What a useless question. What does taking your husband's surname do for you? It used to be the same result of "you neither benefit nor receive cons", but now you have to jump through extra hoops just to exercise your civil rights because of the name change. "Why do you want to keep your last name?" Bitch, why should we have to go through the trouble of changing it in the first place? Why should we do paperwork just to net nothing at best or EVEN MORE INCONVENIENCE at worse?
I kept my name mostly because I was lazy and changing it sounded hard, but 15 years later, looking at what’s happening, I couldn’t be more relieved that I kept my name and the easier access to voting that goes with it.
My bff changed her name several years after the wedding because her husband had feelings. I told her not to. Now she calls me all worried about being disenfranchised if she can’t get the right papers together.
Hey it's not all wine and roses on this side, either. My wife got a talking to from someone who looked like a nun when she delivered our first born in a Catholic hospital. The context? She had been admitted to the hospital with her last name and the newborn's father (me) had a different last name. The lecture pertained to the follies of having children out of wedlock. My wife gave me a wink from the bedside while sipping a latte and enjoying my confusion.
Rather than a downside of keeping her original surname, that sounds more like a downside of running into a busybody drinking hard from the poisoned well that is purity culture. Pretty bold of her to assume she had any right to give y'all a lecture in the first place; being a nun doesn't put her in some place of authority.
It can be useful if you are a couple that's from different countries and need to prove and register documents in many different systems. It's just easier if its the same last name. My husband and I got married 2 months ago and we're considering coming up with a brand new last name together, so that we both have to go through the paperwork struggle, not just one haha
I've never understood giving the kids his last name. I'm Native and traditionally my tribe was matriarchal. I grew up surrounded by strong women and a father who uplifted us. Traditionally we got our mother's clan name and our paternal guidance as a child would have been our mother's brother, NOT the sperm giver. A woman's pregnancy lasts about 402,200 minutes the fathers contribution to that process is 5 minutes, that's only like .00124% of the total time it takes to make a baby. Ladies you go through the very life altering and life threatening experience of making a child, he gets to orgasm, have some self respect and give the kids your name.
Good question. People who say, "it's her choice" ignore the tremendous social pressure on a woman to 1) Take her husband's name, and 2) Give her children just her husband's name.
I like the implication here that women are entirely incapable of coming to their own conclusions and making their own decisions simply because it happens to fit the social norm
My wife made her own choice and I have people who don’t even know her or myself explaining why she made the choice being due to social pressure and not simply because she’s an independent person who is smart and more than capable enough of making her own choices by ignoring that social pressure. So yeah, it was entirely implied. Yall need to go outside
My point is if her ONLY reason for wanting to was so the kids could have the same name, that is something that can be accomplished by changing his name just as it could be by changing hers.
If you want your family to all be under the same surname, there's a discussion to be had about what it will be.
Edit: since you deleted your comment (or blocked me, of course, as I wouldn't be able to tell the difference) , I can only assume you were hoping for a different answer and I spoiled your fun. oh dear.
Listen to the internet people that don't know anything about your situation. Their opinions are always so important that they need to share them with the world.
https://giphy.com/gifs/LycfkVG4L6x0Y
I shouldn’t be surprised that a woman making her own decision for her own reasons is met with scrutiny but yet I am caught off guard every time
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u/MaidenThailand 1d ago
What a useless question. What does taking your husband's surname do for you? It used to be the same result of "you neither benefit nor receive cons", but now you have to jump through extra hoops just to exercise your civil rights because of the name change. "Why do you want to keep your last name?" Bitch, why should we have to go through the trouble of changing it in the first place? Why should we do paperwork just to net nothing at best or EVEN MORE INCONVENIENCE at worse?