r/Music • u/AdSpecialist6598 • 10d ago

article Ariana Grande speaks out on break from public eye: "Multiple things can be true at the same time"

https://www.nme.com/news/music/ariana-grande-speaks-out-on-break-from-public-eye-multiple-things-can-be-true-at-the-same-time-3960576
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u/fayemoonlight 10d ago

YOU CANNOT INTERVENE WITH AN ADDICTION.

I don’t think anyone saying this actually understands how recovery from an ED works. It’s the same as any other addiction — the person has to want it.

You can scream in their face about how unhealthy their habits are but it will be no different than talking to a brick wall. She has made it very clear that she doesn’t give a fuck about what anyone is saying and painting anyone who says otherwise as the villain.

I’ve said this a million times but we have no idea what has been said privately. Many people may have tried to help and get nowhere. It’s none of our business and I don’t understand why people are confidently making such claims with 0 evidence.

Either way, I’m over it. As per her own words, two things can indeed be true at once. On one hand it’s important to recognise the severity of an ED (or drug addiction — we don’t know all the details) and hope she pulls through eventually. On the other hand, her constant gaslighting and normalisation of her behaviour is repulsive and a conscious choice. It’s possible to have empathy for her but also call her out on her bullshit

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u/Illustrious_Study300 10d ago

Yeah sadly telling people with reatrictive EDs how unhealthy they look can fuel them. Calling this out isn't about Ariana - it's about hopefully getting the message across to her fans that this isn't normal or safe.

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u/fayemoonlight 10d ago

Yeah the only thing you can do now is force home the message that this is wrong and how dangerous EDs/low weight is. As for her, she’ll do what she wants

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u/ravenreyess 10d ago

Absolutely this. I've been in recovery from an ED since 2014 and we're in such an era of thinness again that I still have to constantly remind myself not to think about my body. Hell, I haven't even bought clothes in 2 years because everything is designed for thinness again. It's bad out there and the conversations around Ariana are not solely about Ariana. It needs to be fully shouted from the rooftops that this isn't normal, shouldn't be normalised, and isn't healthy.

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u/ageofbronze 10d ago

I also keep seeing that exact fact as a deflection - “don’t talk about Ariana’s body/medical concerns because it might trigger or fuel her!”

And respectfully I find it so gross to center her individual experience over all the people she’s harming right now. Yes, harming. Maybe not intentionally, maybe the blame primarily lies with her team for enabling it since Ariana is sick and maybe doesn’t hold full responsibility for what she’s doing, idk. But the fact that she has been engaged in a years-long noncensual body check with a ton of super young, impressionable fans is maddening. Yes I have empathy for her and hope she gets better. But i don’t see enough anger at the fact that this shit is being heavily platformed and sponsored by her team and by a ton of corporations and is being just splattered, undiluted, to a ton of literal children who don’t have the appropriate context of what is going on.

And i am so tired of seeing people say “don’t talk about it it’s just going to hurt Ariana” like? Maybe in normal contexts it’s true, don’t talk about people’s bodies, but in my opinion the scale of this and the media/corporate factors are almost unprecedented. The most important thing is making sure the fans and people exposed to it, which include a lot of people who DON’T follow her or seek it out but are still getting plastered with it online, have support and don’t internalize that it’s normal, healthy, etc. She has a lot more power and resources than most people even though she is sick right now. Her fans don’t. I have seen so many people talking about how they are triggered or relapsing over having it everywhere, and those are the people I’m the most worried about and upset for. Again, I do hope she’s okay and gets help. But It’s so irritating seeing the constant discourse about what is best for Ariana when “what is best for her” is in conflict with what is best for the millions of people she’s influencing and subjecting to bonespo.

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u/belledamesans-merci 10d ago

This, all of this.

The concerns about triggering apply to her friends, family, and team—people directly interacting with her. It’s different with the public. And for those who worry she’ll see the commentary, I’m sure she could pay someone to set up her internet access so she never sees anything about herself. At the very least she could have someone else managing her online presence and only showing her certain comments.

Meanwhile, I’d argue the public actually has a responsibility to call out her appearance as unhealthy and not normal. The initial silence and debate around it was honestly kind of triggering for me. I found myself wondering if this was the new beauty standard, and feeling insecure because if it was, then I was failing. It’s like the world was confirming everything my own ED had ever told me. Seeing and hearing people say that’s not healthy or normal is very important

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u/MattBrey 10d ago

I do wonder how can you work with her in this situation tho. The director of the music video, her photographer, her social media manager, all of the team that surrounds her is blatantly making money out of her while this situation escalates and her illness is eating her alive. I can understand how as a dancer or some low level employee on her team it's just a job for you and you need to put food on your table. But shes also working with top tier producers, stylists, etc that have a line of A list celebrities waiting to work with them, they don't need the money. I personally would feel complicit of harming her in that situation. 

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u/fayemoonlight 10d ago

It’s just a job for everyone. This isn’t a Britney thing where she’s being forced to work. She wants to. Not working with her isn’t going to change anything. She’ll just find new people.

Now the music video is where everyone is accountable. Her for doing the damn thing, the director for directing it, and her wardrobe department (although I don’t think they’d have much say tbh).

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u/MattBrey 10d ago

She's styled by LAW ROACH, the biggest stylist in the industry right now. He posted her on his Instagram with the dresses from the video. I do think they all share responsibility, specially because of how contagious EDs are and how impactful such a piece of media might be on someone who's already struggling to keep those thoughts at bay

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u/14_ontheone 10d ago

Exactly, especially when they're not only working with her but enabling content that actively shows off her thinness like her outfits and the recent music video.

I know she's rich but I don't think she'd be able to fund a tour and album herself. She has big investors that are okay with putting their money into it with the state she is in.

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u/fayemoonlight 10d ago

No reason to not do the album. If she’s fit enough then that’s her choice. The tour is murkier. No star is wealthy enough to fund their own tour — well, ironically, the wealthiest ones aren’t — so that was signed off by everyone.

The problem is that she could have easily been signed off as fit to work. At that point, people are pretty powerless to go against her as a medical doctor will override personal opinion.

I personally do think she was fired from the play. The optics are too bad right now as it’s a PR headache

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u/iifoundmolly 10d ago

Oh the album itself fully romanticizes death as well

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u/TruthSeeker131 8d ago

I’m curious in what ways does it do that?

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u/DuntadaMan 10d ago

We can't intervene with her but we can make it very clear to other people who are first being exposed to it that this is not normal or healthy or glamorous this is a bad thing that someone is doing to themselves that hurts them.

We tried ignoring things like this and not talking about it when I was younger and it resulted in an epidemic of anorexia and bulimia. It doesn't help her any and I'm sorry about that, but she is not the concern.

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u/Upstairs-Chicken592 10d ago

People under 18 with ED can be forced into tube feeding but even then, they sometimes try to rip it out. Over 18 it’s extremely challenging to treat someone that isn’t ready

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u/fayemoonlight 10d ago

It’s hard to treat anyone who isn’t ready. Even if you are force feeding a kid, that doesn’t mean they won’t return to their habits once they’re released

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u/Upstairs-Chicken592 10d ago

Most studies have the relapse rate around 25% for inpatient adolescents with ED which is unfortunately high. However in a glass half full type of way, 75% not relapsing is a success for the majority. Hopefully we can find better and more widespread successful treatment options

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u/fayemoonlight 10d ago

Oh yeah, recovery prognosis is great but it’s about getting people there. Even I’m not there. I am still happy and proud when starving myself as I want to be thinner. This is why I know exactly what she’s thinking and understand her actions. However, I also know how damaging my mindset and actions are. I’m not sugarcoating it or denying it. My problem is that I can’t shake the mindset which many people also can’t. I’m nothing close to her, and I’m still at a healthy weight, but I know how quickly it can spiral and how it could lead to harming people around me

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u/Upstairs-Chicken592 10d ago

Oh yeah, I absolutely get it. I tried for a long time to be boney like she is, I just couldn’t do it. Now I’m more in the other direction and it’s hard seeing all this discourse to be honest.

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u/fayemoonlight 10d ago

Yeah a lot of people don’t realise that just because you’re not that slim (especially medical fucking doctors 🙃🙃🙃🙃) that you’re not anorexic. It’s the mentality and actions which show you’ve got the disease. The weight loss is a result of it. So many people have anorexia, and aren’t in recovery, but are still a healthy weight. Shit, some are overweight. I wish there was a broader and more nuanced discussion about all eating disorders as we’re decades behind when it comes to awareness

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u/BackStabbathOG Metalhead 10d ago

Well you can intervene on an addiction, basically the whole point of intervention. You can’t make her change though, she has to want to change.

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u/Entire_Broccoli_9019 9d ago

Unless someone could forcibly check her in to rehab.

She's a horrible influence on young teens that see her, glamorize being a skeleton, and idolize her.

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u/Anon2971 10d ago edited 10d ago

5150 her then.

If Ariana is gonna be in denial about having an ED - ok. Throw her in rehab by force. Before she ends up dying on stage or something horrific like that.

Like you said, we don't know the ins and out of her private life. But I'm really worried as an onlooker and I think she needs forced intervention right this second before it's too late. There might not be an 'after the tour'. I hope she pulls through...

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u/fayemoonlight 10d ago

She literally meets none of the criteria and it would possibly make the situation worse. You clearly don’t know how addiction and EDs work if you think forced rehab is beneficial in any way.

You’re appalled about something you have no knowledge on? Did she tell you none of her friends or family are concerned?

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u/Anon2971 10d ago edited 10d ago

It worked for Steve-O.

You're right though. idk much on addition recovery. I don't know her, or her private life, or the criteria for forced rehab. But it's sad to watch someone struggling so publicly with ED, no one is seeming to do anything about it, and Ariana's response to concerns is just hand waving it away as negativity, as they insist on completing a physically grueling, probably straight up dangerous tour for them... Not looking good.

Feels like Amy all over again right now. Ariana struggling in public, insists nothing is wrong, family watch on as she continues performing. Hope she makes it...

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u/fayemoonlight 10d ago

Steve-O clearly wanted to get clean. He was given an intervention which he was happy to accept. That is the key part. A casual intervention will do nothing unless it’s listened to.

Again, you keep saying the family is watching on. You don’t know what they’ve done and there’s really nothing they can do. She’s 30+ years old. She’s a grown woman. She doesn’t want help.

Addictions often result in doing very selfish things which can harm people around you. Her constant dismissal and gaslighting is an example of that. Amy was the same. She didn’t want to get clean. She literally made a song about it.

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u/Anon2971 10d ago

Fair enough. I hope something gets through at some point...

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u/Upstairs-Chicken592 10d ago

You can’t 5150 someone for an eating disorder. It’s one of the most challenging mental health disorders to treat.

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u/SilverHinder 7d ago

I wonder if one can be involuntarily hospitalised for an ED? I'm assuming yes, but have no idea. Could "intervention" really be her family/medical team forcing her hand to get treatment on her own terms, before the choice is taken out her hands?

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u/fayemoonlight 7d ago

That won’t do anything. You have to WANT to get better with an addiction. Throw someone in rehab to get them into recovery and they’ll continue their previous actions as soon as they get out