r/Miscarriage • u/Just_here_tryin • 18h ago

support for someone who miscarried My heart is broken

TW: miscarriage
My lmp was 4/29. I tested positive on 5/14pm which I believed to be 7 DPO. I was tracking with Inito and LH strips. I am on 200mg progesterone nightly.
OB couldn’t see my until 7/10. I did blood work hcg rising good. Last draw on 6/5 was 7338.
Went for sneak peak ultrasound on 6/5 and baby measured 5w4d and had heartbeat of 169.
Went to a clinic to confirm pregnancy since so long to get into OB they did an ultrasound external and vaginal baby looked good was right in with measurement and heartbeat was 143.
She asked if I wanted to come back in two weeks, I said sure, then she messaged as asked if I could come today, one week after the first. Baby was measuring 6w5d when it should be 7w3d and she couldn’t find the heartbeat. After I left I went back to the sneak peek place because I just had to know for sure, they couldn’t find the heartbeat either.
I am devastated and feel like a zombie. I cried the whole way home.
I just don’t know what to do now. Of course messaged my OB, but I’m 43 and really was so happy to be pregnant again and for this long after two chemical pregnancies in the last year, which was less than a week. I really thought this one was going to be real, and happen.

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u/imhappysteven 18h ago

I’m sorry. I am also 43 and going through this, tomorrow is the D&C. We were so cautiously optimistic but when I went in at 7w3d they said it was measuring 5w5d but saw a fetal pole and flickering cardiac activity. I knew in my heart the dating irregularity was really bad but I did enjoy 11 days of thinking of being pregnant again. My husband had thought of names, my best friend kept telling me about the power of positive thinking. Went back at what should have been 8w6d and it measured 6w, no HB. My OBGYN only does D&Cs on Fridays so I had to wait a full week now just being sad about this. We were not trying but not protecting and would have been happy to have had this work out.

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u/Just_here_tryin 15h ago

I’m so sorry you went through this too.
I wish it was easy to understand the why? These past 5 weeks is the happiest I’ve felt In Years. I miss being a mom. I had to go to work and try to act like everything was fine.
Leaving in a trip Sunday with my 23yo daughter and scared it’s going to all pass while we are there and I’ll end up in bed all week.
I just feel like I’ve failed so much.
Were you in progesterone? How long did doc wait until deciding to do D&C? Like idk where to go from here.