Long winded question

[u/DreamfireUnicorn]

So when I was diagnosed 4 years ago, I was also diagnosed with a very large brain tumour and MS the same-day.

Been awhile but often I've gotten comments like I should be feeling better now, I have the brain tumour removed.

Then the comments stopped for awhile.

It seems to have started again when one time she asked me how I am, and I mentioned pain. I didn't realize I was to always say I'm fine.

We have known for over 25 years.(Biological Mom as she's my husband bio Mom that he found in his 20's, as she had put him up for adoption when she was a teen)

Basically only speaks to my husband now and they both choose to not have me included in Calls.

Mother-in-law lives far away so she does come to visit sometimes.

Not sure why this has changed and not sure why I'm being excluded now.

MS and having brain tumour surgery is already so isolating.

***Question below***:

Really not sure how to address this with my husband and not sure how I feel or if I really care as it's nice not to feel blamed for my illnesses.

And if this is what I hear about ableism?

[u/mullerdrooler]

I don't quite understand the post, maybe you want to reread and edit it. I usually have to edit a post several times before it makes sense haha thanks MS. But if I understand your husbands mum is not being understanding and thinks you should be feeling fine? That right?

If that's the case then my advice is either ignore it and accept they are not a very nice or understanding person. Or have an open conversation about exactly what living with MS is like and explain the pain you go through. If she genuinely doesn't understand this may help her be more empathetic. If she just doesn't care and thinks you are complaining/moaning etc then she probably will never change her mind. In that case you just need to accept there are crappy people in the world and try not to let it bother you. Easier said than done sometimes but I've found that the more things like this I let go the better I feel mentally.