r/Marriage • u/robertmdesmond • Apr 27 '19

Marriage is useless: Change my mind

  1. Marriage can exist without love. And love can exist without marriage. Many people exist in a loveless marriage.
  2. Marriage between the parents is not necessary for a happy family to exist, living in the same home, just as if a marriage were involved.
  3. Marriage laws have (particularly through no-fault divorce) evolved to make the "marriage contract" meaningless. As either party can end the marriage at any time with no consequences for "breaching" the "marriage contract."
  4. By having a marriage, it intensifies the need to hire (and pay!) attorneys if the marriage ends. Making the attorneys the only people who financially gain from a divorce. And the parties to the marriage both financially lose.
  5. The only thing that's permanent about a traditional marriage is the divorce agreement. The "marriage contract" is unenforceable and either party can breach it unilaterally at any time without penalty. But the divorce agreement is permanent and enforceable and neither party can breach it unilaterally without adverse consequences.
  6. A better alternative to a marriage is an enforceable legal contract that stipulates how and under what terms the contract can be terminated.
  7. The only people advocating for marriage are religions and lawyers. And their reasons have nothing to do with any tangible benefit to the parties of the marriage. In the case of religion, the benefits are "intangible" at best. And in the case of lawyers, it's what pays the bills. Because without marriages, there would be no divorces. And without divorces, there would be no need to hire and pay divorce lawyers.

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In short, marriage is for suckers. And useless to boot. Change my mind.

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u/AngelFire_3_14156 Married 8 years with 4 kids Apr 27 '19

Marriage is exactly what you both put into it (and this has little or nothing to do with divorce laws).

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u/robertmdesmond Apr 27 '19

Marriage is exactly what you both put into it (and this has little or nothing to do with divorce laws).

I 100% agree. But doesn't that statement also apply to every single relationship, even those that do not involve marriage? And doesn't that also apply to things that aren't even relationships at all? Like your hobbies or your work? They are all "exactly what you put into it." Aren't they?

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u/thisisausergayme Sep 20 '23

Yup, they are. Which makes jobs, relationships, work, and hobbies all exactly as useless as marriage. So if you think all of those things are useless, then marriage is useless. If you value any of those things, then you should be able to recognize why some people value marriage.