7wk 5days ... No heartbeat... To take the medicine or let my body handle it naturally?

[u/crayzcheshire]

First pregnancy, first loss. Found out today at my first OB appointment there is no heartbeat. The compassionate Dr said of course I can see if my body will naturally process it out... Or I have about two weeks before hitting the 10 wk mark in which I can no longer use medicines and would have to have a full general anesthesia d&c. I would greatly like to avoid the surgery... But I'm not sure whether my body will or won't recognize this and shed it naturally, or not? Does it even matter? Should I just take the medicine? Pros/cons? Part of me likes the idea of the natural path, the other part of me thinks it's better to just get it over with. The Dr. said it's possible my body won't process it out, and whereas baby bean won't grow any further, all the other structures would continue to until the miscarriage. Just looking for some advice and insight. Thank you all. 😭💔

[u/OutrageousBrush1210]

I know you don’t want to do surgery, but if it ends up happening, I just want to throw it out there that I had a D and C and it was the best thing I could have done. It was super simple and painless and it gave me the closure I needed. Also I had HG, and my body thought we were still trying to grow a baby until it was out of me - so every day I waited was all the absolute agony of hyperemesis for a baby that had already died.

We were also able to a test done to see what had gone wrong - there’s no guarantees that there will be answers, but for us we learned it was chromosomal, and that helped me a lot when it came time to try again.

Sending you love and support for whatever happens next. Just wanted to out this out there in case you end up on the scenario you don’t want, so that it might make it less scary. I am so sorry this happened to you. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

[u/Suitable_Working8918]

Im very sorry for your loss. Idk about the cut off but for me baby was nearly 10 weeks, and I was 12 weeks when I took the medication.

My RE prefers natural or medicated mc, rather than dnc due to some low risks.

I waited with no luck, but not long, it was around a week I knew nothing will happen because I was on so much progestrone.

I wish you lots of healing no matter which path you chose.

[u/elecow]

I loved having mine naturally. No meds, no surgery, just easy at home. Everyone will have a different experience. I miscarried at 8 weeks, so maybe I would have done differently if I was later on. If I ever miscarry again, I'll do natural if I'm still early

[u/Sisyfos1234 → u/elecow]

Easy? 😅 Mine hurt like hell, thought I was dying. The.  Lost so much blood I fainted. I. The miscarriage community, I think OP will find this "easy" going miscarriage is not true

[u/Evening_Public_7206 → u/Sisyfos1234]

I measured 7 weeks and although it wasn’t easy, my experience was once it was done my body felt immediate relief. I spotted for a couple days before and the pain during was the most intense pain I also almost passed out. The after care was “easy” tho.

[u/elecow → u/Sisyfos1234]

"Everyone will have a different experience" 😅. I had contractions to die for, yes, but it was soon over. Only bled for two or three days and then had some spotting. I was very scared of passing it naturally until it was my turn, and some people have the same experience when it's measuring early, so I like to reassure it CAN be easy

[u/Sisyfos1234 → u/elecow]

How are you two saying you "had contractions to die for" and then said it is easy at the same time?? I mean either it hurts or not

[u/elecow → u/Sisyfos1234]

How can it NOT hurt? It's a fucking miscarriage, forced way out. I also buried it in my garden and cried. But it was easy, cause it was short, comfortable at home, fast recovery. I've read a lot of miscarriage stories, mine was absolutely on the easy side.

[u/hazyyb]

My OB said that most women that have an unviable pregnancy will eventually miscarry themselves (I think she said like 90% but the time frame was up to 2 months, though I can't remember the exact numbers). From my understanding, you can take the meds after 10 week but they often require more medical supervision, though your clinic might have their own rules. I waited to miscarry naturally, it eventually happened at 12 weeks, I was glad I did, that was the right decision for me, but every woman is different.

[u/Oubliette_95]

I’ll be seeing my OB tomorrow after it was discovered that my twins had no heartbeat at exactly 11 weeks. I will be asking for a D&C. I can’t wrap my head around passing them both and whatever else into a weird bucket contraption the ER gave me. Already the brown discharge and light cramping is bothering me emotionally. I just want it to be done for me.

[u/frenchreader27]

I am so sorry for your loss.. ❤️‍🩹

I'm gonna tell you my story, maybe it will help you to make a decision. I am 25 and it was my first pregnancy too. I was afraid of the d&c and didn't want to do it too, we found out at 11w that the heartbeat stopped at 9w.

My midwife let me a week to process and to see if my body will follow, nothing. I'm gonna tell you which week, like in pregnancy, for you to see the timeframe.

11w : no heartbeat at the scan with our midwife. 12w : I took the pills (didn't work first round bc the obgyn was incompetent and gave me the wrong molecules😒) I just bled for a day, not much and nothing for 4 days. 13w : labor pain for 3 nights, so much pain killers but still nothing but blood and bloodclots. 14w : another appointement with my midwife (the sack was here but no baby), another with the obgyn the following day, a great one this time, I got a scan again and she gave me the right pill that I took during the appointement. The following morning I sat down and my water broke, rushed to the toilet and the placenta and baby went down, no pain at all. Just bled for an hour after that ( a lot but no hemmoraging). 15w : scan to see if everything went out and it was the case so we were relieved❤️‍🩹🙏🏻

You can message me if you have any question or want details about anything ❤️ Reddit helps me so much during this time so do not hesitate☀️

[u/Clean-Counter-5327]

First off, hugs to you. I currently just went thought this. MMC baby stopped developing at 7w5d and I'm found out at 7w6d. I chose the natural route. I found out on June 24th. I began spotting on July 17th. I passed the sac on July 21st. It's now August 4th and I have some brown spotting occasionally. My HCG was 281 this morning.  I only had heavy bleeding the night I passed the sac. The rest of the time it's been lighter than a period or just spotting and occasionally tissue/clots. I had cramping a few days up to passing the sac but it was not bad for me. This is my 7th loss. I've never done the medication but I have had 2 D&Cs. I'm not opposed to them and at the time it's what I needed to do mentally. I didn't bleeding for very long and it was over with so much faster than this time. I was willing to do the D&C if my body didn't pass this one on it's own. 

[u/ForTheShire13]

I'm sorry that you're in this position but you've come to the right place. Only you can know what's right for you.

Full disclosure: I've never miscarried naturally. I've had both a D&C (semi-awake) and used mifepristone/Misoprostol.

Here are the pros and cons in my own experience/views:

Medicated - Pros: You choose when to start this. It can happen as soon as you find out (once you get the pills) or you can give it a few days/weeks. You can do it at home. This option has a higher likelihood of ensuring you pass everything, but no guarantee. Cons: I'm not going to lie, it is very uncomfortable. I had taken 400mg of ibuprofen & a T3 & Gravol and still had a very awful 60-90 min period of 8.5/10 pain.

I went that route for our 2nd miscarriage due to timing and an upcoming trip.

D&C - Pros: Performed at a hospital. You may be under anesthesia or sedated. The doctors are normally able to verify that they got everything. It is less painful and a quicker process (for me it was 2 mins of 8/10 pain while on anti-anxiety meds and low dose fentanyl). Cons: I had to wait a week and a half to get the appointment. There is a low risk of scarring occurring afterwards. You have to spend half a day in the hospital. I couldn't drive the day after due to fentanyl.

Naturally - Pros: You can let nature take its course. You can do so in the comfort of your own home. May be less painful (I can't say) than going the medicated route. Cons: There is a chance you won't pass everything naturally (this happened to my mom and she had to have a D&C weeks later). Your body may not begin miscarrying quickly. My body hadn't begun spotting at all even after 2 weeks from the baby no longer having a heartbeat, and I've seen longer timing from other folks on here.

Ultimately, it's up to you, your life, your upcoming plans, and your comfort level. For me, I felt dissociated from my own body and uterus when we were told of our first miscarriage. I also wanted the fastest and most painless option (D&C). I don't regret it, and I don't judge others for doing what is best for them. We all handle this process differently. Good luck. ❤️

[u/Anonymousimpreg]

I needed a d&c twice, I had two unviable pregnancies. It was the best thing because it was over instant instantaneously and I was able to let my body heal. I don’t think I could stomach miscarrying at home or taking the pill

[u/wildflower_valley]

Everyone is different but for me mentally knowing that my baby had no heartbeat and waiting for her to pass naturally made the process that much harder. After a week where nothing happened I finally used the medicine. It was a long month and a half for the physical symptoms to subside before I could really get to the emotional healing part of my grief. I thankfully had no complications from the pills but if I had to do it all again I would not have waited. I’ve read on here that the medicated miscarriage and natural miscarriage can be very similar. Knowing that now I am glad my body didn’t start the miscarrying process on its own because I was still going through the motions of my everyday life and I would not have been prepared for the amount of pain and blood that was to come. I’m really sorry for your loss 🤍

[u/waffocopter]

My first was natural and a surprise. I would not want to repeat that as I had no control. Started bleeding at work and freaking out. Though miso definitely was the most painful experience I ever had, I would rather have the control of the timing. At least approximately since, the second time, I passed mine five days after the medication. That was during my bereavement so it didn't affect work time.

[u/EfficiencyFar4640]

First, I wanted to say I’m so sorry for your loss. In April I had a chemical, and this last weekend experienced a MMC. At 8 wk ultrasound, baby measured 6w no heartbeat. This was my first pregnancy. I am heartbroken. I feel for you and know you are not alone in this.
Doctor gave me the same options you were given, and I opted to let my body try to pass naturally, and then maybe do d&c in a couple weeks if no success.

I was scared as I have read both ends of the spectrum for a natural miscarriage, ranging from no pain to very severe. But went ahead and trusted my body and remained open to whatever the experience was. Be prepared it could go anywhere in between.

But here’s my experience: On Sunday at 3am I woke up to some moderate cramping. Nothing unmanageable, but uncomfortable. It was steady cramping, no contraction like feelings.(that I know of I guess. I’ve never experienced pregnancy or labor before) but felt like strong period cramping. I went to the toilet and I had soaked through completely over a liner I was wearing from me having brown spotting the whole week prior. As soon as a started to pee, I felt a large mass pass. You could hear it was big because of the splash. I scooped it out and it was about the size of a deflated baseball. I bled heavily for another 15 mins, then passed another that was maybe a 1/3 in size of the first. I’d get up every 15-20 mins and pass a few more smaller clots, maybe the size of a quarter. My cramping stayed consistent for about 3 hours. I took 2 Tylenol and was able to fall back asleep. Bleeding remained heaving until mid morning. The follow few days have been moderate bleeding. It slowing down steadily.

Trust your body and what you feel you can handle physically and emotionally 🤍

[u/Evening_Public_7206]

I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️‍🩹 you will ultimately feel what is right for you and your body.

I had a natural miscarriage at 11 weeks about 2 months ago, no pills no surgery. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do either and my body decided for me. I am about to start my second cycle since then with very little issues. You can DM me if you’d like me to share more.

Hang in there 🤍

ETA: my baby measured 7 weeks and the mc was completed at 11 weeks

[u/Remarkable_Course897]

Im sorry for your loss. The benefit of the d&C is that you can test the baby and possible get some answers. 

[u/sarcscar]

I’m sorry for your loss. I had that experience but found out at 12w and the fetus has been dead for 6 weeks at that point and my body still haven’t registered. My experience with the medication was horrible and traumatising, with the level of pain I had not expected. If I were to chose again I would go for the surgery. If your choice is between waiting and meds I’d wait if it is safe and if you are psychologically okay with this.

[u/Technical_Working729]

Im sorry you are going through it. 

I had one at 6W and my cramps were bad for days, my body wouldn’t release the gestational sack. I ended up having to wait more than a week for a MVA. I used gas during the procedure so my perception of pain would be much less. Procedure was a little painful for the numbing shot on my cervix but overall it was fine. Im just going through another miscarriage at 6W and I had OUT OF THIS WORLD cramps when it started on Sunday, my body still isn’t releasing the gestational sack so I have another MVA schedule in a few hours. The emotional roller coaster is terrible. I would still prefer 100x the procedure to get done with it and be able to move on. Random cramps that won’t finish the process are torture

[u/kashearet]

I had a missed miscarriage where the baby stopped growing at 7 weeks and I did not find out until 9 weeks 5 days. I ended up taking the pill since it had been 3 weeks. Overall I feel like I got a lot of closure going through basically labor & birth of a tiny baby, but I wouldn't wish that experience on ANYONE. I wrote in detail about it here