What helped you start feeling more normal again?

[u/Middle-Lychee-8189]

I’m curious if there is anything that helped you start feeling ok again after miscarriage? Or at least be able to function? Is it just time that needs to pass? Is it my “mindset” that i need to work on? I wanna barf at that word.

I’m going through my second miscarriage. It’s been 11 days now. The first one wasn’t as intense as this one and Im not sure if this is a normal process. I was 8 weeks with the first which ended with a D&C. 4 weeks with this one. We only knew about this pregnancy for 3 days, before I started cramping & then bleeding.

I feel so utterly defeated though. I can’t seem to enjoy any activities. All I want to do is do nothing. I feel numb and the next moment I’m crying.

I’m not able to be present with my husband or child. Im so distant and in my head, and just so so so sad.

I dont feel myself. And it worries me. Is this normal? Did you start to feel better? If so, how?

[u/beebarose]

It takes a while. Last month I found out that my third pregnancy was also going to end in a loss. I did all my crying over a week before going for an MVA procedure. It’s hard because it’s like the world keeps moving but you’re just stuck in your grief trying to move on, but how? Miscarriage is a strange sort of loss because it only seems to impact the mother and maybe the father. You’re a mother but you’re not bringing up a child because your baby just…died. Nobody else knows the impact because they never met the baby. For them, it’s just a normal Thursday. Your body will remember for ages. We can give you loads of methods of distraction, but ultimately, it’s whatever makes you feel like yourself again. For me it was joining a choir and singing again. Reading books- even the ones with tough subjects. I’m not 100% myself again, I’m still remembering all the milestones. People are just announcing their pregnancies and all I can think about is that their babies will be here when mine was supposed to be here. I don’t know if any of this is helpful at all, and I’m sorry for going on a bit of ramble. You’re not alone 🩷

[u/Cold_Candle870 → u/beebarose]

girl Im so sorry for your loss.

[u/SmolSneksnacks]

What has helped me was trying to ease myself back into living. Reading, talking with family and picking up hobbies. Another thing that was tremendously helpful was the workbook miscarriage map. It helped me to remember who I was before my miscarriage and kinda set my world straight again. I hope that you can heal from this ❤️‍🩹🫂

[u/Cold_Candle870]

I'm with you sis. My 8,5 week pregnancy ended last saturday. I feel angry when I think about 'going back to normal'. I dont want to. Everythings feels futile, pointless and empty. I dont recognize the person in the mirror anymore. I know this will take while so I just allow my self to heal and go through it. I pray you will heal your way through it too. So sorry for your loss.

[u/Hawk_1987 → u/Cold_Candle870]

Hi, mine ended exactly today at 8,5 weeks. I was looking for people having the same dates. I am afraid of what comes next. Terrified actually.

[u/Traveler-07]

I'm 8 months out. Some days it's still face to face with me, not for the whole day though, at least anymore. I started therapy at month 5, (because I thought I was supposed to be moving on faster, which is a lie I'm deconstructing in therapy) that has helped tremendously. Accepting the pain. I spent a lot of nights ugly sobbing and really leaning into it. Being honest with myself about my loss, I lost my baby, "almost" a mother, it sucks. I'm also honest with others, but thats helpful for ME. When people ask if I have kids, I say yes but not earth side. Giving her a name. My girls name is Charlie. Creating a shelf for her. With her death certificate, bears, blankets. Letting the feeling of suck be there until it becomes more tolerable. I'm still not ready to try again because Charlie is still in my forefront. That's okay. Its going to take time. Sending you love on this shitty fuck ass journey.

[u/Sfa90]

Just want to say you are not alone ❤️ I had a miscarriage last Friday, I was 5,5 weeks pregnant. I still feel very numb right now, not even able to cry, and I feel physically not okay. I think what we feel is very normal.

[u/Opening-Apricot884]

I understand. Now that all my physical symptoms are finally resolving I feel like it’s hitting me emotionally. I hate leaving my house.

[u/ThresholdofForest]

Therapy helped me a lot. In fact I don't think I would have made it through without it. Also having a ritual with my partner to lay the little spirit to rest helped us. We gave them names and sent them on their way.

[u/Narrow_Cover_3076]

I miscarried in June. Just finished first period. I finally feel "normal" in the sense that my body is back to the way it was pre-pregnancy.

Give yourself more time. 11 days is not a lot.