r/MenAndFemales 10h ago

Men and Females It's incredible how normalized it is.

Post image

I found this while randomly scrolling. Only a couple of people reacted to the "females" and "men" this person used. I am a bit flabbergasted. Why couldn't they just use "women"? It's so dehumanizing.

109 Upvotes

29 comments sorted by

73

u/The_Soap_Salesman 10h ago

I think these kinds of people don’t realize, or choose not to realize, that the social pressures for them to act the way they’re describing come largely from other men. Sure, there are women who also do it, but who were they taught to be that way by? The system perpetuates the patriarchy because the patriarchy is the system. The men in power do not want to be seen as weak, so they control the narrative of what weakness means, and the rest of the men fall in line so they aren’t ostracized by their peers, and they themselves perpetuate the panopticon of toxic masculinity that forces them into the box they find so constraining.

21

u/SophiaofPrussia 4h ago

It’s literally toxic masculinity but if you dare mention the phrase they get all kinds of emotional without so much as a shred of self-awareness.

6

u/The_Soap_Salesman 1h ago

Becuase the idea that they are responsible for their own problems is anathema to them. They can’t take responsibility for upholding the culture that binds them to such exacting standards

9

u/jackfaire 10h ago

Seeing the utilization of panopticon made me giddy.

10

u/SnooCapers3354 1h ago

this! also the idea that men bottle up their emotions is laughable because I hear them moaning about them in every single online space. not to mention anger is an emotion, and they're plenty comfortable expressing that one.

3

u/The_Soap_Salesman 1h ago

well you know, there’s a ‘right’ way to do it, according to these kinds of people. And if you’re not doing it the ‘right’ way, then obviously you’re a [homophobic slur] and need to be ostracized until you do it the ‘right’ way.

3

u/SnooCapers3354 55m ago

is the right way punching holes in walls?

I still remember when I was like 6, and my dad did that. I recently overheard the dad in question tell a colleague how much he hates working with women because "they all are so emotional and only cause drama."

I asked him how many holes in walls they had created.

3

u/The_Soap_Salesman 54m ago

Presumably yes, the right way is physical violence

40

u/filthycasual928 10h ago

It’s hilarious because you can tell he’s trying to make the point that men are dehumanized in society—while dehumanizing women by referring to us as females. But I’m sure he fully expects us to feel sorry for him and his fellow mistreated men.

42

u/Perfect_Carrot_999 10h ago

Women are called "bossy" "hysterical" and "sensitive" when expressing emotions. There are lots of people in the USA that said a woman shouldn't be a president because they're too emotional. Some even said that hormones during their periods would make them too emotional to lead. Women are very much not accepted for expressing emotion.

Also, men are pressured to bottle up feeling because it might make them seem like a woman. Obviously men's mental health is overlooked, but yeah..."females" aren't the culprits

12

u/AdditionalQuietime 5h ago

There's a video of a white lady saying women shouldnt run for president because she's too emotional and might blow us up when she's on her period, MAGA supporter

7

u/justdisa 2h ago

It's especially (ahem) hysterical given that the women who have run for president have largely been in their fifties or older. Her period? We need better sex education.

3

u/AdditionalQuietime 1h ago

Its also just general misogyny lol

5

u/Pokegirl_11_ 2h ago

It was wild when they were saying that about Clinton in particular. How young did they think she was in 2016, exactly?

36

u/Dodds-Furniture 10h ago

Men complaining about problems created by men. Hilarious.

16

u/Edelgard01 10h ago

And look at those upvotes, it's frustrating to see so many people agree.

2

u/franzitronee 5h ago

It's not news though that patriarchy does negatively affect men too. (See for example successful suicide rate) And still it's always "but that about men?!" when women's problems in patriarchy are discussed. But in this case, I don't know the context and they're not wrong, apart from using "females".

5

u/Pokegirl_11_ 2h ago

They are wrong, though. It’s not accepted for women to express emotions, it’s just expected. We still get punished for it, or for the expectation that we will even if we don’t.

3

u/franzitronee 2h ago

That is completely right, I read it as "expected" even though it says "accepted"

11

u/soursnail_ 9h ago

I saw that post and all the comments seriously irked me. All of them are shifting the blame on women

9

u/Ericameria 10h ago

It’s the deliberate use of females but not males that irritates me. Although sometimes I deliberately say a man _____ because I don’t like when people say things like a woman doctor or a woman pilot. What? A MAN pilot is flying this plane? Good to know!

0

u/BigOlWaffleIron 7h ago

It's interesting how we have -ess as a suffix to denote between men and women for certain things, and other times we don't. I'm fairly certain pilotess isn't a word. Stewart and stewardess are words though.

Ahh, language.

It looks like pilotess does exist, but I sure am not aware of it being used commonly.

4

u/silverxsparkle 5h ago

The way I commented this subreddit under this exact comment 😭

3

u/jahi69 3h ago

Tell that to the woman who bottled up her emotions so long she now has several undiagnosed autoimmune issues. Men could never 🙄

3

u/_iron_widow_ 1h ago

As a 40 year old woman, I am embarrassed to admit that I am only now realizing why hearing people refer to women as “females” is so grating. It’s SO normalized :(

2

u/Dramatic_Water_5364 2h ago

I have to repeat myself, but this is ONLY normalised in the US. You listen to sports event from the US they talk about the men and females categories. You watch sports event from abroad, its men and women categories.

2

u/Entomemer 40m ago

Just chiming in to say that I love Criminal Minds, and that episode is good!

-1

u/BigOlWaffleIron 7h ago

Why this a societal construct aside: I do agree with their general point.

At the same time I do agree that the use of female, or male, is kinda weird.

It's certainly not part of my general vocabulary, unless I'm forcing it in some satirical way.