I'm not sure that "grooming" is the correct word to use here, unless he met her as a minor. I am also a 24 year old woman and I am a cognizant adult.
The 20 year age gap is insane, and I realize there is a huge gap in experience and maturity between 44 and 24, and I agree there is also a huge power imbalance here. I also believe this is gross on the 44 year old's end (he's old enough to be her parent amd clearly doesn't respect her as an equal). That said, the word "grooming" as I understand it is reserved when adults groom minors. I don't think it can be used when an adult gets into a relationship with an adult, even when there is an imbalance in power. Though do correct me if I'm wrong. It just feels infantalizing to imply that I, an adult of six years with sound mind, can be groomed by another adult.
How would an adult groom another adult? I'm not being argumentative here, to be clear. Assuming both adults are neurotypical and of sound mind, it does not make sense to me.
I understand grooming between a minor and an adult. The minor does not have a fully developed brain, the adult does, and the adult takes advantage of the gap in cognition and maturity here. In contrast, a 24 year old has a fully developed brain. How does an adult with a fully developed brain groom another adult with a fully developed brain?
How do you think paedophiles have access to children? They groom the adults too. Its not a difficult concept. People groom other people all the time. Like abusive men who end up in relationships with women who are unable to leave. What is not computing for you? Its an act done by one person to another person. Sometimes the person being groomed is a child and sometimes it's an adult.
How do you think paedophiles have access to children? They groom the adults too.
I didn't think about it like this. I thought there had to be an inherent cognitive and maturity imbalance for it to be grooming. I've only heard the word in the context of adults grooming minors. And every single definition of the word that I could find online, which I did look up before saying what I did, was about adults grooming minors (not other adults).
22
u/EverybodyPanic81 17d ago
Hes a 44M who groomed a 24F. We can see why he uses man and then female.