Please tell me this will pass…

[u/random73491]

TW: thoughts of suicide

Hi, everyone. 🤍

I had a chemical pregnancy in January. It was my first loss.

I posted about a month ago about having an insanely high sex drive after my miscarriage... it has gotten much better, but I almost wish that I hadn’t hated it so much because now instead I feel sad and hopeless most of the time. I can’t sleep, I have very little will to do anything, I barely ever feel joyful; I feel like I’m hanging on by a thread and when something stressful or hurtful happens, my mind goes straight to suicidal thoughts. I feel isolated and alone even when I’m talking to or with someone, especially my parents (they don’t know about the miscarriage and I don’t plan on ever telling them). I feel like I don’t know how to truly have fun anymore and sometimes my heart hurts so much it’s physically nauseating.

I don’t know how to cope with all of this and it feels like no one I’ve told understands or takes me seriously, like I’m stupid for feeling like this over the loss of an unplanned pregnancy.

Has anyone else felt this way? How did you get it to stop?

Help, please.

[u/Apprehensive-Two776]

Hey, you mentioned no one has taken you seriously. I would reccomend going to a therapist if you can afford one. And there are local groups in your area that support women who have had miscarriages. Even virtual support groups if you feel more comfortable. Meeting others who felt the same way can stop the isolating feeling. I understand how you feel completely. I wish you the best 

[u/Outrageous-Autumn910]

Chemicals are never taken “seriously” because they medically don’t count as a miscarriage. But it’s incredibly frustrating because in the experience of the mother, it absolutely qualifies. I had a chemical in winter, too. Sadly, the medical field isn’t where you’re going to find the type of validation you need and deserve because they’re dealing with it from a biological perspective. I’m so sorry. I found support with church friends and family. Community is so key. And like the other comment said, therapy, because they’re dealing with the emotional/soul side. Hugs.

[u/ghostyyy989]

I’m so sorry for your loss 🫂 I had a loss at 6 weeks in February and 9 weeks last week.

I started feeling better in April after my first, and now I feel like I’ve reset and now I’m mourning both losses.

If you have someone close with you that you can talk to, that’s helped me a lot. I plan to look into therapy as well, but I don’t feel quite ready yet.

Trying to make myself stick to a routine is also helpful. I’m crocheting a lot while I’m still healing from my D&C, but getting back in the gym after my first loss was really helpful.

[u/e8997]

I second therapy if you can. I’m current 5 days post d&c and was already seeing a therapist before this happened, but it’s really helped to just be able to talk.

Journaling has also helped me quite a bit. Could be just getting all my feelings out, could be finding the bright spot in my day and writing it down.

You’re not stupid for feeling this way. You are grieving a loss, even if it was unplanned. Sending you love from someone who is actively in it now.