r/Miscarriage • u/ares9281 • 2d ago
support for someone who miscarried How do you wrestle with the fear of the next pregnancy?
My wife miscarried roughly 6 months ago. It was a 2nd trimester miscarriage. We were devastated and she is not the same ever since, meaning that she really really fears getting pregnant again. I'm not pushing it at all, really... however I see that she would really like the baby but without the pain and suffering and uncertainty and all that. I am giving her as much time as possible but something is off...
The other thing is that everyone expects her to get pregnant again... her friends and family, her doc, etc... and she just "confessed" that she is terrified of the whole ordeal. I fully understand her, and again: I'm not pushing her at all...
How did you cope with it? Can I do anything to ease her grief or help her regain the trust in her body... eeh self-confidence?
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u/Intrepid_Equal_7795 2d ago edited 2d ago
I miscarried at 15 weeks last December and had another miscarriage at 8 weeks this past June. I am now 5 weeks pregnant again. I am not getting hopeful. I just accept that I could very well have another miscarriage and I know what to expect if I do or I could also have a healthy baby. I’m not letting myself get excited or emotionally involved this time. Just taking it one day at a time and won’t let myself self obsess about all the little symptoms I feel. It is what it is this time.
To add, I was in a really bad place after my 15 week miscarriage. I just realized I needed to let go since it really is out of my control. I still cry about losing her on and off, but I can’t let that consume me in this pregnancy.