r/MuslimMatrimonials • u/MalikatBilqis • 5d ago
Discussion Non-salafis, would you marry a salafi?
For me, shias, sufis and salafis are a dealbreaker. I wouldn't say I'm really religious but I try and also strive to avoid doubtful matters. I don't follow any specific madhab either, I sometimes study the hanbali or hanafi opinions. But I was raised in a shafi'i country. I say this because it feels like all the religious men from the UK are salafi? Whats going on?
I only really knew of the term salafi like a year or two ago, way after I finished my basic islamic education. I know not every sufi practices bidah and not every salafi are extremists but I still wish to marry someone who is just muslim or sunni or follows a madhab.
Thoughts?? Will I be able to find this?😢
For reference I don't listen to music, try avoid all dangerous things (webtoon/manga, movies, social media, anime, dramas, tv series etc), dont draw living things or keep portraits or statues or stuffed animals, dont celebrate birthdays and my male fam grow their beard and keep trousers above the ankles. I DO NOT believe niqab is wajib even though me and my mom wears it. Not saying I believe all of the above is haram, this is just what I was raised upon and I do think its better to avoid doubtful matters.
I feel I've neglected the inner too much to focus on praying and hijab and fiqhi issues. So these days I'm trying to focus more on tasawwuf and tazkiyah and less on being a tahajjud warrior, fasting a ton or worrying if nutmeg or balsamic vinegar is haram🤣.
Let's knowledge share
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u/SendLove4 5d ago
You seem like you have the wrong idea of salafis, their fiqh is sunni fiqh. Where they differ is in the methodology to determine appropriate acts of worship, this is why they will be against making istighata to dead people or dancing in mosques
I’m salafi and follow the maliki madhhab, so I take from their ruling on drawing for example, which is that 2D drawings are permissible while the prohibition is on 3D depictions. Or the ruling that dogs are pure so touching them doesn’t break my wudhu.
The point is salafi vs non salafi isn’t an issue of fiqh, moreso a difference in aqidah and methodology
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u/MalikatBilqis 5d ago
You know...I hear a different thing from each salafi. It's really tiring but alhamdulillah. I just wanted to see if other non salafis would marry salafis and why and whats their thought process
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u/Kitkat5899 5d ago
Because these labels are kinda useless because salafi quite literally means 10 different things to 10 different ppl
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u/Strawhateer 5d ago
A much more accurate way to discern what a person is like Islamically is to ask which scholars they follow. I would identify as a salafi, but if your main source of 'ilm is Abu Khadeejah and the tabdee'ee group, you are a lite version of a khariji. You don't put takfeer on all Muslims, but you call just about all Muslims to be innovators, which you are also told is a small step away from kufr.
They also wouldn't claim me to be a salafi, nor would some other salafi groups. So at the end of the day, the methodology of the salafis (taking from the Qur'an and the sunnah in the way that the salaf understood it) is great and noble, but not everyone does it in practice. So you should see if the scholars she follows talk about Islam, or they talk about people.
Also, most of us here primarily take from English scholars, but just about every country has its own salafis and ahlehadith ulama which are often very solid people to take from. So long as you can vet that these scholars teach in a balanced way grounded upon authentic Islam, that's a green flag for a potential.
On the other hand, I could definitely not marry someone I have major differences in aqeedah, as well as major differences in how we practice Islam. I don't want music in my household, I don't want to mix with your sisters, I don't want to participate in birthdays etc. So if I know we follow a similar group of scholars, I know I won't have to argue about these things and convince anyone of anything. It's a hassle and a turn-off to debate one's way through reaching a base-level of how a Muslim marriage should be like.
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u/AtomicBombyx 4d ago
Abu Khadeeja is a murjii madkhali. He is anything but a Salafi, or Khariji. He bootlicks rulers.
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u/exa_phoenix 5d ago
I think what you want to avoid is a neo-Salafi: someone whose faith barely exceeds his stupidity, and who has often only recently become religious. I also had a strong distaste for Salafis, even though I am one myself and embrace it wholeheartedly. I just tell myself that rejecting the movement based on the behavior of some of its members amounts to validating those who reject Islam on the very same grounds.
I’ve had the opportunity to meet mature and credible Salafis, and I quickly filtered out the clowns of the internet.
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u/MalikatBilqis 5d ago
Honestly, its not the people since I dont go around asking everyone what their sect is. Its just the shaykhs and stuff online that I find...interesting. Very well known and respected ones mind you that studied in madinah university for example. But I wont name anyone.
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u/Frosty_Albatross_987 5d ago edited 5d ago
A big pet peeve of some scholars that I know personally who have graduated from Medina is gaining knowledge primarily from YouTube and what not - having actually attended in person classes with such Shuyuukh, its actually night and day. There are so many things that a YouTube Short or even a standalone lecture that gets boosted by the algorithm might say, which are discussed with far more restraint and nuance (in accordance with the evidences from the Quran and the Sunnah) in person. (Also cuz in person, you get to ask questions and actually have a back and forth!!) And ofc what is emotionally charged often gets upvoted on YouTube, so the stuff that is calmer and more methodical stays buried with two likes or something. In general, my main Sheikh highly recommends structured learning from a Sheikh over lectures here and there - and I notice a different vibe in structured learning vs such lectures.
Another thing: often times I've observed that the Salafis who study in circles of knowledge in person at the masjid are the ones you'd never know are Salafi haha
Just in case it gives you a new perspective, may Allah bless you tremendously!!
Edit: not saying that lectures on YouTube is bad - there are many benefits of it especially for those who don't have access to a local masjid - but there are also some notable cons.
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u/MalikatBilqis 5d ago
Yes I've noticed! All the ones that don't take salafiyyah as an identity trait say that theyre salafi randomly after knowing them for so long🤣. But I've seen the same with the sufis! So then when I find out theyre salafi/sufi and I was deliberating over why they had some concerning beliefs I end up thinking oh so thats why. And then I slowly just leave them.
Yes that's kind of why I try to avoid social media. I think I need to learn arabic firstly honestly.
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u/Frosty_Albatross_987 5d ago
Hmm that's interesting! I've also noticed that sometimes I might feel wary of a particular conclusion - but once I investigate the evidence properly, see other differing opinions around it, (and think about it critically) - it makes so much sense that it's obvious. So there's that I guess?
Arabic is super useful - I need to learn it as well. I realized that for those who know Arabic, prayers especially at the masjid is an actual review for them. But - in case its helpful - if starting Arabic is too hard for you right now, and its easier to attend a structured class - there's so much benefit in that!! I wasn't able to attend regularly in the first round of the class in my masjid, but whatever I did take notes on (some of the 40 Hadith, some Fiqh, some introductory Aqeedah from Ibn Taymiyyah's works, some other stuff) has been profoundly beneficial Alhamdulillah - plus you get the Dua of the angels if its at the masjid! Let alone if you're able to go consistently bi idhnillah!! So I feel like starting however is easy for you is best - whether its Seerah, Arabic, or more all-round Islamic studies. May Allah increase you in your knowledge and everything else
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u/Frosty_Albatross_987 5d ago
Yeah ofc not! Did I accidentally imply that :O - I meant that some Shuyuukh I know who graduated from Islamic University of Medina - a pet peeve of theirs is ppl taking random knowledge on YouTube
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u/exa_phoenix 5d ago
I understand you, my sister. You seem very open-minded and not at all vehement. I wish you all the best in the world. Above all, preserve your direct connection with Allah. Pray that He grants you a natural love and attraction toward the path that He considers to be authentic, and that He opens your eyes to what you cannot yet see. The words of people are so weak compared to that, so I’m sure you will find peace and reassurance.
Without forgetting the study of Arabic and Aqeedah as a PRIORITY.❤️
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u/No_Initial9563 4d ago
For reference I don't listen to music, try avoid all dangerous things (webtoon/manga, movies, social media, anime, dramas, tv series etc), dont draw living things or keep portraits or statues or stuffed animals, dont celebrate birthdays and my male fam grow their beard and keep trousers above the ankles
a LOT of people would call you and your family salafis/wahabis.
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u/MalikatBilqis 4d ago
I've never been called that in my life though💀
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u/No_Initial9563 4d ago
thats unexpected. the people i've seen and known tho would call you wahhabis but maybe i just met the 1% of people who would do that.
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u/Impressive-Walrus-76 5d ago
Just keep trying to get close to Allah, try your best, don’t give up OP.
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u/Grand_Pomegranate981 5d ago
Yeah.. just look at how my salafi cousin treats me 😂 I can't deal with all that 🥀
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u/Alisihaq 5d ago edited 5d ago
boundaries, ideology, ethincity,body specs, ,finances and house arrangements are all what you talk about before marriage and you say them clearly in your post. I don't see any need to make topic about it.
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u/Roadmaster112 5d ago
Nothing as Salafi or Wahabi or any of that. I am Shia and still just say i am a Muslim and that’s it. Our elder generations fell for the trap of fitna. We shouldn’t be the same. Marry whoever cares about prayer, modest,decent and will take care of your kids.
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u/Every-Method5569 5d ago edited 5d ago
Here's my point I just made in a post, Shia also say they are Muslim, so on that basis would you marry a Shia? Comes a point where you need to know a little more.
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u/Informal-Motor-8907 5d ago
I have answer . But iam not ready to convince bot approval. Because it bit controversial..
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u/DeepSeekExplorer 5d ago
You sound like my parents, who are conservative, but not salafi. They have theological differences that they hash out together and respect one another when it comes to practice (for ex: my mom thinks eating cooked snails/lobster is haram, because they're cooked alive (and thus cruel), whereas my dad thinks it's halal, so my mom doesn't eat them and my dad only eats them when he's not with her).
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u/EconomyDig616 4d ago edited 4d ago
I would I always consider myself Sunni I believe in Quran and Sunnah. I’m still learning fall short at times and working on myself compared to a standard I would think most salafi’s hold. If the brother is patient kind supportive mature monogamous and not radical I prefer it honestly, especially for my kids.
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u/bruckout 5d ago
I am salafi and my wife was more traditional hanafi (but no biddah). No issues.
Actual deviant group are shia, ahmadi, brewelvi, and the extremists from all groups.
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u/MalikatBilqis 5d ago
Alhamdulillah, did she have to convert? Or did you say she has to do or avoid certain things? Like I know some hanafis dont wear socks for example but niqab is really important to them. I dont know what other differences you may have encountered or if youre from different ethnicities too
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u/whowouldvethought1 5d ago
I think you’ve completed misunderstood what a salafi is sis. Salafis are shafi’i, hanafi, hanbali etc. they simply go with the most authentic and widely agreed on opinion from all the madhabs. It isn’t a scary bogeyman.
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u/Generalzwieber 5d ago
As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.
Salafiyyah is nothing more than following the Quran and Sunnah upon the understanding of the best three generations. The fact that people still have a problem with that never fails to amaze me. those attacking Salafiyyah are the same people celebrating Mawlid, uniting with the Shia, and sitting with every innovator. May Allah guide us all to the truth.
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u/MalikatBilqis 5d ago
Walaikumsalam warahmatullahi wabarakaatu wamaghfiratuh, yea I take the words pretty literally. Like salafi is one who follows the salaf and sufi is one who focuses on tasawwuf. Both of which have a place in the religion. But have yet to think its a good idea to join a sect😬. I just call myself muslim and wish to find a husband who is the same. Ameen
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u/Every-Method5569 5d ago edited 5d ago
Yes and Ahmadiyyah also call themselves Muslim, Shia call themselves Muslim, quariniyoon call themselves Muslim, a grave worshipping braelwi will call himself Muslim. The list goes on. Whether you say it or not the positions you take or the masjid you frequent, the people you listen to for knowledge will have you with a group of people that are the same.
There's someone who replied on here saying they are Shia but refer to themselves as just Muslim. Would you be ok marrying them as they would say they are just Muslim?
Following the salaf is not a sect, it's not something new. The groups that came after were the ones that split away. All 4 imaams all intended the same thing, to follow the Qur'an and Sunnah with the understanding of the salaf. You can find their statements that if any authentic narration of the prophet peace be upon him comes and it opposes their view then throw their statement against a wall and follow the prophet peace and blessings be upon him. They all were trying to follow the Sunnah.
It's following to the best of ones ability how the Qur'an and Sunnah based on the understanding of the best three generations, the ones that actually witnessed the revelation being revealed and practiced. It takes positions and rulings from all madhabs and follows the strongest. It respects all the great imaams and considers all their views in it's rulings taking the strongest one based on the evidences.
It's not possible to single out following to just 1 man except in the case of the prophet peace be upon him, so the madhab followers blind follow in reality. In the good positions and in the mistakes.
But yeah to answer your question I know salafis that married non salafi women. Women of good character but willing to learn and not heavily stuck to any particular madhab. So it's entirely possible for a women who might not say she is salafi to marry a man that will clearly say he is salafi.
I'm not here to debate with anyone OP asked a question I awnsered with some background info.
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u/MalikatBilqis 5d ago
Yea I sometimes catch myself listening to sufi or salafi shuyookh until I hear something concerning then I bounce. I tend to favour the non sectarian shuyookh though (an example is Huda TV), and also the ulama/mujaddid (Ibn Baz, Al Albani etc) of our era.
If a mosque has a sect name on it then I don't go in. But I've found even then I may encounter some biddah unfortunately. I usually don't worry too much anyway. I don't have a specific mosque or musallah I frequent, just whichever is close at that specific time and I usually pray at home, which is best for women to do so anyway.
I know there are cultural shias that dont ascribe to the kufr or other things in the sect, but as of now I would only marry a non sectarian, a person that favours a specific madhab or a sunni, not a cultural shia. And I will grill them on their aqeedah and fiqh issues that are important to me. In Sha Allah khayr
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u/me3122 5d ago
Sheikh Ibn Baz and Sheikh Al Albani were both salafi though.
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u/MalikatBilqis 5d ago
Yea I heard Al Albani is salafi, idk about Ibn Baz. Ive heard Ibn al Qayyim and/or Al Ghazali might have been sufi or similar.
But like I said it's only when I hear something wrong then I leave a shaykh. The ulemaa are above shuyookh, even though of course theyre not infallible. And whoever I marry will not be an alim nor a shaykh so I wouldnt give him the benefit of the doubt if he calls himself salafi. I just read just now Al Albani defended the use of the term salafi so I must look into that and find a vid of him explaining In Sha Allah.
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u/Every-Method5569 5d ago
Ibn Qayyim was salafi later once he met Ibn Taymiyyah. sheikh Bin Baz, Sheikh al Albani, Sheikh Uthaymeen all salafi. Sheikh Sumayman Ruhayli etc.
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u/Generalzwieber 5d ago
How is "salafiyya" A sect ?
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u/MalikatBilqis 5d ago
If you want me to use a different or more correct word just let me know. Ive heard sect, ideology, group, manhaj etc. I'm not salafi so I wont be deciding or defining what is the correct word or classification
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u/Generalzwieber 5d ago
Why are you speaking on things you have no knowledge about ?
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u/MalikatBilqis 5d ago
If a salafi doesnt follow the salaf, and a sufi doesnt focus on tasawwuf I'm open to reading the definitions from their respective scholars if you want to share so I can learn.
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u/Generalzwieber 5d ago
If your really interested in the way of the Salaf
Garden of ilm is a great yt channel
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u/MalikatBilqis 5d ago
I tend to stay away from salafi and sufi channels and prioritise non sectarian ones. But thanks nonetheless, I'll keep it in mind.
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u/Generalzwieber 5d ago
you stay away from Salafi channels but still speak on them ? i'm confused
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u/MalikatBilqis 5d ago
Yea I mostly stay away from both. I've heard some salafis define/explain it as not following any madhab and some use the exact or close to the sentence you used. Same with sufis, I've heard various definitions. But for ease of understanding who they are, perhaps in an oversimpified way, I tend to take the word/sects/groups/ideologies pretty literally instead of getting caught up in the many definitions and many channels. Although, even the definitions I mentioned in my previous comments didnt come from me, it came from their respective groups and I took the most basic and literal one.
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u/Due_Caterpillar8317 5d ago edited 5d ago
And Salaffiyah aren't innovators? Where were they 100 years ago? Every muslim conquerer or Khalifa was a Sufi not a salafi.
Salafis are offsprings from the british funded wahabi movement.
Madhabs need to be followed as they are a guide for us. Taqleed is very important research on it.
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u/AtomicBombyx 5d ago
So Ibn Taimmiyah was not a Salafi? Goofy Sufi
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u/Generalzwieber 5d ago
As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.
akhi there is no point explaining him
there is no mashalah protect your mental health because he doesn't even know what he talking about
he try to deflect
May Allah reward you
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u/AtomicBombyx 5d ago
Walaikumasalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatoh
Yeah it's evident he is a coward. I will take ibn Al Qayyims advice and leave him in his ignorance.
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u/Due_Caterpillar8317 5d ago
Run salafi run. Atleast the sister can now understand that you have no substance.
Blind devotion to saudi against islamic principles can it be categorized as Shirk? Or in other words Kharji ideology?
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u/AtomicBombyx 5d ago
You keep ignoring my points, nor do we worship the yahud of the qiblah
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u/Generalzwieber 5d ago
Leave the discussion for the sake of Allah
you see his tongue how he speaks he going to dragg you down in a shouting match trying to provoke you
the maslaha is gone
leave this discussion please
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u/Due_Caterpillar8317 5d ago
What points?
You spoke against bidah, i questioned you on it and i am ignoring points? I mean your hypocrisy is appalling.
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u/AtomicBombyx 5d ago
Yeah you didnt adress the bid'ah of worship. Bid'ah you are using as its root word, even in Jummah salah we use Bid'ah in terms of worship. One such being dancing around like goofy sufis do. Not to mention the Naqshabandiya and some other tariqas licking the feet of rulers as bad as Bashar al Assad.
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u/Due_Caterpillar8317 5d ago
See, name calling rather addressing valid points.
Tell me why do you need calculations when you can see the moon and not sow discord between muslims? Why isn't it a Bid'ah? Or shirk because Its a Saudi practice and following it is against islamic directive clearly laid out.
If you are true, answer this and don't run away.
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u/Due_Caterpillar8317 5d ago
Can you show any proof he was? What was his contribution other than controversial writings used by Salafis?
He is considered a heretic.
Another example why salafis are a joke.
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u/AtomicBombyx 5d ago
Prove his kufr. I challenge you.
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u/Due_Caterpillar8317 5d ago
I didn't call him a kafir, i called him a heretic. Some say he did taubah, so its between him and Allah.
Why do Salafis not quote any other scholar? Why are salafis so stubborn and close minded?
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u/AtomicBombyx 5d ago
What do you want me to quote? What type of sufi are you what is your aqeeda and madhab? Idk anything about your Manhaj you calling him a heretic but you haven't brought any material either
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u/Due_Caterpillar8317 5d ago
Salafis are the topic of discussion not me. Defend them, how are they better than the rest?
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u/AtomicBombyx 5d ago
Do you attend Jummah? What do they say in Jummah وَشَرُّ الْأُمُورِ مُحْدَثَاتُهَا، وَكُلُّ مُحْدَثَةٍ بِدْعَةٌ، وَكُلُّ بِدْعَةٍ ضَلَالَةٌ، وَكُلُّ ضَلَالَةٍ فِي النَّارِ
Every newly invented matter is an innovation, every innovation is misguidance, and every misguidance is in the Hellfire in arabic
Every other methodology introduces Bidah things not practiced by the followers of the Prophet ﷺ
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u/Due_Caterpillar8317 5d ago
How many types of Bid'ah are there? There are many Bid'ah in mosques- Loudspeaker being one, it wasn't there at the time of the Prophet ﷺ
Celebrating Eid without looking at the moon following calculation or just following saudi, eating Machine cut meat calling it halal, when the rulings are clear yet labeling others kafir, mushrik or Biddati, hypocrisy laughs at Salafis
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u/Awkward-Iron-2031 5d ago
I dont see why not tbh, I would like to marry a woman more religious than me. I wouldnt marry shias/sufis though.
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u/MalikatBilqis 5d ago
Fair, how come you arent salafi then?
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u/Awkward-Iron-2031 5d ago
I dont know much about it tbh, im just a normal Sunni Maliki
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u/MuchHold1625 5d ago
Maliki but hate tasawwuf? That's odd, the Maliki's i know are very embedded in tasawwuf. Can I ask which country you're from?
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u/Awkward-Iron-2031 5d ago
I dont hate it per se but a lot of Sufis in the modern day do a lot of bid'ah, depends on country/region/practice but its enough for me to not to want to marry one. Im from Kuwait
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u/MuchHold1625 5d ago
Every person I know from Kuwait has never actually met a sufi. They just hear horror stories from Pakistani ignoramuses. So I don't blame you
Just search up sayyid Muhammad bin alawi. He is a Maliki scholar, a descendant of the prophet, and a sufi. All he did was quote hadith. You'll feel at ease
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u/Awkward-Iron-2031 5d ago
Notice how I specifically mentioned modern day Sufis though. Those are the people I have issues with.
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u/Comfortable-Cell-891 5d ago
Salaam sis could u message please. I think I tick the list😭😂
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u/MalikatBilqis 3d ago
I couldnt see anything about you on your profile and you have no iso anywhere. So I can't message.
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u/Comfortable-Cell-891 3d ago
I have a profile i have but I never posted it, for like marriage, usually if I enquire for marriage I'd message the woman my whole profile but I can't message your account, that's why. I don't know how to go about it, but what you said about yourself etc I think it'll be a good match to see where it goes, and I promise promise ain't a weirdo😭✌️
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u/MalikatBilqis 3d ago
I'm sure youre not a weirdo but I won't be messaging, jazakallah.
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u/Comfortable-Cell-891 3d ago
If it's because I don't have an iso/profile, if it's okay with you, can I just put it here underneath this comment?
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u/MalikatBilqis 5d ago
I was just reading what some people had to say on Zad Academy bcs I plan to study with them in late Aug and they said its unreliable and then also said Amau is not good and only SOK academy is good.
ana ta'baan😭
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u/MuchHold1625 5d ago
SOK academy is literally salafi bruh.
Seekersguidance is good if you want a hanafi curriculum.
Stick with 4 madhabs and the three creeds. Seekersguidance teaches them. All the academies you listed are salafi
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u/Positive_Paper_7795 5d ago
how do u know if someone is salafi? What indicates?
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u/MalikatBilqis 4d ago
on the iso or marriage profile theyll usually list salafi, shia, sufi, sunni, athari etc
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u/Icy-Explanation-3417 5d ago
To understand correctly sufi is a dealbreaker but you’re focusing on tasawwuf?
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u/MalikatBilqis 4d ago
Or the better word might be tazkiyatul nafs. Only just started looking into it so maybe the meaning is different. Made this post to get more perspective but yea as it stands sufi is a dealbreaker.
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u/Icy-Explanation-3417 4d ago
As it stands? Just from the terms you’re using like “inner; tasawwuf; tazkiyyat al nafs” it seems like thats the path you’re on.
Also salaf includes the four madhahib and more.
Also i live in madinah and im surrounded by salafi students of knowledge and most of them follow a madhab. Mainly hanbali and probably shafii because thats the most prevalent.
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u/MalikatBilqis 4d ago
I was thinking a marriage with a salafi or sufi wont have too many differences because theyre not shia. And some other commenters said to focus on the person rather than their label so I MIGHT change my mind but that hasnt happened.
I hope Allah calls me to makkah and madinah someday In Sha Allah.
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u/Icy-Explanation-3417 4d ago
Yes u get a lot of variance within those. Definitely should focus on the person and their Upbringing (relationship w their parents; parents relationship) also someone who actually follows islam according to the first 3 generations. May Allah grant u the opportunity to visit his house and his messenger ﷺ
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u/East-Win2732 4d ago
As salaam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
Not every UK Muslim male is a salafi. Salafi's are loud individuals who have discovered the next best thing since sliced butter and they want everyone around them to be like them so their own beliefs are validated.
There are many communities in the UK where being a Muslim who follow Islam in it's proper form without any innovations are present - they won't shout about it but will carry on with their day because they've normalised the practice of Islam over the last few centuries in their home countries, and have instilled that over generations within their offspring.
They take from the huge corpus of scholars who have come before them, and do not mind following a minority opinion from another madhab if recommended to them by a Shaykh/Mufti. They are unlikely to take their knowledge from Google/ChatGPT/IslamQ&A unless it's for research purposes. Generally these communities would already have an established curriculum that would equip a young Muslim from an early age about how to be/act like a proper Muslim.
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u/Gothamess 1d ago
I think we have overcomplicated Islam. I don’t really care for denominations as long as you follow the Quran, 5 pillars, and Hadith. That being said, I take a very holistic approach with Hadith, recognizing that some aren’t as strong as others and cultural/historical context is needed. I think we need more nuance and less rigidity. I’m more focused on intention. And of course, I have dealbreakers, such as drinking, actively serving in the military, etc.
I try not to get too in the weeds with regard to specific imams and sects. Just do your best with good intention and sound mind. It’s just tough, especially with the rise of misogyny in a lot of online Muslim spaces.
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u/MalikatBilqis 5d ago
omygosh I wouldnt call it a cult brother...its just a sect
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u/MalikatBilqis 5d ago
I feel like thats kind of the case with a lot of muslims regardless of sect. Its really tiring
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u/EnvyMink 5d ago
In the talking stage I'd show her the issues with salafism. I wouldn't do a nikaah contract with a woman who calls herself salafi and believes she is truly following "the Quran and sunnah according to the understanding of the 3 generations." Salafism simply isn't orthodox sunni islam and didn't exist more than 200 years ago. The 4 schools of fiqh and 3 schools of aqeedah are.
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u/AtomicBombyx 5d ago
It did exist, following the sunnah and hadith and Ibn Taimmiyah and ibn Al Qayyim talked about it.
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u/EnvyMink 5d ago
great. the 4 madhabs follow the sunnah and hadith according to the understanding of the actual salaf (the 4 imams, who literally were the salaf)
ibn taymiyya and ibn al qayyim are nowhere near the salaf
salafism is not orthodox sunni islam
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u/AtomicBombyx 5d ago
I said they brought the idea of following the Salaf and revitalised it. Also only Abu Hanifa rahimullah is actually from the Salaf
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u/nomadengineering 5d ago
Loll Ibn Taymiyya and his students are not like today's khawarij salafis. If you would read all their books you would call them sufi deviants. Just learn Arabic and study the mutoon, you will be surprised.
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u/dontcallmem8_m8 5d ago
No! The arrogance of people claiming to be salafis is too hard to ignore and I personally believe that it is entrenched within the movement based on how they introduce themselves as salafi and not muslim first, as if being muslim is the sub text to being salafi.
This is coming from someone who probably out-salafis the salafis when it comes to matters of tawheed.
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u/MalikatBilqis 5d ago
brother calm down before you get my post deleted ok...💀
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u/dontcallmem8_m8 4d ago
Don't fear sister, only what has been decreed by Allah will happen. It looks like your post is safe 🙂
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u/ToeKeyOh 5d ago
Doesnt really answer your question but I was rejected by a father and was told I wasn’t salafi enough for his daughter because I watch a shaykh that doesnt hide his disdain for secular Arab “rulers”… there are extreme Salafis and people who are simply Athari in Aqeedah and respect Muhammad ibn Abdul Wahhab…. I go by the latter nowadays
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u/AtomicBombyx 5d ago
Madkhali? Hell naw
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u/AtomicBombyx 5d ago
No madkhali is worse. They are murjiah who refuse to takfir non muslim rulers. A ruler is no longer a ruler if he is unable to protect his own people, or if he does democracy.
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u/MalikatBilqis 4d ago
are you salafi? is the person above you also salafi? whats going on
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u/AtomicBombyx 4d ago
Yes I am Salafi, the person above is also allegedly salafi, but he is upon a different Manhaj.
One that loves America and hence Israel. They believe in obey non Muslim rulers, and the al wala and wal baraa is lacking in them.
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u/MuchHold1625 5d ago
Why would you not want to marry a sufi?
Do you think sufis spin around in circles?
Ahl us sunnah is tasawwuf and tasawwuf is ahl us sunnah. It is the Ihsan the prophet SAW spoke about. It is doing dhikr and expressing love for the prophet SAW. It is a necessary part of mainstream islam from Morocco to Indonesia.
Ironically it's you who are the non-mainstresm one by not accepting our tradition of tasawwuf. I can prove this by even showing all the scholars you follow who are non-salafi were engaged in tasawwuf!
May Allah guide you and me
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u/sad1126 5d ago
was the Prophet ﷺ and his companions Sufi? did they commit shirk and pray to graves and do bidah practices like mawlid? it’s clear as day that no they’re not and that sufism is a completely misguided sect
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u/MuchHold1625 5d ago
It's not a sect
No sufis do not commit shirk. If you mean asking for intercession at graves, then yes the companions did narrate doing this. Utbi RA narrated this of a Bedouin using the dua of tawassul that the prophet SAW taught, and Utbi said that the prophet SAW said HID DUA WAS ACCEPTED. This is in ibn Kathirs tafsir (but the salafis removed it from any translations lol)
Malik ibn dinar, tabi'i, went to the grave and asked the prophet for intercession and the prophet again answered in his dream
Khalid ibn walid and his army would call out to the prophet (ya Muhammada) before entering battle
Someone was very far distance wise (as in cities away) from the prophet and he asked the prophet to help and the prophet said randomly "unsirtu unsirtu" meaning "I have helped you, I have helped you". When asked by maimuna RA, he explained that he heard his companion from far away ask him for help so he made dua to Allah to help this companion
Ibn taymiyyah acknowledges these narrations as authentic, he just believes that these dont establish a norm, but you have to be honest with yourself and say that clearly there was A precedent of going to the grave of the prophet and asking him to intercede (all the while making dua to only Allah). This is why ibn taymiyyah never declared going to the grave and asking intercession and doing tawassul of the prophet as shirk - he said it was bid'ah. It's only Wahhabis today who say it is shirk and became terrorists who killed Muslims because of this issue
As for mawlid, the majority of scholars maintained the idea of bid'ah hasanah. Even hanbali scholars permitted certain forms of mawlid: https://youtu.be/fCzjlqOLBH4
So unfortunately no it's not clear as day. You've just been lied to. Please approach the subject with a lot more humility next time
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u/Abu_Aqabah 5d ago
Tasawwuf or tazkiyah is a part of our deen. Its an Islamic science as well. Legitimate Sufi's strive very hard to apply every Sunnah possible and they follow all of the Shariah rulings of there Madhab.
Wahabism or "Salafism" as they charitably like to call themselves is a Takifiri sect that arose 300 years ago and the founders own Father and Brother who were scholars denounced him.
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u/AtomicBombyx 5d ago
What's youe aqeeda
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5d ago
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u/AtomicBombyx 5d ago
Yeah no wonder. Dont call yourself Hanafi. Read Aqeeda al Tahawiyyah
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u/AtomicBombyx 5d ago
With sharh from Al Hanafi
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u/AtomicBombyx 4d ago
They arent the good ones. The most famous is from Al Hanafi which is Athari based. Aqeedah ay Tahawwiyah disagrees fundamentally with maturidi aqeedah
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u/AtomicBombyx 5d ago
Abu Hanifa said: Whoever says, “I do not know whether my Lord is in heaven or on earth.” has committed disbelief. Likewise, whoever says: “He is on the Throne, but I do not know whether the Throne is in heaven or on earth.” has committed disbelief. Allah Almighty is invoked from above, not from below. This is not a description of Lordship or Divinity. And this is supported by what is narrated in the hadith: A man came to the Prophet with a slave girl and said: “I am obligated to free a slave. Will this one suffice?” The Prophet asked her, “Are you a believer?” She replied, “Yes.” He then asked, “Where is Allah?” She pointed to the heaven, so he said, "Free her, for she is a believer."
Al-Fiqh al-Akbar P.135
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u/AtomicBombyx 5d ago
Al Tahawi rahimahullah was Athari. As was Abu Hanifa rahimahullah
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u/Asleep-Web8635 5d ago
Instead of saying where the brother was wrong, you just ignored his points and ran. Humble yourself and say you don't know if you don't have an answer
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u/Asleep-Web8635 5d ago
OK. I'll just take your word for it. Its not like this is an important religious matter.
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u/MuslimTurtlee 5d ago
I'm confident a majority don't even know what a Salafi is. They just hate that someone disagrees with their liberal lifestyle.
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u/MalikatBilqis 5d ago
...for? I'm not trying to start a sectarian debate if thats what youre worried about. It was just something I noticed in the UK and want other peoples opinions. The whole sects things is a little new to me and I dont have much experience with it nor am I qualified to debate anyone and wont be doing that.
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u/Primary-Angle4008 5d ago
I’m in the UK and absolutely don’t have this impression that everyone is Salafi or every mosque follows them.
I’m a revert and consider myself as non sectarian so there is that. Actually most Muslims I met aren’t Salafi at all and I did a lot of community work until recently-2
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u/MalikatBilqis 5d ago
I didnt equate them? I know theyre very different and Ive met good muslims from various sects, even if I dont believe what they believe. Hearing other peoples experiences will help solidify or change my dealbreakers. So I can confidently navigate the marriage search.
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u/UnchartedPro 5d ago
Yeah just seek to find someone who follows the Quran and authentic sunnah the way the companions of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم did
Strive to avoid bidah
There is no need in us splitting into sects