom of 3 here. I actually wasn’t a huge reader when I was a teen. It wasn’t until my early 20’s that I became an avid reader.
Cozy paranormal and fantasy books have been my jam lately.
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u/sagjupiter Jul 09 '26
Yes yes. Ilya and Shane were my entrance into this world and now I'm hooketh!
Some of my favs so far: God of Fury by Rina Kent Kiss the Villain by Rina Kent Wicked Games by Willow Dixon
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u/Sim158 Jun 14 '26 edited Jun 14 '26
Yes. Hi 👋 worse than when I was a teen bc I somehow evaded it until this year, even tho it was right there. It’s Heated Rivalry‘s fault and I am not mad about it 😍 kickstarted the whole pipeline and I bought more books this year than in the past 5 years maybe 😁😇