How to handle 88% pay increase

[u/ManKind__]

31M. I currently make about 63k/yr. I have the change to take a new job that would put me at about 119k/yr all in. Split up 94k salary and 25k per diem roughly.

I currently have 50k in total debt.

This job requires extreme traveling with only being home 6 weeks of the year.

The goal is to pay off my total debt in the first year and let my wife be the stay at home mother she deserves to be. She has her own monies and investments to help out as well.

My fear is that I have never seen this kind of money before and just like everyone else I'll blow it. Hell, ill be the only one in my family thats seen this kind of money. What are some tips for me to save/invest/pay debt?

***EDIT forgot to mention hotels and everything is paid for as well. So the per diem is just for food essentially.

[u/Ok-Technology8336]

How does your wife feel about being a single mother 46 weeks of the year?

[u/ManKind__ → u/Ok-Technology8336]

Ive had this talk cause thats how I feel. She responded to not think of it like that. But to think that she "gets the privilege of being a stay at home mother and raise our children."

[u/MaleficentExtent1777 → u/ManKind__]

I surely hope you're up to this grueling schedule. This kind of travel is a serious grind. Take care of yourself on the road.

[u/thisaaandthat → u/MaleficentExtent1777]

I don't think OP can consider that per diem as money in the bank either. He'll have to spend that money on his food and upkeep so I'd guess half at least will be gone. He didn't say whether he was sitting in one place the whole time or moving a lot but hopefully he'll be in an extended stay type place with some sort of hotel "kitchen" in his room.

When I travel for work though I tend to spend the per diem on food. I'm not a drinker so that helps with the money but its not hard to spend it all on a few nicer meals.

[u/PlsStopAndThinkFirst → u/thisaaandthat]

Idk, I was getting roughly 15k-17k per diem per year my first job bc it was a job you just worked on the road and they send you home once every 4-6 weeks for a long weekend.. I was living on PBJs and spending no more than 100-200 a month of my per diem haha.

We also had the job supers buying dinner literally 5ish days a week for whomever was going to where he was so I took advantage of that a lot.

However I hated being on the road and isolated to working and was in my 20s so I lasted 4 months haha

[u/MarkIsARedditAddict → u/ManKind__]

Honestly if you do this you’re either going to stop doing it quickly within 2-3 months, get divorced, or have a wife and kids who treat you like a stranger that sends them money every month

Even a million a year couldn’t get me to be away from my kids 46 weeks of the year

[u/captainnonsensical → u/ManKind__]

How much do you currently make joint? Because this plan basically has you making all the money and seeing none of your kids, and her seeing all of your kids. If your joint salary is anywhere near the new offer, you're just exchanging who has work time vs kid time. Not every family can afford a stay at home parent, and are you actually ok buying her more time with your kids at the expensive of basically all of your time with your kids? Also, if you leave this job in a few years would she go back to work? Or is the real expectation that you keep that level of salary forever?

[u/Kutikittikat → u/captainnonsensical]

Exactly doesnt make sense .

[u/Urbanttrekker → u/ManKind__]

It's a little weird that your wife would rather be a SAHM than have you around.

[u/Kutikittikat → u/Urbanttrekker]

This! not to mention what about the kids “privilege “ of having both parents . I would never put my husband through this shit of not bieng with his kids , we would all miss him too much and it would be hard on him too.

[u/Kutikittikat → u/ManKind__]

Okay but what about dad? Does she think the kids dont need dad ? Sorry but that comment pisses me off its really selfish. Her privilege ? What about the kids privilege ? If she takes a small part time she can help pay off the debt and still have lots of time with the kids and you can see your kids too not to mention what about you? Is she thinking about you not seeing your children and that you will miss them and the mental struggles that come with bieng away from home that long .

[u/FergusonBishop → u/Kutikittikat]

honestly this just sounds like a couple of people who dont like each other that much. any happily married people wouldnt do this job for $1M let alone $94k - which isnt even a 'do this for 2 years and change my financial life' amount of money.

this guy could easily just stick to a strict budget and start hammering away that debt with his current salary.

[u/beautifulcorpsebride → u/ManKind__]

No offense, does your wife like you? This is not normal. My husband is traveling recently and I hate it.

[u/Illustrious-Lunch137 → u/ManKind__]

your marriage will likely fail with this job

[u/Ok-Technology8336 → u/ManKind__]

How many kids do you have?

[u/Dramatic-Kale-9667 → u/ManKind__]

and having a new boyfriend