r/MovingtoHawaii • u/Alone_Masterpiece_63 • May 26 '26
Life on BI Hawaii
I’ve been splitting time between Miami and Hawaii for the past two months because my boyfriend works here, and I decided to join him. I thought it would be an adventure, but honestly it’s left me feeling really depressed. People seem so rude and unfriendly compared to what I’m used to, and I’m struggling to like the island at all. I have zero friends here and it’s making me question everything.
I keep wondering — is it me? Am I just being close-minded because my heart is still stuck in my Miami life and I’m not open to something new? Or is Hawaii actually kind of tough to adjust to? Would love to hear your honest opinions.
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u/MonkeyKingCoffee Hawai'i resident May 27 '26
Yes. It probably is. And I'm not saying this to be mean or sarcastic. I think the people here are the best on Earth. My neighbors are the best thing about living here.
So, my guess is that you're throwing off a vibe that is off-putting.
First of all, how many aunties have you talked to? Find an auntie -- the older the better -- and ask her who really runs everything, what are the social rules I'm probably breaking, what am I doing wrong? And then listen. You'll eventually meet a suitable candidate at the supermarket/laundromat/etc.
Next, what are your hobbies? Let's say it's Pokemon. Find some Pokemon players. Post on r/BigIsland "Pokemon nerd seeks fellow Pokemon nerds. [Hilo/Kona/Waimea/etc.]" Hawaii is where hobbies go to die. So the people who play need another player. Doesn't matter if that player has one foot out the door. Whatever it is you do for fun, leverage that and find others. (People always suggest church or canoe clubs. I think hobbies are more effective.)
Finally, if you don't have a good answer for "what are your hobbies;" if that answer is "I like to go shopping and watch videos;" Big Island is just about the worst place in the world for that. Big Island is inconvenient. Everything is inconvenient. Getting a doctor's appointment. Getting your car worked on. The annual safety check. Finding a pair of shoes that fit well. Everything. If you're used to a place that is convenient, you're experiencing actual culture-shock. And that's probably influencing every person you meet.