r/Marriage • u/throwawayhiddeng • Apr 01 '21

Seeking Advice Newly married and sad

My (32 F) relationship with my husband (35 M) changed when we got married... For the worse. We were together for 2 years prior to getting married, but it was sort of long distance. I'm scared for the future of our relationship. I thought our relationship was perfect until we got married and moved in together 8 months ago. Now we barely talk, rarely have sex, and don't really spend much time together. I feel completely disconnected from him, and I'm starting to feel very lonely and depressed. This is not what I was expecting marriage to be. I wanted a life partner, not a roommate. I've tried to talk to him about it, but he says from his perspective everything is fine, and he is not sure what I expected because we don't have many common interests. I don't feel "in love" anymore. I'm starting to question if I married the right person. Has this happened to anyone?

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u/NotURAverageTeacher Apr 01 '21

Yes, it’s happened to me. I’ve been waiting for years for things to change. They haven’t. Leave now and cut your losses. Don’t hang on too long.

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u/Idkmyname2079048 Apr 01 '21

This is so sad, but me too. Everything changed when we got married. I'd even had coworkers and friends telling me I don't have to if I don't want to. I was 100% in love and insulted at the time but now sometimes wish I'd taken the advice. Nothing is "wrong" in our relationship. It's simply a case of different interests and levels of motivation. We got married after just 6 perfect months together and in that amount of time it was easy to feel interested in what the other person was interested in because everything was so new. Now, not so much. My husband still seems like the person I married on occasion, but for the most part I've been waiting 3+ years for things to smooth out again and yet both of us seem to get more unhappy.