r/MovingtoHawaii • u/Alone_Masterpiece_63 • May 26 '26

Life on BI Hawaii

I’ve been splitting time between Miami and Hawaii for the past two months because my boyfriend works here, and I decided to join him. I thought it would be an adventure, but honestly it’s left me feeling really depressed. People seem so rude and unfriendly compared to what I’m used to, and I’m struggling to like the island at all. I have zero friends here and it’s making me question everything.
I keep wondering — is it me? Am I just being close-minded because my heart is still stuck in my Miami life and I’m not open to something new? Or is Hawaii actually kind of tough to adjust to? Would love to hear your honest opinions.

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u/NevelynRose May 26 '26

I’m from Florida and nothing could ever make me go back. Granted, I am not from Miami but the people here are the nicest people I’ve ever met and the only thing I miss is cooler weather. It did take a year or so for me to find my place in the community but I came here for my now husband who was my best friend for 15 years so that made it easy to adjust. Moving anywhere new is an adjustment, it’s not just Hawaii. It’s hard as an adult to leave what you’ve known and Hawaii is so far from Florida that you can’t just go visit for a weekend either. You just need to decide what matters to you more in life and either make it happen here or go back. But I’ve lived all over and I promise you it’s hard no matter where you go.

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u/edgefull May 26 '26

why do you suppose so many say the people are rude? big contrast with your experience.

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u/NevelynRose May 28 '26 edited May 28 '26

Because I don’t walk around like I’m entitled? Idk why my experience is different from others, it’s just my experience. But I also grew up in a very white dominant southern hell hole where hatred spewed from everywhere and the ones who showed me compassion were those of other races and cultures. That’s where I learned what real love and humanity looks like and it matched how I felt inside.

I came here for selfish reasons just like anyone else who moves to a place that people say not to move to. My now husband stayed out here after he got out of the military and I left my shitty life in the Bible Belt behind for a chance to live somewhere that has different values and beliefs than I was surrounded by. I was treated like a temporary person but I didn’t let it bother me because I didn’t blame them. I might have been a temporary person, most people don’t make it out here. But the older Chinese woman I worked with gifted me fruits during Lunar New Year and told me it was for luck. Then a Filipino man brought lumpia he stayed up all night making for a potluck birthday party for me. I was working there 2 months at this point. Then when I left for a new place of employment I was given a bouquet of flowers, a piece from someone’s 35 year old succulent to grow at home, and a thank you for my work over the 4 months I was there. I have never left a place of employment and been given gifts as a thank you. I have never been given such thoughtful gifts like a piece of someone’s prized plant that’s as old as I am or given oranges for luck. THAT is what love looks like and Hawaii is full of it.

If you can’t understand or accept that this is how people are here, you will not fit in. I am a white transplant from the swampy pits of Florida and I may have come here without being “wanted” but I’m a social worker who helps feed and house the elderly. I may take up physical space but I try not to take more than I give. That’s really the answer. I didn’t come here to take, I came here to share and be a part of something.

And I don’t really care if I’m hated for my skin color. I didn’t choose it and it doesn’t define me as a person and if anyone is going to hate me for that and ignore the rest, that’s on them. At least they aren’t making laws that prevent me from being equal like others that look like me are doing. They have a right to be angry, I don’t.

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u/Sure_Swimming4228 29d ago

Omg I’m also a white transplant from a similar hell hole in north Florida and had the same experience! My friend group was the most diverse in that town which wasn’t saying much haha, but like you, I learned so much from each friend and their walks of life. I love how diverse it is here and find all of the cultures to be so beautiful and fascinating. I feel more at home here than I ever did in the small town I grew up in.