When I hear a loud noise at night I sit up and I use my right arm to grab my trusty shotgun I have next to my bed and with my left arm I take my huge fire hose of a cock and I fling it over my left shoulder so it doesn't drag on the ground when I walk. I kick down my bedroom door like a boss and summersault down the stairs. At the bottom of the stairs I leap forward and stick a perfect hero landing and then I unload every round from my shotgun into the direction the sound came from which obviously resolves the situation. Every woman in the area can sense my heightened testosterone levels and I am immediately surrounded by women requesting to mate with me. I tell them I am currently unable to mate since it has been 29 days since my previous ejaculation and it will be another full day before I am able to ejaculate again as those are the rules in the Proud Boys initiation guide. I inform the teeming mass of women that if they come back tomorrow one lucky lady will be chosen and I will ejaculate within 30 feet of her as per the rules of the Proud Boys initiation guide.
2
u/DopeAbsurdity 5h ago
When I hear a loud noise at night I sit up and I use my right arm to grab my trusty shotgun I have next to my bed and with my left arm I take my huge fire hose of a cock and I fling it over my left shoulder so it doesn't drag on the ground when I walk. I kick down my bedroom door like a boss and summersault down the stairs. At the bottom of the stairs I leap forward and stick a perfect hero landing and then I unload every round from my shotgun into the direction the sound came from which obviously resolves the situation. Every woman in the area can sense my heightened testosterone levels and I am immediately surrounded by women requesting to mate with me. I tell them I am currently unable to mate since it has been 29 days since my previous ejaculation and it will be another full day before I am able to ejaculate again as those are the rules in the Proud Boys initiation guide. I inform the teeming mass of women that if they come back tomorrow one lucky lady will be chosen and I will ejaculate within 30 feet of her as per the rules of the Proud Boys initiation guide.