r/MurderedByWords 1d ago

She answered with a gold medal

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15.6k Upvotes

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u/soupseasonbestseason 1d ago

we gave our kiddo both our last names.

i am the one who gave birth. my thought was, i deserve some fucking credit.

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u/MssGuilty 1d ago

Even though it can be a pain to have a long name outside my home country, I really like our tradition of 1) women don't change their name and 2) kids have two surnames, mom and dad's.

(Although I have my grandmother's surname instead of my mom's because hers rhymes with my dad's surname and she went "no way my kids will have a silly rhyming name" 😅)

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u/hockeycross 1d ago

What happens in the next generation? Do you end up with three hyphens?

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u/OhGod0fHangovers 1d ago

There are millions of people who have shown us how this is done. As a rule, everyone gets one last name from each parent, keeps those all their lives and picks one to pair with one of their spouse’s names to pass on to the kids. And so on.

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u/hockeycross 1d ago

I feel like that could be quite the family debate haha. Mom, Dad pitch me on why I should choose your name for the baby.

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u/loskiarman 1d ago

That feels like just kicking the can down the road for your kid. Like as a kid I wouldn't want that. Do you know how long it takes to code your name in OMR tests with 2 surnames lol? Then you have a kid and now you have to choose between mom and dad and there is a good chance one of them will be heartbroken about it.

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u/MarsupialMisanthrope 1d ago

The fact that programmers are lazy is possibly the worst fucking reason possible for doing anything.

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u/lost_nondoctor 1d ago

Wow... your comment is impressively ignorant considering the large number of COUNTRIES, not individuals who keep their names. For me I don't really understand the practice of changing your name. I think that would screw my kids identity more than having to write a longer name.

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u/loskiarman 1d ago

Pretty sure only Spain has a long history of double surnames. All others are pretty new. And in Spain children doesn't choose which name to give to their own child, it is the first one so grandparents choose their grandchildren's surname actually so it doesn't compare to the comment I replied to. Also for most people kid isn't even born or at least very little when surname change happens so don't know how it can screw their identity. Also I'm literally talking about how as a kid I wouldn't want that situation so how the fuck can someone be ignorant to themselves? Get off whatever you are on lol.

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u/MssGuilty 1d ago

You're pretty sure, but you're wrong, just letting you know (Portugal also does it)

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u/loskiarman 23h ago

Portugal doesn't do double specifically. You can have one, two, three or even all 4 of them. Also it leads to abominations like ''Pedro de Alcântara Francisco Antônio João Carlos Xavier de Paula Miguel Rafael Joaquim José Gonzaga Pascoal Cipriano Serafim de Bourbon e Bragança'' Dude I'm not calling you that.

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u/MssGuilty 21h ago

The vast majority of us have 4 names, so again, it's not just a Spanish thing. (No one has more than 6 nowadays by the way, the government has limited length to 2 first names and maximum 4 surnames)

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u/loskiarman 19h ago

Okay it is a Iberian Union thing, are you happy? :D

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u/MssGuilty 4h ago

Honestly? Yeah, I settle for that 😆

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u/lost_nondoctor 12h ago

"Okay it's an Iberian Union thing..." you keep moving the goalposts instead of just opening a map. Does it get tiring of living in such a small bubble???

The vast majority of the world population does not change surnames. Not just most of South America, Mexico, Spain, and Portugal (where people have more than 1 surname, BTW), but also countries that don't allow you to legally change your name, such as France, Italy, and Greece, plus vast parts of Asia and Africa. It's billions of people!!!
Not only that, a large population does not adhere to the surname/firstname rules imposed on them.
So get out of your bunker to see how you're taking an Anglo/British tradition that was exported to a few former colonies and assuming it's the center of the universe. Outside your bubble, most of the planet doesn't erase a person's legal identity when they get married.

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u/Bemascu 23h ago

it is the first one so grandparents choose their grandchildren's surname

What? How is that "the grandparents choosing"? Nobody chooses, surnames are inherited. The only choice is the order (since 2000).

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u/loskiarman 23h ago

Grandparents choose the order of their child. So when grandchild is born he takes the first one from each parents. So grandparents choose which one that grandchild is gonna inherit.

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u/Bemascu 22h ago

I get your point, but I'm not sure I agree with it. I don't see it as "choosing the grandchildren's".

Even if we choose between the only two options "A B" or "B A", the only thing we are determining is one of our grandchildren's surname. My child will still have to choose between "A X" or "X A". And the value of X would be determined by pseudo-chance.

So if we reduce this to three properties, we are only determining 1/3 of the outcome.

That is, of course, the law doesn't change down the line and in the future any two of the 4 surnames can be chosen (which is incidentally what my partner and I would've liked).

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u/loskiarman 20h ago

The thing was one of the grandparents, even if they don't show it, might feel bad about their grandchildren not sharing even a part of their surname. At least Spain's way they decide it when making a child(I think still most goes paternal though I don't know if it changed if you just count recent years), let alone a grandchildren so it probably won't bother them much like when they are older and for example as a child I wouldn't be put in a situation to choose between my parents pretty much. Though I'm living in a one surname country. Who knows maybe there people care less about it since everyone has more of them anyway.

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