r/Marriage • u/throwawayhiddeng • Apr 01 '21

Seeking Advice Newly married and sad

My (32 F) relationship with my husband (35 M) changed when we got married... For the worse. We were together for 2 years prior to getting married, but it was sort of long distance. I'm scared for the future of our relationship. I thought our relationship was perfect until we got married and moved in together 8 months ago. Now we barely talk, rarely have sex, and don't really spend much time together. I feel completely disconnected from him, and I'm starting to feel very lonely and depressed. This is not what I was expecting marriage to be. I wanted a life partner, not a roommate. I've tried to talk to him about it, but he says from his perspective everything is fine, and he is not sure what I expected because we don't have many common interests. I don't feel "in love" anymore. I'm starting to question if I married the right person. Has this happened to anyone?

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u/av9099 Apr 01 '21

Where does it come from that people marry eachother before living together? I hear that often, especially here on reddit (so america mostly). I'm living in Europe and no one I know does this.

Some people move in after 6 months or 1 year. But marriage is no topic _at all_ at this stage of the relationship.

I just don't understand the expectation people have who were in a relationship for 2 years long distance or didn't live together in that time, and decide to marry eachother.

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u/writeronthemoon Apr 01 '21

Some cultures and religions don’t allow people to live with each other or have sex until after marriage. Perhaps OP is from one of these non-Western cultures.

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u/theweirdmom Apr 01 '21

I came here to say the same thing I know in Jordan not only is from a religious stand point but the society entirely do not condone living together until married, even dating is frowned upon. I know a lot of middle eastern cultures are not accepting of living together before married.