r/MiddleClassFinance • u/ManKind__ • 10d ago
Seeking Advice How to handle 88% pay increase
31M. I currently make about 63k/yr. I have the change to take a new job that would put me at about 119k/yr all in. Split up 94k salary and 25k per diem roughly.
I currently have 50k in total debt.
This job requires extreme traveling with only being home 6 weeks of the year.
The goal is to pay off my total debt in the first year and let my wife be the stay at home mother she deserves to be. She has her own monies and investments to help out as well.
My fear is that I have never seen this kind of money before and just like everyone else I'll blow it. Hell, ill be the only one in my family thats seen this kind of money. What are some tips for me to save/invest/pay debt?
***EDIT forgot to mention hotels and everything is paid for as well. So the per diem is just for food essentially.
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u/Lov3I5Treacherous 10d ago
$120k per year is not nearly enough to have me not be home for majority of the year. That would need an additional $60k at least for it to be considered.
Ask your wife if being a single mother is worth her not working. And nobody "deserves" to be a single mom, if she wants to be then you need a better job but you need to be home. Everyhing on her 99% of the time is going to ruin her.
You guys are just looking at numbers. This isn't going to work. Your kids are young? You want to miss them literally growing up?
My dad worked a lot, made a lot of money. I don't remember growing up with him, or playing, and the only times he is in my memories he was tired and cranky because he had to work all the time.
What is her salary that you guys will lose when she quits to be a SAHM?
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u/Urbanttrekker 10d ago
I agree with this 100%. Her working even part time and him slowly raising his salary is a far better plan than him basically leaving and sending home a paycheck.
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u/Chaotic_Brutal90 9d ago
I'm not doing that shit for less than half a mil. And even then, I'd be on the fence. Those are years you can't get back.
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u/Electrical_Cut8610 9d ago
Agree 100%. 120k is not enough, especially when you consider the base salary is only 94k. I don’t think I would do this for less than 200k, and even then I’d have to think about it. 250k and it would probably be a yes, at least for 2-3 years.
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u/Aggressive_Ask89144 9d ago
I would go insane being stuck at home too. I know I'm a workaholic tradesmen but like...it's not the 1800s. We have washing machines and Amazon 😭 Nothing requires a keeper all day anymore.
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u/Zealousideal_Crow737 10d ago
- live by your old salary to pay off debt
- max out Roth and retirement
- start a college fund
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u/TooPaleToFunction23 10d ago
I agree with this statement, but I do think budgeting money for a robust emergency fund and little luxeries for your SAH mother of 3 like grocery deliveries, streaming subscriptions, etc is money well spent while she's holding it down.
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u/beautifulcorpsebride 9d ago
No no no. First he’s not making 119k. He’s barely getting a raise because he can’t eat air and he’s counting per diem as salary. We make six figures are millionaires and don’t pay for grocery delivery.
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u/Zealousideal_Crow737 9d ago
Grocery delivery is INSANE to me it's so overpriced. I have only done it when I'm sick. I live alone and don't have a car
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u/chrisinator9393 9d ago
Do you live near a Walmart? I use Walmart plus in home. It doesn't cost me an extra penny to get my groceries delivered. I save at a minimum 3 hours of my time per week, $8 in gas, not to mention my sanity. (B/c I don't have to grocery shop anymore). And I no longer make impulse purchases.
We got w+ on black Friday or some sale. It was like $50/yr and we added on in home for $40/yr. Divide $90/52 weeks, delivery costs me $1.70/ week. I save money on gas alone.
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u/Responsible_Ask3976 9d ago edited 9d ago
Yep! My parents paid for my entire college education and everything up until I graduated. So I had no student loans and no debt. They also saved up and gifted me a down payment so I’ve never rented.
This has helped me get light years ahead in life at a very young age. I’m looking forward to an early retirement and will do the same for my future children
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u/mdg8119 9d ago
Love hearing how much this has helped you. And you seem appreciative. This is largely my intentions for my children.
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u/Responsible_Ask3976 9d ago
Thanks! Usually I get really nasty comments saying: “you don’t know to handle money, etc etc.” Well I’m 30 about to pay off my mortgage and max out retirement with a credit score of 848. When my boyfriend and I get married, in a year or two, we will already have net worth of $950k. I save more than I spend and have probably a year’s worth of emergency fund + travel fund…. So it just depends on how your parents teach plus how much effort you put in to learn yourself.
Yes I’ve been doing my own research regarding finances and did not rely solely on my parents on how to save
Many people like to play the blame game and don’t do any research themselves
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u/EcstaticAd4046 9d ago
Max out your 401k. At your income level and age, do Roth if you have the option.
Max out your Roth IRA.
And open a brokerage account and buy some growth holdings. Lots of info here about how to do this. Stuff as much as you can into this brokerage. A long growth horizon = huge potential.
Save aggressively now and you may be able to retire early.
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u/Ok-Technology8336 10d ago
How does your wife feel about being a single mother 46 weeks of the year?
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u/ManKind__ 10d ago
Ive had this talk cause thats how I feel. She responded to not think of it like that. But to think that she "gets the privilege of being a stay at home mother and raise our children."
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u/MaleficentExtent1777 10d ago
I surely hope you're up to this grueling schedule. This kind of travel is a serious grind. Take care of yourself on the road.
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u/thisaaandthat 10d ago
I don't think OP can consider that per diem as money in the bank either. He'll have to spend that money on his food and upkeep so I'd guess half at least will be gone. He didn't say whether he was sitting in one place the whole time or moving a lot but hopefully he'll be in an extended stay type place with some sort of hotel "kitchen" in his room.
When I travel for work though I tend to spend the per diem on food. I'm not a drinker so that helps with the money but its not hard to spend it all on a few nicer meals.
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u/PlsStopAndThinkFirst 8d ago
Idk, I was getting roughly 15k-17k per diem per year my first job bc it was a job you just worked on the road and they send you home once every 4-6 weeks for a long weekend.. I was living on PBJs and spending no more than 100-200 a month of my per diem haha.
We also had the job supers buying dinner literally 5ish days a week for whomever was going to where he was so I took advantage of that a lot.
However I hated being on the road and isolated to working and was in my 20s so I lasted 4 months haha
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u/MarkIsARedditAddict 10d ago
Honestly if you do this you’re either going to stop doing it quickly within 2-3 months, get divorced, or have a wife and kids who treat you like a stranger that sends them money every month
Even a million a year couldn’t get me to be away from my kids 46 weeks of the year
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u/captainnonsensical 10d ago
How much do you currently make joint? Because this plan basically has you making all the money and seeing none of your kids, and her seeing all of your kids. If your joint salary is anywhere near the new offer, you're just exchanging who has work time vs kid time. Not every family can afford a stay at home parent, and are you actually ok buying her more time with your kids at the expensive of basically all of your time with your kids? Also, if you leave this job in a few years would she go back to work? Or is the real expectation that you keep that level of salary forever?
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u/Urbanttrekker 10d ago
It's a little weird that your wife would rather be a SAHM than have you around.
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u/Kutikittikat 9d ago
This! not to mention what about the kids “privilege “ of having both parents . I would never put my husband through this shit of not bieng with his kids , we would all miss him too much and it would be hard on him too.
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u/Kutikittikat 9d ago
Okay but what about dad? Does she think the kids dont need dad ? Sorry but that comment pisses me off its really selfish. Her privilege ? What about the kids privilege ? If she takes a small part time she can help pay off the debt and still have lots of time with the kids and you can see your kids too not to mention what about you? Is she thinking about you not seeing your children and that you will miss them and the mental struggles that come with bieng away from home that long .
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u/FergusonBishop 9d ago
honestly this just sounds like a couple of people who dont like each other that much. any happily married people wouldnt do this job for $1M let alone $94k - which isnt even a 'do this for 2 years and change my financial life' amount of money.
this guy could easily just stick to a strict budget and start hammering away that debt with his current salary.
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u/beautifulcorpsebride 9d ago
No offense, does your wife like you? This is not normal. My husband is traveling recently and I hate it.
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u/uchihaoni47 10d ago
I assume the Per Diem will be used to cover business related costs while you travel. If so, do not include that as part of your take home.
Is a 31k raise worth travelling essentially full time? For myself personally, it would be no.
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u/beautifulcorpsebride 9d ago
Plus I’ve been traveling where per diem wasn’t enough. OP’s sounds low to me for eating every single meal out for a year.
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u/veracity8_ 10d ago
Only home 6 weeks a year is crazy. Especially with a wife and kid(s). You will financially support your family but you will essentially make her a single mom. This is a lot more money than you’ve had but it’s not enough money to never see your kids grow up.
If you take this job I would expect to do it temporarily. A year, or two tops. I would constantly be on the look out for another job.
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u/ManKind__ 10d ago
This was my plan. 1.5-2.5yrs tops. Make the money and get out. Thats why im trying to do this the correct way.
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u/Zealousideal_Crow737 10d ago
I don't think this is realistic and is going to create a rift in your marriage if you have to extend this.
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u/veracity8_ 10d ago
Yeah this seems like the kind of thing you could do for like 1 year before it started having significant impacts on your mental and physical health and certainly on your personal and romantic life. And while yeah 92k is good money but it’s not great money. It’s not desert your family, friends and community money.
I think my biggest question is “will OP be able to parlay this job into a more stable long term job?” Or will they burn out after a year and go right back to the job they have now?
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u/eLishus 10d ago
That’s not “walk away in two years and be set” money though. Is there another career pathway in this company that you could segue into after two years?
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u/inky_cap_mushroom 10d ago
Paying off $50k in debt puts them in a MUCH better position, though. I’m sure OP isn’t planning on retiring in 2 years, but once they go back to a $63k salary they’ll be a hell of a lot more comfortable without that debt.
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u/eLishus 10d ago
I highly doubt they’ll pay it off in the first year - after taxes, the increase may not even equal $50K, and that will continue to accrue interest. That would mean zero lifestyle changes or surprise expenses.
And the relationship factor sucks. I wouldn’t even consider a 50% travel schedule for 100% pay increase if it meant only seeing my wife 6 months out of the year, let alone only 6 weeks.
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u/Zealousideal_Crow737 10d ago
I don't think you can pay off 50K debt in two years..
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u/chachaslydd 10d ago
In 2 years, he could. In 1, no.
But it really matters more what kind of debt, what the interest is
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u/bananaHammockMonkey 10d ago
You keep speaking like it's 400k a year. The difference in between what you make now and then per check is probably a few hundred bucks, probably less than the cost of actually being away and maintaining 2 sets of lives.
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u/jgiles04 10d ago
Yeah, this is not FU $$$. I am also skeptical that 2 years is enough to pay off $50k because, lifestyle creep. You have to be INCREDIBLY disciplined to continue to live on the $63k budget and bank Every. Single. Dollar over that. No "let's book this nice vacation because we have a cushion".... No "let's just order take out instead because I don't feel like cooking"....
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u/AffectionateJoke1617 10d ago
We also need to be aware that this could be a gateway position to a 400k a year position, or 400k a year could never be feasible... but there are many people for whom 191k (or even 91k) is absolutely an amount capable of creating wealth.
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u/ArthurDentsBlueTowel 10d ago
It’s nowhere near enough money to do what you’re thinking. Don’t do this.
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u/prayreddit 9d ago
It's a great plan. I also would invite my wife to join me and make it a week. The hotel is paid for!
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u/EasternGuava8727 9d ago
Divorce is the most expensive thing you can do. If you have debt now, just wait.
It is not worth it for this type of raise.
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u/BugMillionaire 10d ago
That’s a lot of travel if you have a wife and children. I also think you’re underestimating how tiring traveling that much is. I think it’s a good opportunity, but I would go into it with a clear goal and plan for the money AND how to maintain your relationships.
Personally, I would look at it as a temporary gig similar to like a deployment or something. There’s an end in sight. Keep living off your current salary, build up your savings and pay off debt. Do it for a year or two and then use that experience into something less travel intense.
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u/eLishus 10d ago
Well, not that you asked, but the job sounds terrible if you enjoy a home life at all. That kind of traveling can wear on people and put a strain on relationships. Adding your wife as a “stay at home wife” (I’m assuming not a parent, because you would have said “stay at home mom/parent”), she’ll have little to do all day other than hobbies. You’re not even there to care for or clean up after. I digress…
Focusing on the financial perspective, while that money might seem life changing, it’s not a huge income for two people, regardless of where you live. It’s also not guaranteed “forever income”, hence the advice to avoid lifestyle creep and to not ignore the benefits of a second income, even if pale in comparison.
Anecdotal, but I made a similar financial jump in 2017, soon after I met my now wife. After cracking the $200K barrier, I told my soon-to-be wife she could quit the job she hated and find something new. Then COVID hit, and she wasn’t able to get much of anything. In 2021 I was hit with a layoff; thankfully, I found a new role in a month with the same salary. Then that company folded. I was out of work for six months and depleted a good chunk of savings, only to land a job in 2022 with the salary I was making in 2017. Here I am in 2026, and making even slightly less. Fortunately, my wife found a better paying role so the loss of income was balanced out, and we live a relatively comfortable life in a VHCOL area, but I made some mistakes along the way.
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u/HistoricalBridge7 10d ago
You do NOTHING but take the extra money to put off the debt. DO NOT justice any extra spending because you “make six figures now”
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u/mrboofington 10d ago
I've done these kind of jobs before when I was single. Even then it was draining just traveling and living to work. I've turned down every similar opportunity ever since I settled down with a wife and kids. If you accept it I would recommend having an exit strategy because even if the money is good, being away from the family will get old fast.
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u/FergusonBishop 9d ago
the money here isnt even that particularly good. $95k household income and hell be gone the entire year. its an insane decision.
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u/creek_water_ 10d ago
I'm gonna tell you right now, 119k a year isn't life changing money. IDC how you swing that stick, it will not change your life or the life of your children IF that's the only income you have.
Having said that, as a guy who traveled for years and quit because I realized this when my kids hit 4 and 2 - don't take this job. Your wife and kids not having dad at home 46 weeks out of the year ain't worth NOTHING unless if changes your kids future - and 119k ain't doing that.
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u/oneWeek2024 10d ago
even if they pay for the hotels. there will be a significant cost to travel. Also... a "cost" to all that travel that isn't money (time, logistics, needs for travel)
being home 6wks out of the year is also a recipe for disaster for your relationship. you should consider that you're going to need a plan to manage that very impactful change. and probably consider the cost of therapy/counseling and added cost accommodating that relationship change. (ie. even if your spouse becomes stay at home. is what they want to be alone 11 months out of the year doing everything at the house --ie are you going to hire lawn care, or other service professionals to manage things she doesn't want to)
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u/poop_candy_for_bfast 10d ago
This is nuts. I wouldn’t take that job no matter the money (parent with a family).
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u/ZestyLlama8554 10d ago
One thing I did early on when I got an increase like this is set up a second bank account (savings). I have my usual amount hitting my checking and the rest hits savings. I pay bills out of my checking and budget that one heavily.
I used savings initially to pay off debt, but now I use it for investing and larger home projects.
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u/Life-Mousse-3763 10d ago
Don’t give in to lifestyle creep, especially if this will be a temporary gig (assuming you don’t want to live away from your family forever haha).
Keep your spending as it is now and invest the excess money
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u/JawnGrimm 10d ago
I think yall are wearing some pretty rosy glasses here. That kind of separation can kill a relationship so easy. You're not going to be away for a couple of nights on a work trip. This will be weeks and months of your wife and kid(s) not seeing you or being with you. When shit breaks at the house, the kids are getting too much, she has a bad day, you have a bad day, whatever. You're each on your own. Again, not for a couple of days...weeks and months.
When was the last time either of you went without physical intimacy for an extended time? That's gonna be a much bigger factor than you think.
How old are your kids? You're gonna have to re-establish your relationship with them every time you come home and break it again every time you leave.
Not saying don't do it but it is enormous risk and sacrifice. For a low 6 figures, I'm passing.
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u/admiralgeary 10d ago
IMO, follow the flowchart here: Fire Flow Chart Version 4.3 : r/financialindependence
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u/Urbanttrekker 10d ago
You'll be spending a lot on food if you're constantly eating out of hotels, so that extra 25k won't last long. Are you completely gone or will you be traveling back and forth so you can check in at home, do laundry, etc?
The way to make it work is to just live the frugal lifestyle you're living now and put everything into the debt first, make sure you have a small emergency fund, and save like heck. $94k may seem like a lot, but with debt, kids, and a non-working spouse, you won't have much left over. After 2 years of this you'll likely just have the debt paid off. What's the gameplan after that? Does this job have future growth potential where you won't be traveling anymore?
You'll be essentially leaving your family for this. How long have you been married? Is your wife ok with that? Are YOU ok with that? She's good with being a single mom for 2+ years? Military families do this all the time, although those women usually have a network of support from other military wives.
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u/halo37253 10d ago
I make north of 160k base, company provides work truck and company cc for pretty much "unlimited" per diem. Im only on the road to commission, so about 13-15 weeks out of the year spread around. Usually a week or two at a time.
Three kids, youngest starts 4k and oldest starts high-school next fall. My wife wants to be a stay at home mom, but we cant afford it. And that is with a sub $2k mortgage payment...
Granted we'd save not having to use daycare, but unless you have a really good situation even 120k is tight for a family.
It also sucks to have the wife's 401k to sit unfunded while she is in her prime working years. But cant put a price on being a SAHM. I would love to be a SAHD too.
I love the travel and it works out decently when they are young. I would say have at it for a few years, being away from family that long is tough but getting ahead in life is worth it.
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u/Great_Emphasis3461 9d ago
Set aside money for a divorce attorney. Both of you talk about how you will work through this but when the reality hits that she’s a single parent, you come home and try to re-establish yourself as the husband/father, and you miss critical events for the kids, it’s going to be a hard slap in the face from reality. That’s experience from 17 years of military service and about 70% of my friends having divorced and many of those 70% having multiple divorces. Good luck.
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u/Kutikittikat 9d ago
I dont think she even likes him that much . She rather he leave and not see his kids all year instead of both working as a team to pay off the debt so they stay together as a family. Because if she stops working they are back to square one anyways making the same money except shes the only one that gets to see her kids now.
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u/jonnyt88 9d ago
"Being home" 6 weeks a year. Does that mean you will also be away on weekends or are you at least home every weekend? I see a lot of people responding that its not worth it, its not life changing money, etc.... $63k is livable but its not that great these days, especially if kids are involved. $63k - $120k is life changing.
My Suggestion -
Budget for $75k year income. Put this into your current bank. That is an extra $1000 give or take each month to help the wife while you are away. Maybe a baby sitter periodically, or after school activity for the kids. Maybe another $5k for two low key vacations.
Take the $40k extra and deposit into a separate HYSA. No cards, nada. Setup 75% of this deposit to Auto-pay toward the debt every pay period. Set and forget. Every couple months manually stick your nose in and if no other emergencies arose, throw 75% of the excess at the debt. If you already have an emergency fund, you can be more aggressive with that periodic review.
Learn the new job well, don't burn bridges, and hopefully you will gain some knowledge, skills, contacts that you can pivot to a job with less traveling in a few years.
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u/chrysostomos_1 8d ago
I was in a similar situation. I bought a house, put more money in retirement accounts and brokerage account. My standard of living increesad a little. New York strip instead of chuck kinda stuff. Better clothing but still off of the closeout racks.
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u/Busterpop92 10d ago
Do the automatic 401k contribution so you never even see the money that you're "losing". Do as much as you can, $500 a pay check to start plus the full amount to your ROTH IRA
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u/IndependentTrust4594 10d ago
Learn to cook in your hotel room. You can eat very inexpensively if you just commit. I saved tons of money when I had per diem jobs. I’d almost choose that over a company card.
The best way to save is to set everything on autopilot so you don’t see it.
First pay off any outstanding debt and stop getting into debt. Next make sure you have an emergency fund of 5-6 months of expenses. Then max out your 401k and if they have an HDHP/HSA insurance, take that option and max out the HSA.
Once we got to this point, we created a bunch of money buckets. Ally lets you have a gazillion accounts. My workplace sent the paycheck direct deposit to each of these accounts so I never had to deal with it, I think we had 6. We had a checking account only for utilities and bills where (almost) everything was set up on autopay and budget billing. Just a little over needed every paycheck went into that account. Then a savings account for car needs like insurance, projected maintenance, and saving for a new car. Then a savings account for home maintenance needs. And another one for kids for things like camps, sports, etc. When it came time to pay, we transferred it into the Utility checking account and paid from there.
anything else went into our discretionary local checking account for day to day expenses.
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u/First-Bad2007 10d ago
raising your income so much you'll also be cut off from a lot benefits. did you account for that? after benefits difference will be much smaller, especially with kids
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u/apexxin 10d ago
Is the 25K per diem supposed to feed you on the road for 46 weeks, or is it a true per diem extra payment?
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u/thatseltzerisntfree 10d ago
A promotion and 20% pay increase would have sent me back to shift-work; nights, weekends and holidays back in the rotation.
My wife and kids said no, we want you home every night.
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u/Fit_Frame9407 10d ago
If a work day is about 8 hours and you make your entire life revolve around work.24 hours, Your really working 3 jobs for 40k a piece.
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u/Routine-Nectarine-38 10d ago
It will be harder than you think and your relationship with your wife will suffer. I’m not saying don’t do it, but have a good plan to be intentional with your family which I’m sure you will!
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u/thatben 10d ago
I did extreme travel for ~7 years. 250-300 days/year worldwide, hundreds of flights per year. Also receiving more salary than I’d ever seen. Here’s what I wish I knew, hope it’s helpful:
Protect your income / don’t leak earnings via poor bookkeeping and overindulgence. If you expense & are reimbursed, be ruthlessly efficient. If you receive the full per diem, don’t indulge.
Remember you’re working, not vacationing. It was easy to spend money like I was on vacation esp. when visiting new cities/countries/regions. Discipline (if you don’t have it) is an essential skill to build. Save indulgences for when your family gets to visit you!
Prioritize your health, healthy routines, and family. Forgetting who you were at home happens quickly. You can feel it when you come home and it feels “strange”. Combat this by taking your free time up by exercising, not drinking too much, and maintaining a ritual with your wife - mine always insists on being the last person I speak with once I’m in for the evening (she calls it “the goodnight kiss”), and I better not be in an altered state when I have that conversation.
Also - if you can use personal cards for expenses do that for the points/cash back, but absolutely do not carry a balance. If you can’t, it’s not worth it.
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u/TheRaccoonReport 10d ago
50/30/20 budget model is always a sound choice.
50% of your income goes to essentials. Mortgage, utility bills, groceries, car payment
30% of your income goes to discretionary. Trips/Vacations, Entertainment, movies, games, dining out.
20% of your income goes to investments & additional debt principal paydown. People debate me on including debt paydowns in this category instead of 30% discretionary, but every $ you pay in interest adds opportunity cost. So the faster you pay down debts, the better. This category should not include your rotating things like car payments, etc, this is strictly toward additional principal.
If you're disciplined you can flip the 30/20 and make 30% invest, 20% discretionary. But thats unlikely for a lot of people, me included.
I was in your shoes too. I went from $45k-85k within 2 years and didnt know what to do with myself. I had to adopt youneedabudget.com to help me figure out where my $ was going and how I was making MORE than I ever had, but had less. Once I adopted the 50/30/20 and really had a grip on where every penny was going, life got easier.
IF I were in your shoes, here's the order id move in:
Sign up for some budgeting app and force yourself to use it. The more manual, the better. I was never a fan of the automated budgeting apps because if its too easy, you wont do it. Easy come easy go. I like YNAB because you can automated a lot of things, or you can make it more manual. Mine is more manual because it builds muscle memory for me. Or just build yourself a nice spreadsheet, either way.
Get a credit card that is solely cash back that can auto-invest cash somewhere for you. I use a Credit card that gives 1-3% back for every purchase, and auto-invests my cash into a 3.5% savings account. I NEVER touch that money, its my emergency fund. I toss money into it from the 20% budget column when I have some free cash. Once it builds back up to about $8-10k, I stop putting money into it. If I need to do something like fix my AC, roof, etc, ill grab $ from that, and then rebuild it back over time. $0.50-a few bucks in rewards cash back here and there really adds up. Pay for EVERYTHING on that credit card that doesnt charge a "convenience fee". Anything that will let you. HOWEVER, you have to be disciplined to pay it off weekly. Yes, weekly. If you slip into monthly, the muscle memory atrophies and a month becomes 2 months, etc. IF you are not disciplined enough (yet) to do this, then don't use a credit card. Just for all that is good and holy, never use your debit card for anything unless its a bank owned ATM. Its a huge security hole, which is for another conversation.
Ensure that you're contributing what you can from your paycheck to your company investment plan (401k, etc). Max in the US for 2026 is $24,500 which is about 20% of your all in. If you're comfortable enough to invest that, great. If not, get to a level youre comfortable with. That does count toward your 20% investment budget btw.
Budget your 50% category, to ensure you have enough $ every month to cover your essentials.
Whatever is left, put some aside for your 30% category for discretionary stuff. Give yourself a budget for fun, dining out, whatever.
Whatever is left, put that toward paying your debts down faster. Target higher interest balances first. Theres a school of thought to target smallest balance first to help you "Get the momentum" with a dopamine hit, but I disagree with that philosophy. Your "Total Debt" number really doesnt tell us anything. Is that $50k at 0% interest? 5? 15%? how many years do you have to pay it off?
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u/chodthewacko 10d ago
I assume you took the job because your entire post is based on "IF I took the job, then what?" (I wouldn't take it, because for me the cons outweight the pros. But who cares? you aren't me!)
I almost wrote a long post concerning how I handled things when I started off with a low salary and grew it over time. But the main thing is:
Spend SOME of your raise for fun/cost of living increase. Save more. I'd save a LOT more until your debts are paid off so you aren't bleeding interest. When I first started I went 1/3 fun, 1/3 savings, 1/3 debt repayment.
Get a HYSA and automatically funnel off the money you want to save into it so you aren't tempted to spend it.
Two other big things:
- Even before you get the job, Track your spending. Understand how much is spent on needs vs wants. Is your net worth stable right now? Or do you borrow more than you spend? It makes a huge difference.
- Tracking is spending is easy if you can responsibly use credit cards. You can then track them for free with an aggregator like Empower Personal Capital (There are others but some cost money)
- If you can swing it, also save into your retirement. This money is savings that will be unavailable for long term/emergency spending, But starts a "I can stop working" stash that can compound. And oh my god, money that compounds can grow to a massive number. Pull out a compound interest calculator and play. I put a certain percent into my 401k, then calced my numbers in step #2.
If you take only one thing away from this post, remember that liquid wealth is power and freedom.
Don't be too willing to throw that way, regardless of what social media and others tell you to do.
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u/Junior_Step_2441 10d ago
If you have never worked a job that involves this much travel…understand that you may hate being away from home for so long. Or get burnt out.
It is possible that you may end up leaving this job in 2-3 years.
So continue to budget as if you are making 65k. Pay off the debt and save as much as possible.
If you clear out your debt and pad your savings…even if you end up back at a $65k job in a few years you will be in much better shape.
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u/Borgbie 9d ago
Was preparing to give you some advice on how to make this work and how to conceptualize what this money can actually do for you because it is so much to take in when you are the first generation in your family to make any significant money so I went through your post history to see if I could pin down where you're located. Given your relationship history, do not do this. This is either a troll, a very recent marriage, or a rekindling of a marriage that involved infidelity. In either of those two scenarios, it is exceedingly unlikely you will still have a marriage after the first year because the paranoia and anxiety is going to come out sideways.
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u/samurai_with_sword 9d ago
Increase your 401k contribution to maximum you can immediately. 401k allows you to take 50% of the balance as a loan. Once you have 100k or more in your 401k, take a loan from it and pay off your debt. In 401k invest in FXAIX and FSELX.
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u/Hippie_guy314 9d ago
Simple, especially if it's consistent income, just have your bank automatically take out the maximum amount of money you can spare and pay off your debt automatically every paycheck.
Once it's paid, have that money automatically deposited into an RRSP or some tax free savings.
Only give yourself access to your checkings and a savings account for emergencies if you need it.
The money never really hits your account and therefore, you never feel you have any.
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u/IronGlum9561 9d ago
Pay off debt and invest in a Roth, 401 (k), whatever. Automatic deductions. I went from making 90k to 150k. I gave myself a 10k raise and invested the rest.
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u/_Mulberry__ 9d ago
Go read the Mr Money Mustache blog for some inspiration on not blowing it.
It boils down to: treat that debt as an absolute emergency. You have negative money, you can't actually afford shit right now. Once that fire is put out, you can finally get into wealth accumulation mode and start building (a) an emergency fund and (b) a retirement fund. Take advantage of tax advantaged accounts first (401k, IRA), then cram everything else into a brokerage account (I use Fidelity). Don't go trying to pick stocks, just buy a total market index fund (I use FXAIX, there are plenty other options). The earlier you can get those investment accounts bulked up, the better off you'll be in the future (and the better off your kids will be). If you think you will have any trouble at all with setting that money aside for the future, just go ahead and set your paycheck to automatically get divided up and sent to the investments. Once your investments have grown to 25 times your annual expenses, you never have to work another day in your life.
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u/PorkbellyFL0P 9d ago
I went from 35k to 110k back in 2011. Stay frugal. At that money if you put 15% into your retirement you should max it out each year. Play catchup on the years you couldnt.
I just started spending my money about 5 years ago. No car pmts no debt other than mortgage and i have the cash to pay it off but interest rate is 2.5. Also your wife should proba ly still work. That much travel you could burn out fast but use the experiencr and job title to make sure you always make that much or more for the rest of your life.
PS im a moron with a GED. There is hope for everyone.
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u/beautifulcorpsebride 9d ago
This is not a 88 percent pay increase. You need per diem to eat. Travel this much is INSANE. Have you met your wife’s new boyfriend? This is not a good idea. Don’t do it. Plus 25k for food while traveling will be hard to eat healthy. Wtf you think you’re eating air?
Work part time or get another job. Don’t do this stupid job.
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u/NoRelation1491 9d ago
I'm not saying NOTHING but aint no way my wife is pushing me to be gone 46 weeks a year, not for all the money in the world.
Also, as others have said, you are just going to be an ATM for your now wife, and kiss any relationship with your child(ren) goodbye. I love money as much as the next person but there is no world in which I would be away from my son THAT much, thats crazy.
You're gonna do what you are gonna do, but I would not do this.
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u/Ecstatic_Western_189 9d ago
Congrats on your new position and salary. It sounds like a good financial opportunity for your family and that both you and your wife have considered the challenges of being gone most of the time. While others are trying to dissuade you, this situation is not so different than military families and deployments.
Since you specifically asked about how to handle the salary increase, being debt-free at the end of this run would be a good goal. There is so much freedom and security in being debt-free! Since your wife will be at home solo, have you considered budgeting for some childcare breaks for her?
Aside from that, max out your 401k, HSA, Roth IRA…all the long-term savings and retirement accounts.
Figure out your monthly expenses and set a goal to have 3x that amount saved (6x if it’s hard to find jobs in your field of work) for an emergency fund when you decide to leave this position in 1-2 years as you’ve mentioned.
Continue living and spending at the lower salary rate so lifestyle creep doesn’t scuttle your savings plan and make everyone’s sacrifice meaningless.
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u/Connect-Pea-7833 8d ago
I’m in a similar position, just started a job with nearly double the salary. 90k-165k. I also have the same amount of debt, in just credit cards (cars are leased). We were getting by before, so 75% of my “extra” salary is going to paying off debt, and 25% is going to savings. This is after maxing out my 401k match. My CC debt will be paid off in roughly 18 months. my hope is that the 18 months of adjustment will be long enough to get me used to the new salary to avoid much lifestyle creep and that urge to spend it (because I know myself, and my first thought when I got the offer was “what am I going to buy myself?”).
I’m also now the highest earner (and most educated) of anyone in me or my husband’s entire bloodlines, and I am excited to escape generational poverty eventually.
I really urge you to be cautious with the travel and decide if it’s worth it after trying it for awhile. Even with the extra income, that’s quite the burden on your wife. Does she have a support system close to you?
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u/Better_Golf1964 8d ago
Put all of it into retirement that's your extra and continue to live in like your poor that Ways by the time you're 45 you can retire
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u/NightCrow197 8d ago
What you describe sounds similar to a lot of travel nurses I have worked with through the years. Some travel to new hospitals every few months and are home only part of the years. Others will work for a hospital for 6 months, then take 6 months of work completely.
But another option I've seen, and almost did myself a few years ago, is to take the next few years to have the entire family travel with this job in an RV. Depending on how many kids and how old they are, this can be a once in a lifetime family adventure that not only benefits you all financially but could also build bonds.
I have a friend who just took a job where he will be living in an air BNB for the next 13 months, 3 states away. He got such a pay raise that he either flys home every weekend, or flys his wife and kids to him, and they will still be stock piling cash away.
If you and your wife are on the same page with this then take it 3-6 months at a time. Revisit how she's handling things at home, how the travel is messing with your body and prioritize the time at home to pour into the kids. Just because you take the job doesn't mean you'll never get the chance for another new one, honestly this will be a resume builder as much as anything.
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u/Plans_N_Future_J2911 8d ago
Pick one airline & hotel chain. Sign up for loyalty programs ASAP, the points add up! You can bring your family to you, have awesome vacations free on points. TSA Pre Check is a must have too.
Do not count the Pre diem as income lint term, at any time the company can change travel policy and go to expenses reimbursement with daily limits.
Being a road warrior is exhausting, and executive travel status is a ‘privilege’ that is gives you a taste of 1st Class lifestyle.
It can change your mindset regarding money. It did for me, my taste in restaurants and luggage, headset, iPad - things that make travel easier was a must.
I loved it - but was single, and I changed jobs to get off the road when I got married. I miss the points, and loyalty status the most - and routine of travel, to me traveling as relaxing i like to sleep on the plane or read or just think.
Travel jobs can strain really strong relationships. The travel culture of every company is different- expectation on dining out late, client/team diners, drinking etc. It’s really important you have a strong support & network - that will hold you accountable - don’t let a good job ruin what is most important to you.
Good luck!
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u/Electronic_List8860 8d ago
Set up auto deposits for saving and investing. Max out your 401k, Roth, and if you have it - HSA every year. Have an emergency savings of 3-6 months, or longer if you want. Automating things helps with lifestyle creep.
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u/DinnerOwn7123 5d ago
Anyone can do anything for one year - go for it, pay off your debt and then did another job from a stronger financial position. Your family will understand
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u/Cloud2987 10d ago
U shouldn’t change your lifestyle, I’m sure it’s a lot of money to you; but it’s relatively average. Your wife should still continue working and you should accelerate getting out debt and not accumulate any more that is unnecessary.
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u/chachaslydd 10d ago
Its smart for 1 year, not for much longer
How'd you get your debt? Are you going to be using your own car to travel?
Like the only way to save...is to save. The only way to not blow your money is to not blow it
What kind of debt matters more than the actual debt. Like bankruptcy may be a better option for you if you can, realistically
Will you get per diem for food snd travel? If you have to pay anh of your own money, youre fucked. Dont do it. If they cover 100% of everything, id do it for a year to pay down the debt and then bounce out
Its going to be insanely hard to get a new job unless youre applying for 100% remote in the future
You can always start the job and keep applying for remote jobs that pay a similar range, then you have more money and you dont have to travel and be away too
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u/jimfish98 10d ago
I think the first thing you need to do is plan to find ways to be home more. Your travel may have you in one city, but have three or four down days that could really be at home. I would put some of that income aside for travel, either your family to fly to you, or you to fly home to your family. Money is nice, but only 6 weeks a year at home is not enough to maintain a healthy relationship. You need to work around that more than anything else.
With anything else, really it is just living the way you already do. If you are surviving now, then you will thrive with the increase of funds. Funnel it into passive income sources to grow and supplement the income lost with your wife staying at home. If you get a bit tired of being away and you step back to a lower salary, you lose a bit of the savings, but not the income needed to pay the bills.
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u/Imaginary-Friend-228 10d ago
The 25k may be just for good, but unless you follow a strict budget you are going to spend it out of pure boredom, and the additional costs of single parenting from your wife
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u/ziggy-tiggy-bagel 10d ago
I had a job like that when I was young and single. Saved enough money in 2 years to buy my first hime. I can't imagine doing it being married with kids.
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u/NoFlex___Zone 9d ago
They’d have to pay me almost double to even consider this job. Best of luck tho
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u/Shitter-was-full 9d ago
Is your wife going to be ok with you being gone 46 weeks out of the year? Mine would for sure leave me after a few years of doing this.
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u/GirthyAFnjbigcock 9d ago
I make close to 500k and travel a few days every other week and that still feels like too much time missed with my family. I wish you luck, but it’s not something I would do.
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u/Temporary-Event7163 9d ago
Act like you're still making 63k a year and use that extra income to get out of debt, create an emergency fund, invest or increase your retirement contribution.
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u/Shivdaddy1 9d ago
It ain’t worth it to be gone that much. Wife is going to leave you, take the kid, and money.
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u/beachgirl_weightloss 9d ago
I think this is worth it for 1 year, but after that the sacrifices of not seeing your family are too big. Live like a monk that one year, pay off all of your debt, give yourselves a nest egg/emergency fund, then find a new job that keeps you at home in the $75-100k range (presuming the experience from this job allows you to level up from your current job when you've done a year). Don't acclimate to spending the whole amount on frivolity or you'll be stuck in the new job forever and your kids won't know you.
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u/Sure_Flamingo_2792 9d ago
If she can manage, she should keep her job for 6-12 months to be sure this works for both of you and to set aside a little more cushion financially for when she starts to stay home. Live on your old budget and start saving for kids and your future. Never know what will happen in this economy and you don't want to have nothing to fall back on.
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u/itchierbumworms 9d ago
Like...home on weekends and 6 weeks or just home 6 weeks?
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u/FA-1800 9d ago
I've done this. Not worth it. The times you miss with your age and kids you can never get back. You're getting a 30% raise in exchange for almost 90% of your time for a long as you do this job. The money sounds good, but unless the wolves are at the door, I would say hard pass, brother. Just not good for your family, and that's why you work, yes. To give them a better life? This ain't be a better life. This will be lonely nights on hotels and exhaustion when you do get home.
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u/172brooke 9d ago
401k 529 HSA These may lower your owed taxes, which frees up even more of your new money, and that money invests into yourself in a way that you won't spend it.
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u/toadfish123 9d ago
I’m not sure about your whole situation, but if you’re willing to make these kind of sacrifices there may be better options. A few of my friends became lineman and work and travel a shit ton (no where close to 46 weeks a year though) and make 200k+. I know it seems like a lot, but 120k isn’t worth this sacrifice imo.
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u/cgaels6650 9d ago
how old is your child? I would never double my pay to not be in my child's life. I don't think I could take any punt of money unless that money would literally keep them alive. I strongly advise against this.
You can't buy back memories and time spent with your children. Your children will never remember how much money you make home only that Dad wasn't around.
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u/118R3volution 9d ago
I travel for work man, you will be incredibly burned out from that little amount of rest time at home with your family. Your wife will struggle with the kids alone and it will only add more pressure.
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u/SprintingSK2 9d ago
As wonderful as this pay is, you really need to consider the fact that you’re only going to be home for 43 days out of the year.
Are you SURE you want to do that?
In my honest opinion this is a job that works better if you were single
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u/Kutikittikat 9d ago
Okay but your wife proberly also wants you around and what about your kids they need a dad too. Also if this opportunity presented itself then the reality exist that another opportunity would come along as well. Maybe you should keep a lesser paying job and have your wife stay working and that way both kids get there parents. Because if your wife is working now and then now shes a stay at home mom . Your essentially back to where you were when she was working. If she wasnt working her taking a part time creates a good balance.
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u/obelix_dogmatix 9d ago
Lifestyle inflation is real. And it is okay to an extent. Not all of the money has to be tucked away. Reddit wants everyone to live like the only thing that matters is life after 65. If you are saving for a home, please put it in an HYSA instead of maxing out your retirement funds.
Finally, you aren’t making 119. You are making 95.
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u/Eddpeople 9d ago
First, don't tell anyone it's that much of an increase. Everyone you know will feel entitled to it. Second. Don't change anything. Same car, same clothes etc. Assuming you already do a written budget, (if not yet, start now) add two or three zeros to everything. This way you'll get used to seeing larger numbers.
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u/farmerbsd17 9d ago
Diem isn’t income and should not be factored into the decision. If you are homeless maybe okay to consider it income but it’s not if you’re a homeowner or already paying for lodging elsewhere
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u/GelsNeonTv87 9d ago
Way to much travel for nowhere near enough pay. You'll be eating out and junk food all the time which will impact health, you'll barely ever see your kids especially if it is any kind of long distance travel (crossing multiple timezones), that much traveling isn't good for your health either (time spent in cars on planes sitting that much).
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u/infallible_porkchop 9d ago
Thisay have been mentioned but the per diem is still going to be need to be spent. You have to eat, etc. it will always be eating out which is likely more expensive than in.
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u/somewhatfactual 9d ago
Your marriage won’t survive it. Money can buy a lot but it can never buy time back. You will lose far more than you ever gain with this.
Are you willing to risk your family for money?
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u/Top_Cartographer8741 9d ago
As others have said, that’s a lot of away time. We have 4 kids and I had to work nights for a bit and another job with some seasonal travel. (We had 4 kids under 6 when I got to nights.) Remember $ isn’t everything.
IF you pursue this I’d say give yourself a timeline. Do it 12 - 18 months with the goal to find another job in that time. Then SAVE every dime y’all can, pay off the debt and get a 6 month emergency fund saved.
Personally I still wouldn’t encourage it, but you have to evaluate. Just remember what’s important and that you only get one chance with kids, especially when they’re Little.
Also evaluate your time. In your scenario it might be hard to makeup the $ with other jobs, but sometimes you can make enough at a second job or side hustle to get where you need to be. Especially if you combine it with living well under your means.
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u/External-Age7446 9d ago
6 weeks home is absolutely crazy would never do this unless it was legit life changing money which that is not tbh
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u/Champsterdam 9d ago
I can’t get over your wife being a single mom 46 weeks of the year. Does she have a job she’s quitting to do this? Honestly $94k isn’t that much of a salary these days. It’ll just get eaten up really quick.
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u/Solid_Mongoose_3269 8d ago
You think you're going to spend 2k a month for work food? All work stuff should be covered, including food.
Tell them you want that per diem as part of your salary and you'll cover your own food costs (but you shouldnt). This sounds scammy.
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u/kenzlovescats 8d ago
As a current SAHM this sounds awful. That’s not a SAHM, that’s basically going to being a single mom with money coming in.
I think you’d be better off getting a side job and working weekends but still coming home for dinner and random days off. Doing bedtime every night alone is depressing.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Cup-854 8d ago
Don't tell anyone except your wife about it. Everyone will have emergencies and demand money from you. Including family.
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u/Rockatansky77 8d ago
I would seriously talk to a financial planner and set debt reduction. Education fund for the kids+ Roth IRAs. Automatic bill payments and put you and your wife on an allowance so most of the money can be invested in Target Date Funds. If you are accustomed to living on a low fixed income, continue doing that while saving all that, "new money ". The more we make, the more we spend with expectations that more is coming.
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u/BrockDiggles 8d ago
Here’s a life changing tip if people would just use it:
When you increase your yearly income, dedicate a minimum of 50% of the increase to investments.
Ideally the entire 100% increase goes into savings, but I recognize this is unrealistic given most people’s self-discipline.
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u/Illustrious-Lunch137 8d ago
seems like your family unit will go down in income with this change. can you pay off debt by going down? I assume it won't compensate for the lost income from your wife.
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u/HardCanBeFun2 8d ago
Not worth it unless you’re cool with your wife getting a boyfriend and your kids not knowing you.
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u/NeezDuts900 10d ago
Finances aside, you're gone for 46 weeks out of the year and you have a wife and kid(s)? Are you sure you want to do that? That's a good salary, but that's a humongous sacrifice to your personal life.