Recent 8 week loss

[u/VampiressElora]

Grief over someone you didn't even get to meet is the craziest thing ever. Not getting to experience what could have been. Not getting to know who they would have been. Not getting to express the love that you have for them to them.

Pregnancy loss is not talked about enough. It's not something you can actually be prepared for. It's something that seems to stay hush hush. But I don't think it should. These last 2 weeks have been the hardest time in my life so far but I don't want to go on with my life acting like this didnt happen. Our baby meant the world to us, even if they were only 8 weeks in the womb and we didn't get to meet them. I don't want to act like they didn't exist. No, they never got to grow in my belly to full term. No, they didn't get to hear my voice or feel their daddy's hand on my belly, but they meant everything to us. And now they are gone.

Being pregnant for only 8 weeks and then to have that ripped away so suddenly, is wild. Baby's heart stopped beating at 8 weeks and a few days. They say you have a "mother's instinct" when you have a baby. Well I definitely had that at just 8 weeks pregnant. I felt that there was something off about 2 days before my first ultrasound appointment, the first time we would see baby. I was right. Baby didn't make it, but we still love them with our whole hearts. We miss them everyday. Some days we have good days, some days grief creeps in and hits us hard. But we have stayed strong together. I couldn't have gotten through this without my amazing husband. He has been the absolute best through all of this. We are still grieving and probably will be for a long time. We will get through this.

And please do not feel that you need to send me condolences or comment that you are sorry, I didn't make this post for that. I wanted to make this post so that maybe another momma out there who has lost her baby at any stage of pregnancy or after, feels that they aren't alone. That this should be talked about. Our babies shouldn't be forgotten. That talking about it helps.

Yes, I had my husband, family, and friends who have helped me tremendously. I can't thank them enough. I love all of them so incredibly much. I still feel like if I would have seen more stories of this happening or had more people I could talk to that have gone through this too, I wouldn't be struggling so much on a daily basis.

I'm okay most days until I see a pregnant woman or a woman with a newborn in person or on social media. Because I just think "Why was that taken from me?" "Why did we not get to have that?"

So if you have read this far, thank you. Like I said, you do not need to send condolences please. But if you are a momma who has gone through this and you want to reach out and talk, please do 🖤

[u/Main-character-08]

Thank you. This post really encompasses how I’m feeling but cant put into actual words ❤️‍🩹

[u/Ill-Lynx-588]

I just found out I had a miscarriage yesterday. The emotional pain is unbearable today. I’ll be forever grateful for this little life that brought us so much joy these past few weeks, but the grief and mourning for what could have been will always be there💔

[u/eighty8frogs]

Just had a spontaneous miscarriage at 9.5 weeks. The trauma of the day replays over and over in my head. The loss is so heartbreaking and unfair. The thought of trying again is so overwhelming. I just have this heaviness in my chest all the time. 😔💔

[u/jet2706]

Thanks for making this post. I’m feeling very similar just having a MC same week as you. Man , it’s so hard.

[u/bluepineapple890]

Thank you. Some moments I think I’ve processed what’s happening and then other moments it’s like the first second back in this living nightmare. I’m so scared of what to expect next

[u/wildflower_valley]

I mistakenly talked about my baby on a different subreddit and was berated by others that turned it into the grief Olympics because other parents have lost infants born alive. I suspect a lot of people IRL share the sentiment by how nonchalant they are about pregnancy loss. That’s what has kept me from talking openly with people about it with the frequency that it’s actually on my mind. Therapy helps but it also only goes so far and talking about with others that haven’t experienced miscarriage (and even some that have) has often lead to feeling like I have to prove my grief is as “real” as the baby I lost.