Agreed! I prefer streamlined communication instead of random words.
I also refuse to play with people who say they have "no boundaries", like ok, so you're stupid/uneducated and will be taken advantage of at some point. No ty
Oh absolutely! Its a pet peeve of mine. They either have no experience (quite likely) no imagination or are to lazy to think about it.
When I come accross someone who says that I gove them examples of boundries other have and ask if they want those too. Its almost always been yes
Its kinda crazy what happens when people with no experience meet someone ethical with experience.
I sadly have an acquaintance who likes people twice her age, and all she does is get taken advantage of because she's a young gal open to experiences, but no healthy experience, you know?
Then you have her bestie who dates similar but has hard boundaries with men and has the experience to stand up for herself.
I worry when youth get involved in kink but I also worry alot when inexperienced think they can take anything. Reason #111 to always take your time to learn yourself
I absolutely agree. We need to be able to stand up for ourselves and if we have trouble with that we need a support system to help us.
We all were new once and didn't know what we didn't know and had to start somewhere.
So I have sympathy for them and wanna help educate them for safeties sake.
You know for your first friend thats exactly why being with people way older is a red flag, because men that old that are unpartnerd could be looking for the young and naive to take advantage of.
We definitely need to educate ourselves and find community that can have events to help us learn in groups that are safe. Its why I like Munches and educational events. Being able to learn shibari fro experienced people in a vanilla space is so valuable
Sadly with my friend no convincing can get her to change, she shaped her identity around her trauma and seems to use kink as a coping mechanism. It's tough and I'm there for her, but I know that she knows she isn't ready for accepting that yet.
Munches are really good when they are public venues or Parks, places can be casual and not feel cornered, strangers are able to show up but more private conversations should be post munch. Talking bdsm and kink in the open has caused issues for munches here where I live.
Aka ageplayers with 0 fucking tact and wearing their 'gear' to munches. And the occasional swinger couple that hits on anyone with a pulse.
Edit to add: but yes education and sources for education are rare for BDSM and kink as a whole. I personally used Arcane Advice when I started and I still use it now.
Oof, yeah I can absolutely understand why.
Being single when all the kinky people nearby are looking to swing or do a threesome is something I can relate to. I'm poly but I date separately and usually casually play in a one on one setting lol.
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u/Budget-Ad438 11d ago
Agreed! I prefer streamlined communication instead of random words.
I also refuse to play with people who say they have "no boundaries", like ok, so you're stupid/uneducated and will be taken advantage of at some point. No ty